Would you date someone who had a kid?

This is for both guys AND girls. Would you date someone with a kid? why or why not?

  • Yes I would, no problem
    23% (23)22% (18)22% (41)Vote
  • No I wouldn't.
    38% (39)51% (42)44% (81)Vote
  • It depends (explain)
    39% (40)27% (22)34% (62)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I voted yes (option A).

    It's a simple understood fact of life that in the 21st century, women are more likely to have a child. It's a sign of the times. In fact, statistically, me being a 27yr old black American male without

    Not saying that there aren't potential roadblocks with dating a girl with a kid.

    The relationship she has with the baby's father honestly isn't a problem that I'd have, simply because I don't give a f*ck about his opinion on his ex's dating life. I'm the type to simply date the girl and not care about her ex's opinion (but I will be cordial to him if he's around of course).

    The #1 problem that I do foresee is a lack of freedom on her part. Being an oldest sibling, having siblings from adult to elementary age...i know 1st hand growing up how much TIME and ATTENTION having a child can be.

    Dating a girl with a kid would be a strain because it's almost a given I won't be able to has as much intimate time alone with her. I wouldn't rule her out, but I know I have to brace myself to endure more obstacles to be with her vs. dating a girl that's child-free.

    Sorry for the rant! :-P

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    • *In fact, statistically, me being a 27yr old black American male without having a kid is a rarity.

What Guys Said 23

  • Nope!

    Wayyy to much drama, especially with the kids' father. A LOT of small things like she has to get a babysitter, has to be home by X because of the babysitter, can't go away unless you bring the kid along.

    The biggest reasons are if you try to correct them "You're NOT my father"

    The Mother will enviably tell you "It's MY kid" you have no say!

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    • about the correcting the kid part; well and that's really a pain in the ass. I've seen that with cousin and this single mom he's dating. She gets defensive because her son isn't not his, but at the same time, sometimes she's not keeping her kid in line and her kid is being disrespectful and/or rude. But he's not supposed to say anything because he didn't concieve her? Maybe it wouldn't be an issue if the discipline was top-notch.

  • That would partly depend on the girl and on the kid's age.

    It would take the kid say 3 to 4 years to accept me. Once it hit puberty , it would use and abuse the "you're not my real dad" excuse.

    Thus I'd be prudent about dating someone whose kid's puberty is less than 4 years away.

    The maths: 11-4=7 years of age.

    Then there would also be the question "How much will her ex invade our life with custody matters?"

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  • No, absolutely not. Dating is very hard to begin with to find the right person. Add in a child and perhaps a baby daddy and things will get even more complex. The only exception would be if she was married before and the husband died.

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  • Not currently.

    -If she's a single mom it means she's divorced, the father left, she kicked the father out, the father died, or they were adopted.

    Either way, the kid has been abandoned before. I don't want to be another man leaving their live. So I would have to know it was going to be permanent before actually getting serious. Which is pretty much impossible.

    -If I date someone she's my number one priority, and I want to be hers. But for a mom the kid will always be the first priority.

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  • No, sorry. For three simple reasons.

    A. Money. I don't have enough of it to finance some other guy's kid. Even if I did, I'd rather spend my money on my *own* kid. Or maybe adopt some orphan girl from China.

    B. Who wants some constant, 24/7 reminder of the person's past partner?

    C. It's hard enough to find *one* person you like enough to consider committing too, much less two.

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    • I downvoted you because:

      A: Your own kid will not be more special than hers. HERS, not just her ex. And how is an orphan more yours? Because they lost their real parents?

      B: You sound insecure and immature.

      C: Okay, this one is valid because Mom/kids are a package deal. If you don't like the kids it's not worth staying for the woman.

      And lastly, I'm not some fat/unattractive single mom who downvoted you because I was somehow offended and scandalized. Your reasons just mostly sucked.

    • Oh, I know why you downvoted me, because you're a solipsistic woman. Like so many women, you're literally not capable of seeing it from the man's point of view. And my own kid WOULD be a lot more special than one she had. Because the kid would be mine as well, not some other man's. And an orphan is far different from a bastard child. As a woman, you literally cannot find a reason to object to any form of cuckoldry, because it would benefit you.

  • generally no to the idea however I'd make exceptions if I was really interested in the girl , there have been a couple girls over the years who had kids that I was really into . however we never ended up dating so it never went anywhere or did I get to experience what it be like . but in general I'd say no to the idea as it be a bit too much of a commitment for me at this stage

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  • I wouldn't because I potentially want kids of my own and ot someone else's. However, I am not big on kids and really don't want kids anyways...but there is always a chance.

    When you are in a relationship with another kid you are automatically put into the role of a parent or potentially one. That's not fair to the person who might be young and trying to figure out who they are in life.

