Okay. Was this guy just in it for sex?
The first night we met he ends up staying at mine. He did not get any. He sends a text two days later saying he had fun and a good time and asks me out.
We go out. First date we went for a walk along the Harbour and Dinner after. It goes well. He wants to stay over but no sex. Second date we go for Dinner again but this time I cave when he stays over and he gets sex.
We start hanging out more regularly. But just once a week. Usually on Sunday nights. He sent texts regularly every couple of days also.
We did do one or two things during the day. He once visited me at work on my Lunch break (no sex then, lol ) and hung out in the City one arvo also on a Sunday.
But whenever I make plans with him he always cancels at last minute. Even when I mentioned I was off work for a week he did not seem interested in spending time with me during the day (he worked night shift).
We went out on actual dates as well as getting intimate. This through me off. He was being polite, nice, took me out. I thought things were going somewhere.
As soon as things started to look good. I hint once about wanting something and he tells me he does not want commitment!
I was baffled that he had put in so much effort just to get sex and ended up feeling like a fool for not seeing how not serious he was!
Especially that he was already crashing at mine from the get go. Forehead slap. LoL.
Would a guy you are dating regularly normally see you more then once a week and not cancel on you if you had made plans if he was more serious about you?
Were those subtle clues hinting to me that he was not serious? Just do not want to make the same mistake again when I get back into dating next year.
Tips on this would be greatly appreciated!
Most Helpful Girl
The first mistake was letting him stay over...the first time.Even though there was no sex,it seems way too...EASY.For a stranger,I wouldn't have him at my house the first night I met him.Wayyyyy tooooo fasttttttt. I think you ended up setting a tone of what he can expect from you.That's WHY he wanted to stay over the second time you two hung out...and you let him.Yes,in his mind,he knew he was that much closer to sex.Third time is a charm,and it seems that that is what he was holding out for.First impressions are EVERYTHING. Sorry to say,but I think you were too easy.Some folks will debate this,but I think you were to easy for him.After he got it,its much easier to move on since you quickly put everything on the table early.
So he mainly hangs out with you ONCE a week on a Sunday NIGHT. Read that sentence again and let it marinate.He is giving you the least amount of his time,purposely at night...so he can get laid.I would say you are more of a FWB...not relationship material in his mind.If you were,he would make you more of a priority.
Yes.Guys will jump through hoops if they know they are getting laid.Not saying every guy has horrible intentions,but he knew you would give it up fast,and he stuck around to get it...by the third date.
To answer your questions,YES.If a guy is interested in a real substantial relationship,he would want to see you more than once a week.He would MAKE time for you.
Also,its not hard to read a guy at all.They can say what they want,but their actions tell you EVERYTHING.
If I was in this situation,I would have put the brakes on things at the second date.He would not have stayed at my house,and I would have in a subtle way let him know that I am not "easy". I think some guys automatically think that once you invite them into your personal space...your home,that they are gonna get laid.
I believe in going slow and steady...but that's just me I guess. Good luck :)3