Wants to bring her friend on a date?

I met a girl on an online dating site and we have hit it off very well. I am 32 and she is 22 but seems to know what she is looking for and is very career and family oriented, much like myself. There is a ton of chemistry. We have been chatting over text and phone calls and we are supposed to go on a date this Saturday. She says she wants to bring a friend because of an issue she had with a person that was stalking her. I'm OK with having a trust issue at first, but should I just go ahead and let her bring a friend with her? I was hoping for a nice, romantic time, but this kinda kills it for me. Any help or advice is much appreciated.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Well, maybe you could suggest that you bring a friend as well? That way at least you can have some alone time with her and get to know her a bit without it being awkward.

    I've done many online dates and it can be hard when you have the first in real life meeting. Some people get scared and it makes them feel better to bring a friend. I did to the first one I went to, but after that I decided to just meet in a public place.

    Really it is kind of sucky to have other people around, it makes it hard to get to know the person and really talk. The only thing you can really do is hope she changes her mind and decides to meet up with you on her own or that you can find a friend to bring to help make it not so awkward.

    Try to plan a fun activity that you guys can connect but still chat. We did mini golf.

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What Girls Said 22

  • Yeah I'd bring a friend too if I met someone online. Well I have before, and yes I did bring a friend but let's just say the guy never knew... My friend sat at the table across from my date and I just to make sure everything was safe and sound. Woops haha... Call me a weirdo ;) But yes I would bring a friend just because it is comforting and a safety incase the guy is some weird rapist.

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    • thats super smart lol id probably do the same thing peopleate so scary, but at the sametime you don't wasn't to miss out call me crazy but that's smart

  • I'd be hesitant too if I were you, but if you guys have great chemistry already, the romance can wait. I'd take the hit and just look forward to future one-on-one time, after she's comfortable.

    Answer my question please?

    link

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  • If a guy had an issue with it I'd cut him off immediately. If he's really interested in getting to know me, he would respect my desire for personal safety and understand that you have to be careful in a situation like this. If it really will work out as well as you hope and with the intents you imply, there will be plenty of time in later dates to focus on romance. If she matters to you, you should respect her desire to work on the safe side. There is no rush if the chemistry is truly there.

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  • If you really like this girl then of course let her bring a friend. She is only thinking about her safety. You have to be really cautious at meeting anyone online. Also shows she;s mature enough to have thought of this. You will have plenty more dates to be romantic.

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  • Of course she can (and should) bring a friend.

    Women today have to be extremely cautious - it's an incredibly scary world out there. I have had a stalker, I've been abused, I've almost been the victim of an attack on a college campus. These things do happen. You see it in the news more frequently than people want to admit. Not that it never happens to men too, but women are definitely more at risk. Going out to meet a stranger always has a level of risk to it, no matter where you met.

    You met online. You're still technically strangers and she's being very smart and safe about it. You're 32 - you should be mature enough to respect that she's being cautious. Like some other people have mentioned, maybe ask her if she'd be okay with you bringing a friend as well? Then it won't be quite as awkward as just having a third wheel along. She may not be comfortable with that either, but it can't hurt to ask.

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  • She is worried, you might seem like an amazing guy but what if your a serial killer? Have you heard of the craigslist killer? Some people get sexually assaulted on dates too. Its so dangerous now and you are ten years older than her. Its a comfort and safety thing if you turn out to be crazy she has someone to help her.

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  • Some girls are nervous. I would let her bring the friend... who knows, you could connect more with the friend. This gives you more of a chance that you might click with one of them. You can have great chemistry with someone over the phone but the date can be very flat in person. You could vibe better with the friend...just sayin' ya never know. Besides, she is 22 and it might be fun to be able to flirt with 2 women at one time. You can use this to your advantage, you can play them off each other. What I mean is, play the charismatic host and if the friend likes you, you are a shoe in. You should go for it. You look like a fun guy ..why not?

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  • i think that she wants to make sure that if you turn out to be a freak that she has someone to keep her company so to speak. I'm sure you aren't a freak but I think that's just a way of protecting herself.

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  • your so... much older than her.. she prob isn't use to a guy your age and is bringing a friend incase she wants an easy escape.. she's going to create more of a chalenge for you than a guy closer in age to her

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  • i think it's reasonable for her to put her safety first. a girl needs to be extra cautious if meeting an online guy for the first time. it may be a bit awkward, yes, but if you can gain her trust you'll have your chance to be with only her. why not bring your friend so you can kind of double date? I think it'll help to create a more relaxing atmosphere.

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  • I think it's understandable she wants to bring a friend, though maybe it could become less uncomfortable if that friend brings a friend, so it's more like a double date instead, just an idea, best wishes(:

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  • Sounds like she has had some bad experiences. So she needs a chaperon. I find this very quaint, and old fashion. It is a first date, she is just feel more comfortable with a friend along when she checks you out to see if you are boyfriend material. I would not sweat it, go with it, hey why don't you bring a friend also. It should be fun.

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  • ohnoooo with the age but you know its love so numbers don't, matter anyways I think you should g o with it nd then ask her say uhh do you trust me now can we go in a romantic dinner together just nd nd you and if she don't trust you , you should not go out with someone that don't trust you .you should have a relationship built in trust

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  • It's a chatline nothing wrong with her keeping her guard up at first :)

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  • i would let her come the girls got issues

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  • She wants her friend there for moral support. I'm sure your a cool guy and all but it never hurts to be careful.

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  • There will be PLENTY future chances for a romantic time.

    The very first meeting off of an internet match-up is not really even a date. It's more like an inspection.

    There is something about meeting men off the internet that is just more scary for girls.

    If you like her say yes and then the next time the friend will not come along.

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  • Getting romantic on a first date? Your still a stranger !

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  • I met a guy off the internet before, I'm 23 and he is 37. The first time I met him I brought a friend with, even thought I had been chatting with him for a year.

    I brought a friend firstly because I had never met a person off the internet before. Also, I would have been very uncomfortable.

    I think it is completely understandable- so you should bring a friend too!

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  • It is understandable if she has never met you in person before.

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  • I think that is smart for online dating, you could never be too sure who you are meeting...

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  • Yeah. Make sure she's comfortable

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What Guys Said 5

  • Ya it totally sucks and there have been a few times in my life when I first met a girl and she brought along a friend. It was not an official date per se. But some chicks are like that...so I say roll with it. Plus she wants a second opinion from her female friend about you . Stupid ik but some chicks are like that.

    I say if you really like the girl then definitely go with her even if she does bring a friend. Who knows maybe you'll wind up liking the friend more or if they both dig you cansuggest a menage a trois. lol. Can you imagine?

    Or you can bring a single buddy with the 2 girls and kind of make it a double date-less awkward maybe. But ya if that is your only alternative then let her bring the friend.

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  • There are a LOT of very peculiar characters online...i say let her bring her friend for safety purposes. Her friends, or her herself, probably have some horror stories about meeting people online.

    For HER sake, comfort, and safety, let her bring her friend when she's meeting you for the first time.

    Once she realizes you're not a peculiar character, THEN you can sprinkle in some romance on future meetings. :)

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  • if she brings a friend you should do the same a friend too, make sure he(or she) is one that can talk her friend into leaving you two alone ;)

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  • awkward !

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  • Let her? Seriously? She of course should bring her friend just to be safe and you sir are an ass to even question it. If you care about her then you would let one date not be so romantic and let her fears be out to rest. I wish she could see this question of yours.

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