    When you ask someone to be with your kid you automatically put them in a parenting role they might not be ready for.

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  • A:

    but not a brat - too much work from a nonparent position

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  • 'Probably' not. But not 'definitely' not

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  • no! I'm not ready to father my own kids so I don't feel like taking care of kids who are not mines. also, I don't know who the kids daddy is. don't know if he's a disrespectful and unappreciated loser with a watermelon ego that would probably pick drama with me because I'm not only doing the job that he is supposed to be but maybe I might be doing it better then him and he might not like it or stand it

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  • Sure. People aren't wrecked just because they have kids. If you want a pure family of your own and think you can do it and not get divorced - you don't know so if you think you can date a person who has kids and obviously they didn't make it then they know something you don't, actually.

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  • I'm not saying it couldn't happen but generally no I.just can't imagine that for myself

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  • Not really ready to handle that baggage yet

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  • i am right now

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  • As long as she's willing to have a kid of mine, then hell yeah I would, if she isn't, then I'd probably date her, but not get too serious.

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  • sure, its almost 50% of girls now have a kid it seems.

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  • yes why not I actually love kids.

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  • Maybe if I was older... but I'd still clap dem cheekz lol

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  • i would..

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  • Nope. I'm not sure whether or not I want kids, no way am I raising someone else's.

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  • Well I prefer a girl who doesn't have kids but doesn't mean I wouldn't date a girl who has kids if I cared about her enough.

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  • Hell no! I hate kids.

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  • Only if she was a widow.

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What Girls Said 29

  • No, because (especially at my age) being a single parent is a sign of sexual carelessness. I'm a virgin waiting until I'm married, so sexual carelessness isn't a trait I'm looking for in a guy.

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    • A child is the greatest gift anyone could receive, and to find someone especially at a young age who has not abandoned that child is the most amazing trait a person can have. That person knows love, care, compassion. It doesn't matter the age. And what do you say to all the divorced or widowed single parents out there who thought the same thing as you? Were they sexually careless or are only certain situations sexual carelessness and others are okay?

    • Well I don't agree with divorce either, except in cases of abuse or adultery (I know, I'm a little uptight). If the child was born in wedlock, that's fine, but why would a guy my age have been married AND divorced/widowed? That's my concern.

      And don't get me wrong, I LOVE children! But the type of guy I'm looking to marry isn't one who would have a child at this age. It might be fine for someone else, but it's just not what I'm looking for.

  • No, I could never see myself with a man, who has a child/children.

    It is not that I hate kids or something, I just couldn't do it.

    I mean I want someone who never had children:, why?

    1- less drama.

    2- a man who has a child will always be in contact with his ex gf/wife. She will always be in his life.

    3- I want someone who I'll have future with him , marry him one day and have our first children.

    4- knowing that he has a child from another woman is kind of a heartbreaker, I'll always feel like the 2nd person.

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  • It would depend on the whole picture for me, such as... How old is the guy, and how old is the kid? Is the kid's mother still around, and how does he relate to her? Is he looking to settle down, or just get to know people? Is he a good dad? What kind of role does he want me to have around his kid? I'd need to know things like this. If I was already friends with a guy who had a kid, and we grew feelings for each other and I knew the kid most of their life, it might be different. If I walked past a guy who I knew had a kid, I'd probably automatically only allow myself to be friends with him. I don't want baby mama drama, and I don't want to raise someone else's child unless there's a really special circumstance.

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  • Yes.

    Dating someone with a kid doesn't mean that there is a guarantee that they are looking for someone to take that role on or that you two are even going to be serious. Maybe they are just looking or just trying to have some fun.

    You should ask upfront what they are looking for or expecting. After time passes there should be a serious conversation about where the relationship is heading and how both people feel. When dating a person who has a kid it's important to remember that you can't take it lightly because you may end up hurting the child. Of course there is always a possibility that the child (usually depending on the age) will resent you or not even like you. All sorts of factors play into it.

    Personally, I would not care if that person had a kid. It would only bother mi if they had a bunch of kids and did not participate in their lives. If they aren't there for their kids it would make mi wonder if they would even be there for ours if we had any together. =/

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  • Not at this age.

    It's honestly because at this phase of my life, I am selfish and immature. I realize that. I'll grow out of it with time but for right now, it's apart of me at times. I want to have the guy all to myself. I don't want to have to share him with a kid; I don't want to have to share his time. Although I'm good with kids and I love children, their vibrant energy, their positivity, their imagination...I adore children! I don't want any right now and I don't want to be put in a position where I really like a guy and apart of him deciding what place I get in his life is whether or not he feels I'd make a good mother figure. Even if he thinks I would, I'm not ready to be tacking the role of a mother and if things got serious, I'd be doing that for that child.

