How do I get back out there and start dating again?

My ex and I had been through everything over the past three years. From divorces to losing a best friend and gaining an angel, anything awful, he was there by my side. I lost one of my best friends and I snapped. I became bitter, I didn't understand. I eventually pushed him away. A year ago when that happened I found out I was pregnant, something I couldn't handle. After a long hard decision we got rid of it, and were fine. It caused a lot of tension between us. We started talking again after two months of not seeing or hearing from each other. A month ago, I found out a girl he slept with was pregnant. My world came crashing down. I can't look at him, talk to him, nothing. He thinks if he dates her because of the baby everything will be fine. It might be for him, but not for me. I can't handle that, nor will I raise someone elses child. The past month I've been thinking, crying, regretting, asking myself why. I need to stop. I want to be happy. I can't wait on him forever. I need to do this for myself. Its a new year, I can't let him bring me down. How do I go out there and start again. Its been 3 years. I don't even know what a date is, or how to be. Please help me


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Yes, it's time to regain your freedom. Don't make big plans or sign up for dating sites, just enjoy the freedom from tension, worry, crisis, and conflict! When you meet someone who won't bring any of this back into your life, you will know it is time.

    Don't give him any reason to think you'd ever consider continuing with him!

    Go to new places, do new things, and don't frequent old haunts too many people wind up with annother person cut from the same mold...

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What Guys Said 2

  • I'm happy to hear that you've still not given up hope. Most women will become depressed that suicide attempt is an option. It's heartwarming to see a woman like you who seeks happiness despite all what you've been through.

    Getting back to the dating world can be quite easy however it takes a lot of effort.

    You just need to go out, hang out with your friends, socialize with everyone (your classmates, batchmates, mutual friends, others).

    If you've found a guy you've been searching for, show that you're interested in him. Make him comfortable when he's with you. Get to know him better by seeing the "real" him through personal conversations. Also, let him know the real you. Let him know the burdens and all what you've been through. That way, he can be able to accept who you are and will treat you with the fondness and love you're been seeking.

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    • It's hard, but I can't give up. I'm just afraid any guy I meet, and tell everything to will judge me on what I have done.

    • We all have this fear inside when meeting with strangers or just anyone. I think the best way to conquer it is to move out of your comfort zone, talk to men daily, and be able to express yourself fully.

      Not all people will judge you for who you are, and some will even step up and be able to willingly accept who you are, and be with you for the most part of your life.

    • I hope so, my problem is I'm from a small town. Everyone judges you on anything you do. I want to get out of here, but I need a place to go, to start out fresh.

  • i wish a girl would like me

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What Girls Said 2

  • I think you are a strong woman to go through all of this and not give up hope. You are much stronger than I am! Kudos to you!

    I think it is time you spread your wings and find happiness in life. It's time to start a new year fresh and find happiness within yourself and learn to surround yourself with positive people and influences. Perhaps take on new activities or hobbies that you once didn't have time for or the courage to do. For instance, when I knew I needed a new life, I decided to take up everything that scared me. I started working out, became a long distance runner, a vegetarian, and lost 40 lbs all without the use of a gym (I lost it all in 6 months!). I began volunteering for animals, habitat for humanity. I even took on activities I never thought I could do like architecture, tour old cities, join local architecture communities like AIA.

    I then started to broaden my horizons and started traveling to places I always wanted to go. I'm even going to Boston this weekend to check out a college. Just last year, I went to Chicago with my college to tour the city's architecture. I then began to read about great women like Dagny in Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand and visit art museums to get inspiration for things I studied in college.

    I then decided I could find much better men than the jerks I was dating before. You would be surprised how losing weight is a great confidence boost and men notice that! I began gaining confidence and talking to guys I never thought I had the chance with. So what if they didn't like me, at least it was a confidence boost to know I could even talk to them! If you are shy, take on activities that force you to talk to others. I worked an administrative job at the time and even began doing bake sales for a school club and I put myself out there as much as I could! I gained great friends that way!

    So keep your head up and find happiness wherever it may be in your life. You'll find that when you surround yourself with positive people you too will start having positive things come to you. Start joining school clubs, exercise, change your entire wardword and look, why not do something so crazy like join a marathon! I wish you the best of luck love!

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  • Listen, I know its hard. And everyone goes through it. But here are some fun ways to make the outcome for the better... :)

    1. Your friends should be involved- Have them (or yourself, if your up to it) make a physical list of all the reasons why you can't be together

    2. Get some exercise- this makes you feel and look healthy and when you look healthy and nice, you'll feel and look more attractive to the opposite sex. You'll also get some time for yourself to think.

    3. Play up your look- Dressing cooler, changing your hair, or even popping your collar can make you feel/look like a different person. It also is a quick confidence boost to your ego, which you'll definitely need!

    4. Make it official- Meet new girls, have a friend set you up, talk to someone new... in all, get back out there!

    There are so many girls in this world, one shoudnt matter that much to you if their not your soulmate!

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