Great guy, loser family. Should I go out with him?

My really good friend told me a while back that he liked me. Although he's not someone I'd normally go for, he has a lot going for him. He's a really hard worker, has an amazing sense of humor, is easy to be around, and just over all makes me happy.

But I've never been one just to date for the sake of it, a long term relationship kind of girl.. So thinking in that way: He takes a lot of care of his family who are (for lack of a better word..) losers, basically he's going to need to be helping them out for the rest of his life. And I really don't want to be the witchy chick that steals him away because they're holding him down. His family is really nice, but extremely quiet and awkward.. They also aren't motivated at all and can't/don't support themselves.

So, great guy, lame family. Do I date him?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Nope, you should not date him because you are a judgmental bitch and such a good guy with so much going for him deserves a better female than that. You need to get off your high horse and act like you are in some all mighty position to be judging his family. You don't know his family's history and why they are the way they are. It is completely insensitive and ugly for you to call them losers simply for being "extremely quiet and awkward". You don't know the situation behind their lack of self support. You're a judgmental bitch and you should go find a judgmental guy, not an awesome guy. So no, don't date him.

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    • And you're not a judgmental bitch? I've known him and his family for most of our life's, I do know how they are and how controlling his mother is. I'm constantly around them which is why I can tell you honestly how they are. ANYONE who knows him will tell you the same thing. His family is a very big thing to him which is why they're important to think about while deciding. Although you're completely and totally tactless.. you're probably right, I shouldn't go out with him. Thanks for your opinion

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    • @QA, I'm far from a judgmental bitch :) I just gave my opinion like you asked; you don't deserve him if you're the type of person who wants to hear about someone?s ?loser family? instead of live through it with them and support them. You sound like an ass

    • Omg give this chick BA and the chick above you ^

What Guys Said 5

  • Don't date him. For the sake of wasting his time. A girl that can't accept a guy's family is just trash.

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  • So because his family are losers that affects you how? What a silly question. You'll be with him most of the time if you do date and you'd probably not interact with them at all. If you're really struggling to decide on asking him out about his family, maybe you shouldn't.

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    • It will affect them down the road when they are trying to build a family, but have to take care of his parents, brothers, sisters, nephews, and nieces along with all of the drama.

      Run or move far far away.

  • Everyone's family is crazy from the outside if that stand in e way f dating someone who has proven he is all of the qualities you listed than it shouldn't matter

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  • Your skepticism is valid If his family is going to effect his decision making and finances if he were to have an exclusive relationship with you.

    Its quite intriguing how some of the others implied that you should date him despite of his loser relatives. However, I've read so many posts on this site where people have advised differently if a guy/girl supports kids from a previous relationship.

    Finances matter. It's one of the main reasons why people divorce or separate.

    Don't date him.

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  • trust me, dating him will only bring you trouble later. better not to.

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What Girls Said 5

  • You're right you shouldn't date him. He deserves way better then you. He sounds like a great guy who is very loving, giving, and kind. You should be happy that you found someone so special like he is that so selflessly takes care of his family. Instead you contemplate not dating him cause his family's a bunch of lame losers who are too quiet and awkward for your taste.You stepping aside cause you don't wanna put up w his "loser" family will lead the way for him to find someone truly great, so you would just be doing him a huge favor in the long run:)

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    • 3boys4me why are you bi?

    • Uhhhhhh what the hell does that have to do w anything? Lol totally random. Feel free to comment on my answers juts make sure it's relevant to the discussion, k? :D

  • Why wouldn't you? Why would you let a his family stop you from potentially having a great relationship?

    I don't think who/what the family is should have any bearing whatsoever on your decision.

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  • Well ultimately it's up to what you want. If you want a relationship where your and his family are very involved, then maybe he isn't the best for you. Are you talking dating him long term? Because if you are, then there a lot of things to consider. If you have very strong feelings for him, and if you feel his family would hold him as well as you back, that's not what you want in a relationship. He sounds like a great guy, and even more so for helping his family out! I see some of your commenters are being really harsh on you, but I think this is a valid question. Go for it if you he is someone exceptional, who you think can really make you happy. Sometimes you have to suck it up for someone you have the potential to go a long way with. If you don't feel you have that strong of a connection, and you feel that his family would end up driving you away from him, then don't waste your time. Simple as that :)

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  • u should never judge someone by their family or friends, just look at them as an individual sometimes people are different from their families, everyone has a dysfunctional family with secrets but that doesn't mean the guy or girl can't be great

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  • Have you ever heard of the saying, if you have to ask then... Most likely you shouldn't be with him.

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