She's Catholic, I'm Atheist...dating for a year...what next?

So my girlfriend and I have been dating for just over a year. We knew our religious differences from the beginning but we didn't worry about it. For the most part it hasn't been an issue at all.

Now that we talk and kid about...well kids, we've had just a couple arguments over what we believe in. I used to be a practicing Catholic but college changed that for me. She and her family our pretty devout. Her family loves me we all get along great.

As singles we both think we are OK but Catholicism is very important to her and raising kids with two parents passionate about their own belief system could be trouble.

Any similar issues or feedback?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Well, apart from the BS religious philosophies on here I'm going to approach this as every other person that was raised Catholic, but got a good education.

    Being raised Catholic is not completely about the religion. It's also about the values that come with the religion. When a person is young, it is very difficult for them to have a level of understanding that would enable them to make good decisions without some kind of guidance. The Catholic church does a lot to assist parents in that guidance. If you went to a Catholic school then you know exactly what I am talking about. Sharing, helping others, volunteering, and donating excesses are all habits that I picked up from Catholic school before I realized their actual significance.

    Now, there are obvious downsides to raising your child as a Catholic. If they are gay then they are going to feel completely isolated. They may develop bias' and other beliefs based on their religion.

    The best thing to do is to be aware of those bias' and encourage your child to think for themselves. If they tell you that they do not want to go through confirmation then encourage that choice. If they tell you that they are skeptical about something that they heard then discuss it with them. Make sure to supplement their education outside of the Catholic school system (science camp, etc).

    There is nothing wrong with raising your child Catholic as long as you are a good parent. It can provide a great support system through some of the tough, younger years. Your child will be successful based on your parenting, not your religion.

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What Girls Said 3

  • Religion should not be a huge key factor in deciding something like this. I recently just got out a relationship with someone who was from Cuba and practiced Santeria. We use to talk about children and marriage and it all came down to the acceptance of each others beliefs. There is nothing wrong with opposing beliefs within a marriage or when having kids. Because she is extremely devout, maybe you should come to a compromise that she is able to practice with your kids, but if they ever do not want to be apart of the religion than they will not be judged or they are not required to be a part of it. If you really love this person, don't let your religious views skew anything, religion has caused far too many rifts in the world as it is.

    What I think you should do it sit down and have a serious discussion, while you may not believe in God, you should always respect your partner's religion and their beliefs. Do no listen to the religious nut down below! As long as you two can come to an understanding not to undermine the others beliefs to your children you should be fine. I think it is wonderful that you are considering all the consequences and obstacles before venturing into a more committed relationship because most people do not. I think you both will be fine and that, if you choose to have the, your kids will (with your help and guidance) understand both of your views and make a decision for themselves. That is, of course, free will and human nature bundled into one. Hope I helped, sorry about the length!

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  • Do you feel strongly about your atheism? If so, find someone who shares your beliefs. It's silly to compromise on that or to raise children in an environment you don't believe in.

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  • This is very big. I'm going to tell you now. if you two don't believe in the same thing, it's more than likely not going to work. It may not be now but I can promise you it will. I'm a Christian and I have trouble talking about religion with Atheist. I respect everyone's beliefs but that's a difficult thing to discuss when you two have different beliefs.

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What Guys Said 2

  • God will always win.

    Marriage is a contract between man and God and woman and God. How do you plan to deal with this? Will you lie or try and cheat God.

    Want to see a miracle, look in the mirror. Think, you are not bright enough to have created such a master piece. All roads lead to God and Catholic does not explain the bible but it is a step in the right direction.

    I had a girlfriend with your thoughts, she changed.

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    • Same thing happened to me. I was always a hard core atheist but my love got me thinking differently and now I'm Catholic and God has done wonders for me.

  • This is a really deep issue.

    As for starters, if I were you, I would join her religion.

    That's much I can do for her if I'm going to pursue a long-term relationship with her.

    However, if I can't really change my views and there are more desirable women out there who can provide me with same happiness as the Catholic girl do, then I'll just move on.

    Now, it all comes down to you. What do your feelings dictate?

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    • lol and just fake that he believes in Jesus? That doesn't solve anything...

    • ps. I'm not going to fake believing in something so fundamental like that. I'm a naturalist. I believe in research and facts.

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