Is there a stigma placed on women who date black men?

If so, what perpetuates this and why? I've recently had poor luck with online dating (see my profile for previous question on online dating) and I am curious to know if my ethnicity may have something to do with my recent string of hard luck.

OKCupid posted some interesting statistics on the effects of race on initial response rates. They showed that black males get a considerable less amount of responses than their counterparts. What do you believe drives this? Please be brutally honest. I will even accept intentionally hurtful comments because I feel that there may be some truth behind them.

Thanks!


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Most Helpful Girl

  • A lot of the other answerers are spot on. It's a shame that there is a stereotype like this, but unfortunately it does exist.

    It doesn't have anything to do with looks (at least in my opinion); I'm white and gravitate toward white guys, but I've definitely seen a lot of hot black guys that I would date (were I single). The truth is though, society still has a hard time accepting interracial dating. And, like girlygirlkk said, white girls that date black guys are stereotypically seen as promiscuous and off-limits to white guys.

    Just last week I was out with some friends of mine, and my white girl friend was flirting with my white guy friend. They seemed to be hitting it off until her black guy friend came into the picture and she ignored my guy friend. He asked me who he was and I told him they were kind of seeing each other, and he joked that he wouldn't have a shot anyway since the guy was black.

    Another friend of mine is generally more attracted to black guys than she is white guys, but has told me previously that she couldn't bring one home because she didn't think her parents would approve.

    I'm sorry that you're having poor luck, and it's not fair by any means, but that doesn't mean there aren't girls out there that are interested.

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What Girls Said 8

  • Black men ,especially African American men, are the most harshly and negatively stereotyped race of men. There are many negative stereotypes and social views towards black men and more black men are proving them right than there are black men proving them wrong. So because of that, the stereotypes stay strong.

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  • for one I think that cupid is wrong. I don't believe that it matters what race you are. but that's just me.

    for one I always hear my friends saying that they like black males better. So I don't have very much say. Also how is your profile? is there any interesting stuff up there. Like I said on my last comment. (on previous Q) you need some interest because there is still that factor.

    but I did some research on OkCupid and it may be true (I still don't like it though.)

    I don't see why it would be hard though. Your pretty cute and have you thought that your going for the wrong types of girls? that could also be a factor.

    hope it helps. :P

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  • All honesty, I feel like it's about the way you present yourself. I've dated many different people among other races. I've also tried the whole online dating.. frankly, online I tend to lean toward talking to white men. It's not that I wouldn't consider talking to a person of another race, it's more that I might stereo-type them as being 'safe' personality wise. If it was outside of online dating I'd be much more apt toward other races- given, I'd have the opportunity to see the way they hold them self without a preexisting bias of stereotyping.

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  • apparently white girls who date black-men are overly exposed and promiscuous lol. I have a preference too and it has nothing to do with race since I am black girl. I am just not attracted to gigantic ego and sadly lots of black men have that. well white guys too. I also hate that durag thing, I mean I had an ex who wore it and I swore I told him if he wore that when he was out with me I'd stab him LOL

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  • Probably black male stereotypes. Or maybe the girls on there prefer white guys? I'm not sure. I don't buy into the stereotypes though, most of my black male friends are really nice guys.

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  • I don't think it has anything to do with your ethnicity in the dating scene...

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  • Well...

    There are still some problems with racial acceptance in our society. Although it is less in the Northeast it is stronger elsewhere.

    My parents seem to think that if I date a black guy I will be looked down upon in society because I couldn't find a nice white man to marry. There are lots of negative racial stereotypes that I am sure you know about, and some people blindly believe all of them and apply them. My mother also worries what my grandparents would think. Older people usually don't accept things like that as much.

    When I was dating my ex (who is black) another interracial couple came up and gave us high-fives for being interracial. Me and my boyfriend found it out of place- the high-five shows there is something that is not completely accepted yet - there was something odd about us as a couple that made the other couple do that.

    Overall, yes. There is sometimes a stigma placed on women who date black men and it can be more or less depending on where you live and who you are talking to.

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  • Yes, but it never stopped me. I'll be honest I received a lot of flack for dating a black guy. Girls ask more questions, and guys are really really mean about it. I think they're insecure and worry that if a girl's dated a black guy before, she'll never think he's as good in bed or has a big penis compared to the black guy. Guys are super insecure about anything to do with sex, and what are black guys praised the most for? Sexual qualities. You do the math. Girls like me could give a sh*t, but some girls have trouble overcoming it. Black women don't have a problem with it for the most part though.

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What Guys Said 2

  • For some people yes. For the majority of people no.

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  • Honestly? There's a common negative view on black/white dating.

    White guys dating black girls? It's well known that the family and friends of the girl--and black guys in general, will very much dislike seeing a white guy dating a black girl. And the white guy will be looked at a big negatively by his own family/friends as well, sometimes.

    White girl dating black guy? Her family will probably look at it badly. Also, his family/friends will look at the guy poorly for dating white.

    At least, that's my experience here. Maybe in the northern states it's different.

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