Why would a guy date if he's broke or maybe he's just cheap?

A little help here. My guy friend never takes me out. All we do is hang out at his apt,make love unconditionally. He's amazing. Gets me every time. But he never gesture OK next time let's go to a movie or dinner or anywhere else but his place. It's been 2mths since we started dating. He's sweet,honest,hardworking. Very lay back kinda guy. Not a worries in the world can get him down. He's very patient,he live very minimal. Makes do with whatever he has. Me,on the other hand,I work 12-14 hrs 4 days a week. I don't mind going dutch. But I don't wanna man to feel I'm pressuring him to take me out,so I don't say anything. I'm still observing. Maybe 2mths is to soon to judge him like this? I really like him & I hate judging people. I'm probably the cheapest date he ever had...or am I lowering myself to pls him ?

Updates:
I tried talking about it once and we didn't see one another for 3was. He acted as if I was pushing for some kinda label on the relationship. I don't know where his head is. And he's always texting me all day long. He does want to take things slowly...so I'm just giving it time. Maybe I'll ask him again or just let go ...
Hi guys,guess what,today I brought up the topic again. How come he don't take me out or do things like normal dating people do. I told him what I'm looking for,like a relationship,someone who can commit to me. He said at this point in time in his life that he's not looking for anything serious,or any relationship because he is main priority is his music career & he won't have time for dating. My question is ,so why the f*** you keep stringing me along like this. After all we are having sex.
I explain how emotional sex is for me and I'm developing feelings for him. He said he don't get emotional about sex he just thought we are into each other & having fun. He don't think of it as he's in it to settled. So I told I got to move on that I can't go on like this. Obviously we both not on the same page,we view the relation from 2 complete different angles. So there it is,I'm heartbroken but I'll get over it,u live. You learn,u move on.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I think you deserve better than that and not to be used sexually. Talk to him again and if he reacts like before then is time to move on. You deserve to be taking care of in every way possible,not just sexually.

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What Guys Said 3

  • If he makes a big deal about you suggesting you 2 do something as simple as a movie, then there's something wrong. He's either using you for sex, & the excuse of moving too fast is just that, an excuse to prolong the romp..He's afraid of going out in public (Not sure the name of that phobia). He's using you for sex. He's cheap. Or he's using you for sex.

    It's one of those, pick one.

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    • I don't know guys...he's very respectful. He listens to me,remembers things that important to me. Very patient kinda guy. He's so sweet,everyday,he's the first one to text and during the day he'll send me a kiss,a smile a wink & tell me how cute I am by sending me pictures that I send him. Omg I don't know...I'm over acting.

  • No. That would make me gay and stupid at the same time.

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  • Decide what you want to do and see if he'll go with you.

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    • I'm worried if by me deciding, might just push him away... He has a lot of great qualities that is rare. And I hate to make a big deal outta this but its like my real 2nd relationship & its sad that something like this would bother me. I'm not asking for much. But I hate to ask people to come out of their comfort zone.

    • Don't make a big deal out of it. Just invite him to do something that would be fun for both of you, and if it doesn't work, try a few more times with different things. If he always says no you have your answer.

What Girls Said 4

  • Considering that he is just a friend and you two are having sex, and he has not spent a dime on you. He is more fitting of a friends with benefits. I'm not sure if he's actually dating you while it is clear that he does have feelings towards you (hense the texting constantly).

    Just tell him what you want from him.

    Say I love hanging out with you, but it'd be great if we went out sometime.

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  • Maybe he doesn't know that a date is so important to you? Maybe next time you hang out, you could mention that you'd like to go out on some sort of date once in a while. Even if it's just going to a movie or something.

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    • But I do feel your question in the title is wrong. It's not because someone is broke or "cheap" that he's not allowed to fall in love and date.

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    • Then you HAVE to tell him something. Why should it come naturally? It's not because it's a guy that he should feel the urge to take you out on a date. I think, if you want things to be solved, you should mention it to him. You're allowed to talk about your likes and dislikes, hopes and stuff in a relationship you know ;) communication is key!

    • I don't mean you should ask him for a date, he said no once, he could say it again. Just let him know that you'd like it and it means something to you.

  • No for both. I don't date broke guys nor do I date cheap

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  • Sounds like he just wants to sit at his apartment and have sex, not go anywhere and take you on dates. It's not necessarily wrong, but it says a lot about what kind of guy he is and what he's willing to offer. It wouldn't be okay with me, but it's up to you.

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    • Hun, if he really wanted to take things "slowly," he'd be taking you on dates and not having sex or sleepovers. Sex and sleepovers and hanging out at each others' places come after the slow part. He's just trying to make you seem crazy so that he won't have to do something he doesn't want to. I'd take him at his word. Say "Oh didn't realize you wanted to go slow. Lets cut out the sex and staying over then and start fresh." Then you'll see slow didn't actually mean "slow," it meant easy sex

    • without dating. A FWB that he was too afraid to ask you for or fill you in on because you might say no. He was the one being sneaky about intentions and trying to trap you into a relationship label, not you.

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