Religion interfering with relationships?what to do in such a situation?

i am from a family that is religious, but I am not. it is to the point that I would be disowned or at the very least they would become very distant and angry, if I married a guy outside my religion, even though I am not religious.

i have been casually seeing a guy outside my religion for a long time already. it isn't just FWB. I don't like casual dating but because he is not from my religion and it would cause complication I am okay with it in this situation. I don't think he wants a relationship with me either. we are just enjoying each others company and I keep it going because I like him a lot and I am not in a relationship anyway.

however I have a date soon with a guy who is from my religion. I don't know him well yet, and the date may not go anywhere at all.

i am not committed to the guy I am dating so I am allowed to date other people. I would not be surprised if he does.

i am sad because even if the date goes really well with the new guy, I know that means I would have to give up seeing the guy I am involved with.

it just hurts me, because even though we are not in a relationship he won't be happy when I end it. I just like him so much but in my heart I know I can't be with him anyway.

all in all what I want the most is a relationship where I am happy. I know I won't get that with the guy I am seeing now.

i know that no matter what I will have to break it off with him at some point. but what do I do?

i don't think I am being a bitch for dating other people because we are not in a commitment. but a little part of me feels bad about it all the same :( and deep down I think I just want to be with him. but I can't.

maybe I just feel like this because I haven't met other guys I like? I think I am capable of liking and being with someone new.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Yeah I have to agree with the others, I have no idea why someone would make a choice based on another social groups desires (ie family) over their own. If your family don't want you to be with someone who makes you happy, then they TRULY don't care about YOU, only about prolonging their control over you in brainwashing you to their ideologies. It makes me sick. What makes me most sick about it is that I had a girl who would have LOVED to have dated me...at a time when I REALLY needed it...but her parents brainwashed her into thinking she can't date someone who doesn't follow their delusional beliefs! It just makes me sick how parents do this, and to a lesser extent, how the children actually give into their bullying, because that's what this is, BULLYING! Why should a parent expect their children to be exactly like them? They are their own people...so in short, make you own choice, present it to them, if they don't like it, that proves they don't love you, so get them out of your life!

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What Guys Said 1

  • If you can not be with him, you'll hurt him less if you break-up immediately. In relationship man and a woman must to adapt to each other. If they can not then they are not able for relationship. Of course there are limits to adaptation.

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What Girls Said 1

  • who said you can't be with him this is your familys views not urs. and to be honest is he really committed to you or feels the same way you do? I know its hard but in the long run its better to be yourself. your family will die one day I mean are you still gnna believe what they do if they do die. I know it can be complex but maybe jot things down on paper exctly what you would like. you shouldn't even care what we say really because deep down its your decision. I have a similar issue with religious beliefs opposing with family but I'm trying my best. you are expecting people to accept how you are when really it doesn't even matter. they will most likely not accept but you should think about your own wellbeing , since if you carry on doing what you don't want to do you'll end up making yourself mentally ill

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