I'm still in love with my ex...

Okay so my ex and I dated in high school I was 15 and he was 17 when we first started dating. We dated for almost a year and then I broke up with him... twice. Which I feel really bad about but at 16 years old I wasn't ready to be as serious as he was. Then there was my mom trying to ban me from being alone with him every chance she got because she didn't want me getting pregnant. After we broke up we didn't see or talk to each other for about a year and a half. He started going really downhill getting into all sorts of drugs (he's clean now and has an excellent career except he still smokes green). One of our mutual friends got us to start hanging out again and then that's when we started hooking up.. not dating each other just hooking up. I was like 18 and he was 20 when this started happening again. Then some time passed we stopped seeing each other and he started dating other girls. Every time he broke up with a girlfriend and I wasn't seeing any other guys we have always gone back to each other since then. I'm now 23 and he's 25. Last year I was dating this guy but he turned out to be a complete psycho so I broke up with him December 2011. My ex ended up breaking up with his girlfriend around that same time also. So ever since the beginning of this year we have been seeing each other. I casually see other guys as well because my ex claims he doesn't want to get back with me so I try and keep my options open. I find it complete bullcrap though that he doesn't want to be with me. I know he's just afraid that I could possibly hurt him again, also afraid of what his best friends & family might think if he got back with me and there's still the fact that he holds a grudge against my mom because he thinks she's mostly the reason I broke up with him. I've told him several times this year how I feel about him. But he's still blocking himself from getting back with me completely. I just wish I could somehow change his mind. He is the only guy that I could ever see myself settling down with and starting a family right now. I want it with him so much. What should I do?


Most Helpful Guy

  • I still love my ex, and it's hard to really see yourself with out them. You build up this reality that there is just no one else that could possibly fit, or those feelings will never be as deep with someone else. Don't do this to yourself. People change, feelings change. And relationships end for a reason. What you can't change, is the time you have left on earth. You don't want to waste that. Just because you have a history with someone, doesn't mean you should avoid someone entirely new. Familiarity is ideal in retrospect, but it isn't the path we should choose when there's probably something better waiting for us.


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What Guys Said 1

  • I know exactly how you feel, I've been in the exact spot of this guy your talking about. I think you should just be blunt and tell him exactly what you wrote here, he's the only guy you could see yourself settling down with and starting a family, I wish you the best of luck, things with my ex in a similar situation didn't work out so well, she ended up with two kids from two different guys


What Girls Said 2

  • honestly you are still so young.

    i think you need to completely break it off with this guy.

    there is a reason it continues not to work out between the two of you. seems like you have given the relationship a chance more than once.

    save yourself the heartbreak of doing this over and over again. history just seems to keep repeating itself.

    i know it sucks, but keep yourself busy and keep seeing other guys. you will find the right one for you.

    whats meant to be will be.

  • You can't force him to be with you. Just make it clear to him that you're there to support him whenever he needs it.