Have you Dated a Narcissist?

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My ex was one, and I had no idea..


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I did. We just broke up a few months ago. For the most part you have no idea because they show you their false self, they become everything you've ever wanted in a mate and stop at almost nothing to impress you. Once they've determined that you've fallen deeply in love with them they feel that they have control over you. As time goes on though their false self starts fading away and the real person starts to show which is NOTHING like the person they showed you in the beginning.

    At this point you now their emotional bunching bag and you are the reason for all the problems and issue that come up in the relationship. I mean of course you're selfish for wanting them to love you, spend time with you, and treat you with respect, who in their right mind would want that out of a relationship?! Amazingly narcissists have an amazing way of making everything your fault even when they were CLEARLY in the wrong. They even have this crazy way of making you somehow apologize for something that they did wrong! These people stop at nothing to make you feel worthless and broken. They project all of their feelings onto you, leaving you to carry all of it around while confused and hurt.

    The best thing that you can do with a narcissist is to leave them alone. If possible cut all ties from them, that includes texts, phone calls, emails, and seeing them in person. I'm not sure if you have done research on them but I would recommend that you do. I recently started seeing a therapist to help me through this because he really left me thinking that I was crazy.

    I hope the best for you with recovering from your relationship with a narcissist!

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    • Interesting response. So did your narcissist ex never take any of the blame at all?

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    • I have had this experience too. Broke up 6 months ago after 2 years of hell! Feel 90% better but there is still 10% that traumatizes me. Do you think they knew from the start that they would never really be with you forever. Do you think they knew fully that their intention was just to manipulate you to keep around for a while perhaps because they were bored or lonely. Do you think they knew they would eventually break up with you even in the idiolisation phase.

    • I doubt that they go in thinking all of that. Their main concern is how you benefit them and their image. They expect you to worship the ground they walk on and to cater to all their needs forgoing your own because hey they don't really matter. They are unable to feel emotions like regular people, they imitate them to the best of their abilities. They suck the life out of you to try to make a life meaningful for them. They have no feelings at all. So basically to answer all of your questions no.

What Girls Said 2

  • I have had a full on relationship with a narcissist (a rather cerebral one) so he was not so obvious to me initially because he was not as vain or outwardly uphimself it was a lot more coverted and he manipulated me through his intelligence rather than through goodlooks and charisma. I find somatic narcissists are more likely to be alpha male so it is more easier to detect straight away. However, looking back it is incredibly obvious any narcissist once you know them a few weeks and you know what to look for its like wow hello how did I fall for it with my ex. I think its a lack of awareness. If people have never been played by a sick twisted individual they do not realise the lack of conscience and empathy and heart of some so just assume and take on guilt and are easily manipulated because they just dont assume someone is intentionally lying to them.
    I also dated a narcissist but it the idiolisation, dev and disc phases happened within a few months so it was much less painful then 2 years. Honestly it can be a good thing, life gives you the same lessons until you learn them. If you didn't learn it with your ex you would have with someone else. Just remember though that narcissists come in different shapes and forms. Not every narcissist is going to be like your ex some are more subtle some are very clever and they pray on NEED. If you are feeling like you miss something in your life or need someone to complete any aspect of your emotional or physical life you will be prey to players/ narcissists.

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  • pretty sure I have, and I was friends with one too, he wanted to date me also but I said no

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What Guys Said 2

  • I was engaged to one (a woman.) She was hard work & I never knew what one was until after she tried to strangle me twice that I found out she was probably a Narcissist with a mental disorder.

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  • Yup. It wasn't worth it. We were off and on for a few years. She dumped me a bunch of times, and cheated on me once. It was excruciating, and when she would come crawling back because she was lonely and had no friends, I'd always take her back. Well after years of getting abandoned, I finally acted out. She hung me in public, took no accountability for herself, and she broke up with me. She's shown me zero empathy and I'm finally free. I hope she calls me in the future so I can tell her ass off. If you see the signes, men and women alike, run like hell. There's only pain waiting for you.

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