Is she being genuine or is she using me?

Back in October, I met a girl on a dating site. We had planned a time and place for a date and texted extensively, as well as exchanged Skype information. The one time we video chatted on Skype lasted only about two minutes with only about 20 seconds dedicated to actual conversation (the rest was due to some stuff going on with her friends.) Anyway, she never responded to my texts and ims to confirm the date and even removed me from her contact list on Skype. I had always thought she blew me off because she was turned off by my physical appearance and/or voice. Last night, I unexpectedly got a text message from her in which she apologized for ignoring me, claiming she didn't feel like she was ready for anything and that she wanted a new start with the new year. This strikes me as uncharacteristic of something that somebody would do. Do you think she might have a serious interest in dating me, or do you think she might be using me for something else?


Most Helpful Girl

  • It sounds to me like this girl was very interested in your personality an enjoyed getting to know you. During the Skype call she may have realized that she's not physically attracted to you, which is fine because there has to be a level of physical attraction when you're with someone. After the Skype call you say she deleted you from her contacts? That is a pretty clear indication that she's not interested.i think he realized this was a very rude and harsh gesture, which is why she wrote back to you with an apology. It still seems like her apology was not to lure you back into a relationship, but simply to say sorry for being so rude while still letting you know that she's wanting to explore other options in the new year. I'm so sorry he was so harsh with you, but you can find someone who will be both physically and emotionally attracted to you and who treats you with respect and positive attention.


What Girls Said 5

  • She's not interested. Sounds like she was interested in the beggining, but may have gotten a vib from you to where she doesn't trust you. It might of been the fact that you asked to meet up so fast. It might of freaked her out a little. Even if you guys were texting a lot if you kept asking to meet up or seeing each other she might of felt uncomfortable it. If you like her keep talking with her, but I wouldn't get too involed with it.

  • Honestly there is no way to know because we can't read her mind. Basically the question falls on you because she put the ball in your court now. You have the choice to decide she's making a genuine change and that she's really sorry and give her another chance. OR say.. you know I'm done with this girl and not. Now the latter doesn't mean don't respond because then your just as bad as she was. But it means to say : Hey I accept your apology" and then move on. Life's to short to keep going back... but sometimes it's worth it. You just have to decide. :)

  • I think she could've found another guy or maybe she isn't ready to be in an emotional relationship yet.but I'm sure any girl who doesn't like you would be just plain crazy

    • I'm flattered! What makes you say that?

    • Show All
    • I'm turning 18 in a couple of months

    • And the moment you turn 18, if not sooner, you'll thing I'm just a loser.

  • Yeah I think something happened after the video call. It is very possible that she was turned off by your physical appearance. Maybe she wasn't physically attracted to you and so instead of playing it hard by telling you to your face that she's not feeling the date with you anymore, she decided to play it 'safe' by dropping all contact with you altogether.

    • because it's very much odd that she acted all interested and very fond of you before your first ever VIDEO call with her. I'm sure you guys texted and maybe even called each other prior to the video call. So it's very likely that she didn't like what she saw. Sorry about that.

What Guys Said 2

  • Unfortunately, I do not, because the first reaction is usually the correct one. Her initial behavior may it clear that she wasn't remotely interested in dating you. Ignoring you and deleting you is just plain rude, and it's usually an indicator of a persons interest level.

    She may have had second thoughts or regrets about initially not giving you a chance, but that should be taken with a grain of salt.

    To me, it sounds as if she is settling, or you are her first choice of her contingency plan. If I were you, I would move on.

  • I wouldn't get emotionally invested in this one my friend.