    I honestly just don't want to deal with the responsibility that comes with dating someone with a kid. I don't want to get attached to a child I have no legal rights to. I don't want to have to deal with some bitchy baby mama or some insecure baby mama who's upset because she's being replaced by me in a way. And to be totally honest, I don't think it's fair for someone to have to face those issues because two people concieved a child they weren't ready for.

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  • Heeeell no . They already tried to start a family with that person, and they'd have to see them since the child needs both its parents.

    -love Sosa

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  • I wouldn't. For one, I'm 19. A person around my age who has a kid is not someone I want to be dating, especially because his ex would probably bash my skull in because younger girls are more likely to be crazy. And I don't like to date guys who are much older than I am. Along the same lines, I'm not ready for that responsibility. I don't even want to be responsible for a guy at this point, let alone his kid.

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  • right now I'm 24 and I don't have kids so I don't think my guy should have kids. In HS I was told not to have kids and if I listened then why do I wana date a guy who has kids?

    if I was in my 30s I wouldn't mind because most people have kids by that time anyway and its reasonable.

    but I'm still young and I wana have fun, if I were to date a guy with a kid now...what was stopping me from having kids at 16?

    so that's why I said it depends.

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  • It's actually not a huge deal to me. But it depends on the circumstances. Is he a good father? Does not allow time with his kid to interfere with "us" time? Under what circumstances did he have the kid? Was he married before? (at my age this would be a red flag), were they just not careful? Did he WANT to have the kid? Who takes care of the kid when he's at work? Does he expect me to be a mother to the child?

    These are all things I would consider.

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  • NEVER! I refuse to be a baby mama and take care of a child that's not mine. Such a turn off to be with a man who has a kid or kids.

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  • At the age I am at right now, most likely not. A lot of my friends already have kids and I see all the drama that comes along with baby mommas and daddies, so I like to steer clear of that mess. I absolutely adore kids, but I am waiting to have/adopt my own.

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  • When I'm older I might, but right now, no.

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  • I wouldn't because I am not ready to be a parent and it would not be fair to the kid(s). However as I get older if I do feel like I would be ready to be a parent then I would.

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  • not currently. I'm 23 and a uni student so I don't really have the time, money to invest in a child. Maybe if I was 30 or so and I had my life on track but not now, definitely not.

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  • I put no. I am past the kid stage. I already raised my own kids. I don't want anymore kids.

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  • Ya, why not

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  • It depends on what happened to the mother, how present she is in the child's life, possible custody issues

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  • never, its just their might be conflict

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  • If it's one kid then that's OK. More then that, forget it. This guy at my work wanted to date me and he has 6 kids! With 3 different women. Crazy! I don't want to be apart of that mess. I told him I was taken anyway. Which I am.

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  • Wow! Lol first one to say yes :P

    Once I am older and I fall in love with them I think I could handle a kid especially if he is a single father. But some circumstances.

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  • It would really depend on the guy, how old the kid is.

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  • Yes but only after 30, with well-behaved kids over 5, and with zero "baby mama drama".

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  • it depends on a lot of things...most importantly on how much I like the guy

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  • I am 29 years old dating a divorced 32 year old with two kids. It is not a problem. What IS a problem is that he isn't sure if he wants any more kids. He said if he did, it would only be one more. I on the other hand, would like to have two of my own. I might be able to settle for one, but I can't predict if having one will make me want another. If him and I do get very serious and we end up getting married and have a kid and I want another, that right there could tear the relationship apart. It is tough. But what you need to do before getting serious with someone is to make sure you two are both on the same page and want the same thing. If not, kids are a pretty big deal and very important to people, whether you have any already or not and it can't destroy a relationship, no matter how much you love the other person.

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    • Wow, I just came across my answer from 5 months ago. I am still dating the same person and he has decided that he does not want any more kids. This devastated me. I would have never began dating him had I known. So NO. I would never date someone with kids. Even if they wanted more because they might change their mind.

  • No because I want a kid and if we get married most likely he will say well he does not want "another child" I mean come on he is not a bruce jenner. Also I do not do baby mama drama.

    link

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  • It would depend on if they had a crazy ex. If they just happened to have a kid and there was no baby mama drama then I wouldn't have a problem. I would hop they would be okay with having more kids though, if we were serious because I would like to have more, although I would except theirs as my own.

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  • i currently date a much older man with a son.

    no regrets :)

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  • No, at my age (19) if he had a kid that'd concern me. Also, I'm waiting for marriage and want my husband to do the same. So a kid would mean he hadn't done that, now wouldn't it? Personal preferences.

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  • Not now at this part in my life. I'm too young. I think when I was ready to settle down and have a family of my own then I don't see why not (although I'd prefer to date the guy for about a year or so before I got involved with his children. I don't think that it's good for children to have a lot of people going in and out of their lives constantly)

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