Emails I've been sending out on online dating sites

So these are the types of 1st emails I've been sending out on online dating sites with absolutely no responses:

Hey hows it going? I like your profile so I thought I'd say hi! I like your first date idea too! So I noticed that you're into movies like me! what's your favorite one? Mine would have to be bridesmaids. I love me some comedy! What genre(s) are you into? Well feel free to check out my profile and let me know if you'd like to chat a bit more.

Would you respond to this email? Also could you maybe tell me (in your opinion) why do you think this is a horrible 1st email and maybe what I should do differently to get responses please? Thank you in advance for any feedback!

  • Yes I would respond
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  • No I wouldn't resond (please give explanation)
    60% (3)100% (4)78% (7)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Subject line: If this subjec line catches your attention...

    Body: Now that I have your attention on my email (cheap trick, I know), how do you feel about socks? chewing gum? Alright it's lame...but what's a guy gotta say to be unique and catch your attention? What brings you to the dating site? Looking for a dream guy? A fun fling? Forever man?

    -Catch her attention first, however that may be, in the subject line...

    -Be quirky/ good humored

    -Compliment

    -Inquire about her in general to initiate convo.

    -Hope for a spark.

    It really boils down to personality compatibility. (;

    My boyfriend had it much easier. I happened to click on his message...it was pretty simple. After that, I read his profile where he'd mentioned movies he liked. I responded, including a line from a movie he' mentioned and we hit it off pretty immediately and still do. We went out on a date that week and 3 dates quickly after until we agreed that we both thought we'd do well in a relationship because it fit so well already.

    You just keep messaging.

    Most guys told me they barely got responses. My boyfriend said something early on about he was shocked I'd responded.

    Girls in general tend to be flooded. 100+ messages a day can be overwhelming and even disconcerting...knowing how many potentially good messages you're missing. Finding tha much time and attention is impossible, so you eventually start looking for subject lines that stand out and hoping you don't skip the wrong one over lack of interesting subject line.

    Good luck! Hope you find someone! ^__^

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    • Oh and it was PoF for us. I went on there because I didn't really know anyone I'd met to be 'my type'...so I was just looking to meet new people to broaden the spectrum. My boyfriend had the site recommended. (He now does the recommending. (; )

What Girls Said 10

  • I would respond if we had enough things in common and I thought you were attractive. I would say tone down the exclamation points a bit, and take out the third sentence. In one email just point out one thing you have in common/want to talk about. That's my advice :)

    (This is also way better than 90% of the ones I get, if that makes you feel better)

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  • Sometimes personal messages are better, I don't do online dating but many of my friends do. Normally to catch someones attention they make a funny or witty coment about a specific thing that they liked about the persons page. Seems to get responses. Sometimes people don't want a generic greeting, try something customized and original, and humour is huge.

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    • I completely understand that but ever email I send out is based on an interest in their profile. Like the whole movie thing was in regards to her putting movies as one of her interests.

    • Oh and for the record, this email was sent to a girl that said she wanted to meet me.

  • I think your email reads like it is pushy and desperate too. If I where to get this e-mail from you I don't think I would respond very well to it. May I offer this as a first email option?

    Hi how are you? I was reading your profile and saw we had some common interests. For example we both like movies. Is there a movie you can't wait to see? I really enjoy comedies what types of films do you like? Feel free to check my profile out and I hope to hear back from you.

    You are asking a few questions for that person to answer, but just making them ice breakers. Don't use the first date thing as common ground. You also, should save what films you like for the next email or if you meet. If you need anymore help let me know :)

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    • Thank you so much! :) But I thought you were supposed to keep the first emails really short.

  • I have like ... NO experience with online dating BUUUT, I think it's a bit too much, and too long.

    I don't want to know your life story in one single email. It seems desperate, and trust me - NO GIRL likes the smell of desperation, even though you're not desperate, that kind of email makes it seem like you are.



    Bottom line: SHORTEN IT DOWN! :)

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    • How does it imply desperation? In my opinion Its just a basic observation on a mutual interest in the form of an ice breaker designed to get her talking about her interests.

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    • Ive done that so many times with no luck, and I've been told that you need to impress the hell out of her with the first email by saying something that has an out of this world charming factor just to get her to give you the time of day, but maybe I should just keep trying and not get discouraged. Thank you for your feed back! :)

    • :) I've thought about it. Try to charm her. If she's logged on, go with: "Now, what's a good looking girl like you doing here at this hour?" or something. take the rest from there :) Good luck to you :)

  • i would want the email to feel like he took the time to look at my profile specifically and made some type of connection there.

    ive been told that you should not send the same resume to every job you apply for... you need to tailor it based on what position is advertised...same with the girls.

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  • yea it's friendly, I might respond... but only if I were really bored, I'm just not too into online dating in general..

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  • They either don't find you attractive or found your profile boring/didn't connect with anything you said. Also, I suspect a lot of profiles on dating sites are fake to attract male users. If she seems like she's too attractive to have trouble finding a date, then it's probably a fake profile and you aren't gonna get a response.

