Guys: How much thought do you put into your first dates?

Just wondering if you spend as much time fussing over it as we do... What's your pre-first date process?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I'm going to copy and paste from a very similar question I literally just answered that had a long response haha.

    Depends. If it's a coffee meet up I'm not putting a ton of effort into it since I don't know if I'll even be there long if I'm not that into her. I'll wear my usual everyday clothes- White t-shirt with a blue or gray semi-glossed dress shirt (I got to say, I've really been feeling the sky blue lately like this link ), then I've got some dark blue jeans, some of them are almost an off black while some are a bit more dark blue faded. I've got a chestnut color belt that matches the semi-casual Timberland Chelsea Earthkeepers. No laces and crazy comfortable.

    But that's if I'm doing a quick get together, generally a first date just to test the water and see if I really want to go out on a legit date. If we're talking a legitimate date where I've decided I want to pick her up, take her to dinner, then do something special (varies by person, season, etc.) then I'm putting more effort in.

    For starters, I'm adding a casual dinner jacket of some kind into the mix ( link this guy knows what I'm talking about haha) . The white t-shirt is left out, the dress shirt is going to a darker gray or black depending on what I think looks good. I stay awake from flashy colors, I'm not Kanye West here.

    Aside from the style aspect, I think a shower should go without saying (I don't even like doing anything before starting the day off with a shower haha), brushing teeth as well. I don't much like shaving, but I do so before a date, definitely. I make an effort to get my car spotless. I will first clean out any possible garbage or any items like books and such. I usually ride alone, so I have a habit of tossing school books, cd's, etc. onto the passenger side and forgetting about it. Next I take it to the car wash. From there, I hit the vacuum, get the carpets all clean. Then I wipe the interior down and all that jazz, clean the interior windows, really make it spotless. I think keeping your car clean shows that you'd care enough to be embarrassed by a messy car. You care enough about the impression you make on people to give some effort. I think that's important. People that aren't serious about how they look and the impression they give, well that attitude is rarely isolated to just that aspect of their lives. I think how you present yourself is a reflection of who you are.

    Anyway, I should add if I even think I need a haircut, that's mandatory as well. I put a fair amount of effort into an 'actual' date because things don't rarely get past coffee dates. (Generally we end up just friends and hanging out at bars instead.)

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    • I never put more than a day of thought into it though. All that stuff above, it's all based on how I'm feeling that day and what stage we're at. I'll generally just wing it. Most my thought is day of, thinking "What do you want your look to say about you?" I'm not worried about conversation, it flows naturally. Not worried about where we go- I have so many different date ideas I usually just pick one based on the conversations from the first coffee date. Only thing I fuss about is looks, day of.

What Guys Said 7

  • I thought of it like a hike--you need to make sure you can survive it, first of all, then don't worry.

    Since you won't be in the wilderness much on a date, survival isn't a big worry, so we find it relaxing compared to scouting or wilderness backpacking, or fishing on the Salmon River, other things most gys do when younger.

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  • I made sure I was well groomed; hair cut, shaved, nice clothes, and my car and place was immaculate. Ah, the days when I was single.

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  • I am a chronic over thinker and want everything to be perfect. For the last first date I had I didn't sleep for three days as I was thinking of all our conversations and working out what she would like and then choosing an appropriate activity. When the day came the weather had changed and all my plans had gone to pot but it was still fun :D

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  • i don't put much effort in at all, shower etc... look for clean clothes, leave house, go on date.

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  • alot... but I'm weird I think

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  • Yea prob so maybe not as much as females do it depends on who you're takin I guess and how much you're into em...

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  • not much. I like spontaneity. One time I had a girl tell me how she and one of her friends had come the day before to check the menu before our date at the restaurant. Frankly it kind of freaked me out a little, way too serious or intense for that stage of a relationship. I prefer casual and spontaneous, so I see who the person is. If she prepares like it's a job interview, in great details, I feel like I might be seeing the crafted version of herself instead of the real one.

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