Why do guys loose interest when girls show interest too soon?

How come guys loose interest if you show interest too soon?

It also confuses a girl when a guy comes on so strong during the first month and then backs off.

I have no problems attracting a guy. Just transitioning dating to relationship.

Any good tips for next time I start dating again because I really do not want to fall into the friends with benefits trap like I did with the last guy.

Updates:
Really did not want things to turn out that way! I told him I did not want casual after the first month and he still kept pursuing me till I became more upfront about what I wanted after seeing more red flags and he ended up ending it.


I felt like I got deceived because he still kept pursing me after I told him earlier on I did not want casual.


I do not want to be in this situation again.
Least it only lasted two and a half months. Still would like to avoid being in this position in the future. This is what I get for not wanting to put pressure on the guy. Roll eyes.


Did not even tell him I wanted to be in a relationship. Just did not friends with benefits and to waste my time if it was not going to go anywhere.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • The entire "where's it going" conversation is like nails on a chalkboard for a lot of guys. You can't force a relationship from day one. I like to let things grow naturally. If why ou are dating you are taking the risk that things may not work out. Just go with the flow, I wouldn't even bring up the idea of "not wanting to be involved in anything casual". It makes a person seem pressed and anxious. Those people usually think too much, read too much into everything. It just createst tension. I wouldn't even discuss the possibility of a relationship until after maybe 3 months of dating at the very least.

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    • Even if you guys were only dating once a week? Sometimes I did not even get that.

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    • Once a week is standard for early in a relationship. How often would you think that you should be going out with him?

    • Not sure but sometimes hear people see each other more then that.

What Guys Said 2

  • What is too fast is different for everyone. If it is love at first sight is not too fast even at the first date. Some guys behave badly even if they receive after one year. Do not fret about it too much. The relationship is important. I don't understand the concept FWB. Such a relationship is unacceptable to me.

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    • Even if he cancelled on me last minute every time I was the one that made plans?

    • Oops sorry wrong post. LoL.

  • He probably thought you were too uptight about being NON casual and ended it.

    It would be like if a man constantly said on a date that he's always worried about his money.

    Its good that he's worried about his money, but bad that its all he talks about.

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    • Over something so little. I was just being careful because I did not want to be used for sex and I only had mentioned it twice. Not all the time.

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    • maybe it was the way you said it?

    • It was all over text. LoL. I just did not appreciate being jerked around. That's all. I did not wanna pressure him but at the same time I did not wanna be treated that way either.

What Girls Said 1

  • Have you texted him alot? or come too strong while he's not ready?

    he could be backing up a little because he felt he's not ready..

    I'm a girl, but personally it's a turn off when a guy I'm dating contact me too much.

    It seems he has nothing going on his life... well I personally like busy hardworking guys and I try to keep myself pretty busy so maybe you feel different..

    I'm not telling you to play hard to get..well maybe ha ha

    but it works better when you show you are not always availabe 24/7.

    You can still show him how much you are interested when you see him in person.

    while you are not, focus on your life don't contact him too much.

    text him once a day or two is fine (when he replys you promptly and you know he likes you) ..but few times a day, unless you guys are texting back and forth, that's too much.

    just enjoy your time with the guy and don't bring out about exclusive first,unless he's hinting or you know for sure he's so into you. if a guy likes you that much, he will eventually bring it, thinking about it before you do.

    if he hasn't that means he's still not sure. and you don't want to pressure a guy while he doesn't know what to do.

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    • No I did not send texts. He was the one who was pursuing me the whole time. He always rang first and sent texts first. Not every day, every couple of days.

      It was hard to be unavailable at times when I only saw him once a week. Even when we were close to getting to the three month mark I was still seeing him once a week.

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