    But if it is a real profile, she may just not be interested. I had a profile on a website up for about 2 weeks. I'd say I'm a cute girl, not super hot but maybe closer to average lol and I got tons of messages. I wasn't about to reply to each and every guy who messaged me so I only replied to a few that I really really liked. And I will be honest but they were the guys who were hot in their profile pics or seemed like they had high incomes. The thing about dating sites, is that unless a girl is really desperate and unattractive (then you wouldn't have messaged her right?) she's gonna have so many options that you really have to stand out for her to be interested. I'd suggest meeeting girls in real life

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  • I wouldn't respond. That sounds too rushed, almost like yore tying to say too much in a short amount of time

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    • I don't understand. How is that a bad thing?

  • Id try and sound a little sexy, because personally I think a lot of [people on dating sites are there for the attention., so, to get a girls attention you could say something like, Hi, how are you doing today? ;) make it simple and send a pic along with it.

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    • Yeah that's what I've heard but what I can't seem to make any sense of is that most of the girls I try and talk to probably get dozens of guys trying to talk to them on a daily basis so why would they need to get attention from a web site? Also another thing I've been told is to never just say hi how are you today because I guess in some convoluted backwards way it implies that your either a pervert or just looking for a one night stand or that would be too easy of a way to start a convo.

  • Honestly, on dating sites, what matters the most, is your picture. If a girl doesn't like your photo she isn't likely to respond, no matter how great your message is. However, writing a personalised message is always better than sending out some copy & paste thing to everyone who happens to be online.

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    • Well here's the profile and picture in question: link (goodbye anonymity) And as far as the email I send out it, is based on an interest in her profile. Like the whole movie thing was in regards to her putting movies as one of her interests.



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    • I understand that you should be smiling in your pictures, but is that a big deal? I don't look all that good when I smile for a picture :'(

    • It doesn't have to be a huge smile or anything, just a friendlier look on the face. In your current pictures you look a bit uncomfortable and like you'd rather not have your pic taken. I tell you, don't underestimate the power of good pictures on dating sites. Sure it's shallow, but it's the way it is.

What Guys Said 4

  • girls generally don't respond to those messages if your an average looking guy with an average job and so on . they get so many messages they'd likely only reply back to the most incredible guys of the 100 or so emails there getting each week if there good looking girls . anyways its really hard getting replies on dating sites so good luck with that search ts gonna be a tough one

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    • Bull! I didn't look for someone like that. I looked at their personality. Genuinely. The ones listing their high profile careers and exhorbant lifestyles and high gym attendance are FAR more annoying. They come off like they're filling out a resume. It was gross.

    • i meant to include average personality in my answer as well , guys with a better than average personality would do better with online dating than average guys

  • My experiences and testing of online dating tell me its incredibly difficult for guys. Women get bombarded with messages, if they are decent they get more than they could reply to even if they wanted to. Also I wouldn't get too hung up on what to say as the way you look is far more important, having said that it probably helps to point something out about her or her profile as it will show that you aren't just sending that message to every girl on there. Just keep in mind you are always going to have a really low response rate unless you are a male model.

    In short, its easier to meet women in real life.

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    • this is so true, men do have such a hard time getting responses for some reason or another, no matter how good looking they are. good answer!

    • I still wouldn't say it's entirely looks but it helps to look at least decent. Outside of that, it's usually a matter of getting their attention among the massive amounts they receive.

    • Its about 95% looks and 5% luck. From creating fake profiles to test with I've discovered what you say, your profile, your income and everything else has very little impact on your response rate. However using a picture of male model as your profile picture changes everything. You can be really direct and sexual and the women will still want to meet. You can even go the extremes of being unemployed, angry, depressed and bitter, they will still want to meet.

  • There's four guys online for every girl. Your messages aren't the problem. You're probably not in the top ten percent of looks or income online. Search around the male profiles for your competition. You're just not going to cut it online if you don't have model looks or tons of money. A lot of girls online are completely into money AND looks. Stop wasting time online and hit on girls in real life. Been there, done that. Online dating totally sucks balls for men.

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  • Bridesmaids? Hold on, dude, first we should find where you misplaced your manhood. Seriously, what person is going to believe that? (Plus "I love me some comedy" makes you sound like a hillbilly redneck.)

    Obviously you like their profile, and obviously you're saying hi, so there's no need to say it. Obviously they will check out your profile if there's any interest and why would they let you know if they'd like to chat more... wouldn't they just, ya know, do it? You overall have just way too much generic fluff in your message. I'll let the women help you with the specifics.

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    • Lol I was just trying to be cute with the whole "I like me some comedy" but I guess I see your point.

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    • I'm not saying no guy could enjoy Bridesmaids lol I'm just saying any guy that puts THAT as his favorite comedy isn't going to be taken seriously... at all.

    • To BrighteyedAsh I didn't mean completely feminine I just meant in regards to one or 2 perspectives and/or opinions. What I meant was 99%masculine and 1% feminine (ish)

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