Guys - Any signs that he's using me?

This guy recently started talking to me, and I cannot help but like him. Problem is, I know his past, hasn't been a good guy to other girls. He just used them up, he isn't a relationship person.

But he is treating me well (from what I can tell). Texts me every day, he always texts me first, and I can tell that he wants to keep talking but sometimes struggles with keeping the conversation going. He kissed me on the forehead the other day...talks about me with his friends (I don't know what he says). He wants to "hang out" sometime, but I'm worried it will turn only into a hook up.

I just want to know if I'm missing something. Like I said, he in the past was kind of a man-whore/a**hole. Is he being sweet just to reel me in, how do I know if it's genuine?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • That depends on his reasons for sleeping around before. If he was genuinely using them, or if he was trying to play them, genuinely being a scumbag, then chances are, he's still the same ol' scumbag you know by reputation. I mean what are the chances that he suddenly sees the power of love since he met you, and has since turned over a new leaf, ready to settle down and be a good guy with YOU? Slim to none I imagine.

    Don't get me wrong. You're probably a great girl. You might even be totally awesome. However, the point I am making is not about how great you are, but rather how a scumbag doesn't generally change his behavior . Not for a long time. Maybe not even ever. I'm telling you not to get your hopes up. I know this question was about giving you signs you can use to tell if he's a player or not, but frankly these signs don't exist. If there was a way to tell if he was genuine, players would fake that too.

    I'm afraid you'll have to trust your gut on this one. Maybe use your head too. I wouldn't recommend trusting him. Sorry.

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What Guys Said 3

  • Unfortunately people are not going to change that fast. He is still the same user. I will tell you to get some distance from him because it seems that he already has a plan and you are on his list. Start talking to other people and keep yourself free from trouble. You don't deserve to be another of his girls so GET OUT OF HIS WAY. Good luck!

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  • Don't go for the a**hole like all the other girls, go for a good guy who won't use you.

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  • You control you and you only will hurt yourself and not him

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What Girls Said 1

  • Predict the future by looking at the past.

    If he's used and abused girls as you say, he likely knows exactly what to say to you to get what he wants. Tread lightly!

    The only times a guy as brought up his past when we started dating and said he changed, the guys did exactly what they said they wouldn't do.

    One told me he used to have anger management issues, got help and reformed... let me tell you, the last thing he ever said to me was "you better smarten up right now before I send someone over to your house to teach you a lesson."

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