Guys. Are you guilty of cutting off contact with a girl to increase your value or see how she reacts?

If you have been texting or messaging normally with a girl every day for several weeks, would you suddenly decide to cut things off to see how she might react? Or so that you can be of "higher value" in her eyes? Even if she has been responsive and has been initiating at times?

Do you notice if you stop texting and she stops texting and so there is no texting? Or is that something only girls notice?


0|0
2|8

Most Helpful Guy

  • I don't do it to increase value, usually I do it because we're not talking about anything important. Let's be real, texting 4 or 5 times a day...7 days a week...is 28-35 texts a week...now say you've been dating for like 3 months...that's a lot of contact. Plus you are seeing this person probably once or twice a week...god forbid maybe even more than that...you burn out. Maybe it's just me, but unless this person is the world's most interesting man or y'all are sexting then other than giving mundane details or complaing about what could you be saying to each other that often? I don't beleive in oversaturating a fledgling relationship with too much communication. You can get sick of the person quickly. You should never answer every text, especially if is says something like "what are you up to?" "what did you do today?"...it's called having other things going on in your. Never text a new guy more than 3 days in any given work week.

    0|0
    0|0
    • So how would you respond if by you not always texting her back she attacked you and accuse you of not caring and not being interested in her so she was done with you?

    • Oh, that's happened to me. Lol. I've been cursed out for not not responding while I was at work. Not even a full day later. I thought that it was great, it let me see how crazy she was and even better was that this was really early on so I felt like I dodged a bullet.

What Guys Said 7

  • No, I don't do that with girls that I've already been texting/messaging for quite some time on a regular basis. Now I do sometimes do it with girls I just got to know and haven't had regular contact. I just want to see whether or not she will be the one to initiate next contact, not really so I am of "higher value". If I notice that she does initiate contact then there's no reason to cut things off.

    I did notice pretty often that she would not text back after I stopped initiating. That kind of sucks because that most often means that she's not interested in me. Or she's interested but just way too shy. But I can also notice if she's very shy because she'll be also shy in other situations, so I'll understand.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I have to admit, I used to do that, but it was not to raise my value, it was because I honestly wanted to know if she would contact me if I wasn't going after her...understand? Like it is a way to reassure ourselves that you aren't just being nice and responding because you are nice, but you talk to us because you actually like us. I know its stupid, but every guy does it. If I don't text you for a day or two and then you blow up my phone the next day it makes me feel like you actually like me...sorry, is true

    Now, the raising your value because the guy is just so busy doing fun sh*t that he cannot text you back is lame PUA bullsh*t and if a guy does that to you, you should dump his ass because he is a douche that likes to try to play women.

    0|0
    0|0
    • Do all guys you know do this?

    • Also, what if you already know the girl is interested ? Would you still do that.

      How can you tell if a guy likes playing women? Some signs?

  • And the signs you were asking for of the pua douche...when he finally does talk to you he will say some bullsh*t about how busy he was doing awesome sh*t...hanging out with super models and sh*t...if he is a regular guy that wants to know if you are really interested he will say it was work, school, family etc that kept him busy...hope this helps...good luck...well be here if you have.more questions

    0|0
    0|0
  • i only cut off contact if I suspect, hint, or know that she is not interested in me anymore.

    but I do feel that she is interested in me and likes to text me or message me then I will keep in contact with her.

    i used to text and chat with a girl everyday, and we used to hang out almost twice a week, but it seemed after awhile her interest in me started to fade. no more flirty, sexy texts or chats, no texting me good morning or good night every night, no texting me asking to hang out (or ignoring my offers)... I just decided to not talk to her anymore. when we hung out whenever I tried to escalate things physically with her she wasn't interested.

    0|0
    0|0
  • guilty? no, I do it but I don't feel guilty, cause when I do talk to her loads I get friend zoned... so its necessary to keep things going

    0|0
    0|0
  • Not really. Are you guilty of cutting off contact with a guy to increase your value or see how he reacts?

    0|1
    0|0
    • Not for me but guys do this to me. Or they just stop contacting me for a while for no reason.

  • guilty as charged but not to be seen as "higher value". it's just one of those games people play. I know it f*cks with the girl but I'm not even sure why I've done it. maybe it was just to f*ck with her, to make her miss me or wonder what's up.

    0|0
    0|0
    • At what age do guys stop this?

    • Show All
    • Also, does it bother you when the girl DOES NOT give you the effect you were looking for...like contacting you first?

    • it doesn't bother me that much if she doesn't call but I may think to a small degree she doesn't care that much.

      everyone, guys and girls, play games or test it's just a matter of how much and to what extent. I guess you'll have to judge if it's just a harmless game or if he's the type who will toy with your emotions all the time.

What Girls Said 2

  • If I knew a guy was doing this I would cut him off completely. F***that sh*t.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I've done that before and honestly, it's really not a good tactic. It just pushes the other person away more. Really doesn't solve anything.

    0|0
    0|0
    • Yeah. I agree.

    • Oh yeah. And when you are waiting, did it bother you if they were not getting back to you as you were planning?

    • Oh yeah, all the time. And usually I'll end up disappointed in the end because it never got me anywhere and nothing ever happened. You'll miss out on a lot of great guys like that, friendships or relationships. Doesn't get you anywhere, trust(:

Loading...