My date tells me he is a sexual person?

I met a great guy almost 2 weeks ago and we are dating. we've been having a blast together! Just today he told me that he is finding it harder than he thought to balance talking to 2 people at the same time.."I like you and want to give you more effort."i told him basically that I like him too. He says "I just don't want to waste your time" I asked him why would he say that, "us not hanging out or talking as much..and I'm really sexual"

In my mind that meant that he likes me enough to be in a relationship but is going to cheat because he can. Am I right

We have been dating so I don't expect to be the only one yet because I'm not his girlfriend. Its difficult because we really liked each other but I can't take the possibility of him cheating esp since I've been cheated on before in past relationships. I know from experience, that I can't do anything about it or change him.

Updates:
When he first said it, it didn't register to me yet. He has never rushed me into having sex even when he's had the opportunity. I only have sex with someone I'm in a relationship with. I told him "not to rush it with me until you're ready."

0|0
2|7

Most Helpful Girl

  • Lol no, he's trying to coerce you into sleeping with him. That basically this "other girl" (if there is one) is putting out, and that he won't hang out or talk with you as much if you don't do that. I've honestly never had a guy try to push me in this manner, or be so sneaky about it, but that's what he's trying to do.

    Your best bet is to say, "hey listen, I can see this must be really hard for you, and if you think you'll probably hurt me and waste my time, lets just stop talking, ok?" His plan will be shattered. Don't let liking him stop you from getting what you deserve or force you to do things you're not comfortable with. All guys are 'really sexual.' He's not as great of a guy as you think.

    1|1
    0|0
    • Re:Update That's probably why he said it. Because he's growing impatient, and his way of moving you along is to threaten you by saying he's talking to other girls and will be a waste of your time potentially because he's such a sexual person. I'd honestly take him at his word and tell him to focus on this other girl instead of you. He'll stop pushing you and get his head on straight. You need to establish early on whether you're the kind of girl he wants to date, or rush sex with.

    • Thank you. When he first said it my first impression was that he likes me and wants to be with me but knows that he is a sexual person. He is telling me that to either cover his ass if we got in a relationship or telling me that he's no good for me because he knows how I feel about it. You think I should walk away right?

    • I think it was a lot sneakier than all that. He was basically trying to get his way (sex) without feeling guilty for it. I do think you should walk away, or at the very least, show he has no hold on you. A girl that can walk away at any time if the deal he puts on the table doesn't work for her, is a strong girl. I can't promise he'll magically want a relationship, but chances are much better he'll respect you and maybe change his approach. Only if you still want a guy like that though.

What Guys Said 7

  • The AU below me has the right idea. You say you are attracted to alpha-male types, who obviously have charisma and good looks. Well, who wouldn't be? It's just like guys being attracted to supermodels: duh!

    But just like so many guys get used by really attractive women for their money, or get cheated on by them, a really attractive guy with lots of options is probably going to take advantage of the fact that he CAN so easily cheat. Why do you think you are always reading about actors, athletes, and musicians constantly cheating, even though they may be dating some super-hot woman? For those guys, it doesn't matter how hot the woman is at home; the temptation of other, "new" women throwing themselves at him is too much to resist. This type of guy isn't going to be "tamed" by any woman, and any woman who thinks she will is going to end up getting hurt.

    If this is the guy you tend to go for, then, yes, you do need to re-evaluate your choices. People tend to pick the same type of people over and over again in relationships, and are then "surprised" when they keep having the same problems over and over as well. The problem isn't the other people, it's YOU (the one choosing that type of person again and again). Once you realize this, you can make better choices, and vastly increase your chances of success and happiness.

    0|0
    0|0
  • sounds to me like he is trying to intimate that sex is something he is looking for. Generally when a guy says he's a sexual person = horny. That's fine in and of itself as long as you don't feel pressure to have sex before you'r ready.

    i don't think he's trying to say he's going to cheat (besides is it really cheating if the understanding is that he's "talking" to more than one person?) but it does sound like he's looking for sex... I guess his mindset is hopefully I'll mention sex, hopefully she'll feel the same and then I can change this into a one horse race. Make sense?

    good luck!

    0|1
    0|0
    • exactly what I was thinking lol his way of asking her if she is willing to have sex with him.

  • He is basically fishing for a relationship where he can do other girls as well, so if you go near this guy for anything more than friendship, then you are setting yourself up for a world of hurt, because this guy does not respect you in a way you deserve to be respected, he just wants to use you for sex as he thinks your quite a catch, but that's it, sex and more sex, nothing that a real relationship would bring, so be warned, he has spoken about his intentions, if you take them, then your daft,x

    0|0
    0|0
  • i think what he's saying is. "lets have sex". You lead with you only have sex with people your in a relationship with. You need to take your "im gonna cheat on you goggles". The guy is trying to have sex with you. not other girls. But just to be sure. You can ask him. If that is what he meant. Is he saying he want to have sex with other women, Or if he is reduced to having sex with other women because your not having sex with him.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Have you stopped to consider you might be attracted to players given your past relationships and this current guy's behavior?

    0|1
    0|0
    • No, but that's a good point.

    • Show All
    • In past relationships I never asked to be their girlfriend or tried to pin them down. I'm glad he's honest but it is very disappointing as well. I think I'm attracted to masculine "alpha" males and that's my problem.

    • Stop hanging around them so much and learn to tweak your attraction, otherwise you're going to be used and cheated on in the future.

  • This guy is sketchy, and an idiot. I think he's trying to figure out which girl will be willing to have sex with him in the shortest amount of time. He was testing to see how you might react to his "sexual" comment

    0|1
    0|0
  • Sounds like the other chick is putting out and he's basically saying to you "Hey, put out soon or I'm not sticking around." It's also about the commitment thing too, but I think that part was secondary in this instance.

    0|1
    0|0

What Girls Said 1

  • THAT GUY IS A PLAYER...I like you...but I don't want to waste your time...I'm a sexual person.' AHH PUHLEAZE. This guy is in fact telling you that you either should start having sex with him now or else he's gone. He's PLAYING YOU and PUSHY. Don't like him,don't like him at all girl. If he's dating another, he's probably sleeping with her/him by now! You're on the side lines. He wants what he can get from you...

    EWW and double EWW. Wear protection if you EVER think of going any further! Wear two condoms if I were YOU!

    0|0
    0|0
Loading...