Dating Two Guys (Nice Guy & A "Jerk"). I need help with dilema

Ive lost all interest in the "jerk" because..well he's a jerk. shows lack of interest in getting to know me, doesn't say hi to me when girls are around (even though he wouldve had to gone out of his way to do so. It doesn't matter because I've seen him gone completely out of the way to come talk to me before) Anyways He called me on New Years Eve. I didn't return his missed call because I don't want to talk to him anymore. Well here's the problem. He lives close by so we're bound to run into each other sooner or later. I want to know what to do or say when I see him. His personality is very outspoken, flirty, etc & I'm expecting him to ask me why I didn't return his call. I really don't want to giv the real reason. Sucks that he lives close by . usually I can just stop returning a jerk's call without worrying about ever seeing him again. As for the nice guy, I don't really like him like that but I've been single for a while and I'm not looking for a boyfriend. Should I wait till I meet a guy I like in a boyfriend kinda way or keep the nice guy for company & whatever happens happens but I hv no intention of him being my boyfriend. My bff told me to stop dating the ncie guy because I'm not that into him but its not like I want him to be my boyfriend. We're friends, he likes me a lot but the feelings just isn't there for me and I've tried very hard for them to come. THOUGHTS?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Say bye to both and start fresh. Get rid of the jerk you don't need that kind of negativity in your life. And if you have no feelings for the nice guy then don't bother with him either because you may be leading him on with out realising it :-)

    Say bye to both and focus on yourself

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What Guys Said 4

  • " I hv no intention of him being my boyfriend"

    "As for the nice guy..the feeling is JUST NOT THERE"

    So from the questions and the comment below you sound like you already have made a decision. Why bother asking.

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    • My question was not, "should he be my boyfriend or not?"

      My question was should I wait till I meet someone I like or hang with the nice guy and see where things lead.

  • It doesn't matter what advice we give you. You're going to keep seeing the jerk because he's the one you're attracted to. He'll remain flirty but cool and indifferent (which is what attracts you to him in the first place) and you'll keep coming back for more. Meanwhile, Nice guy will keep getting strung along in the pathetic hope that you will come around and start liking him (which will never happen), and eventually he'll turn bitter and resentful and he'll end up hating you. This is a tale that's been told a million times.

    You're young. All girls go through the bad boy phase at this age. You'll mature out of it and start liking nice guys when you gain some perspective on relationships.

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    • This is so not about me liking the jerk & going back to him. I startd off by saying I lost ALL interest in the jerk. I said I was not that interested in the nice guy. Big difference. Same cliche answers. Is it that hard to believe that a girl is not interested in a jerk? I wanted advice on things I could say when asked about the missed call & not texting or calling him anymore. I don't want the jerk. that's so not why I asked the question. Its not evn what the questionis about.

    • You'll end up with the jerk again. You say you won't, but you will. It's been less than a week, that's hardly "closure". Girls always try to convince themselves and others that they are "done with bad boys" but it usually doesn't end up sticking.

      As for the nice guy, let him go. Just cut him off entirely because he's too clueless to realize that you'll never be attracted to him and every second you spend with him (even as just friends) is giving him false hope. Let him find someone else.

    • closure? I don't need closure wth I didn't catch feelings for this guy. Seems as if my question didn't get answered and instead turned into a "girls love jerks" cliche kinda advice so yeah. thnx a lot #sarcasm :)

  • Yeah, so keep in tow where he's thinking he has a shot. I want all of the girls that blow smoke up the guys' asses on here about nice guys and how they shouldn't complain and what not. There's a reason why nice guys finish last is a saying. People on here sugar coat their asses off.

    Drop the nice guy. And what do you mean what should you do or say when you see the other guy? If you tell him that you're not interested anymore (which, let's be honest, isn't true. I suspect you're playing hard to get), there's nothing else that needs to be said.

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    • Did you just answer twice or something? All guys cannot possibly think like this. smh

      "If you tell him that you're not interested anymore (which, let's be honest, isn't true. I suspect you're playing hard to get)

      If a guy is a jerk, there is no "playing hard to get"

      Now, its "do not want"



      Its just that some girls don't know when to actually play hard to get and when to NOT play it and still end up getting their heart broken. But if used the RIGHT way.. It serves its purpose.

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    • Yeah, but from my point of view, I'm not so sure you are done with him. Like I said, there are plenty of examples of girls wanting that type of guy.

      Girls are notorious for wanting the guy because he is a challenge and she wants to change him, so playing hard to get would seem beneficial to some of them, I'm sure.

    • I get what you're saying completely but you're not describing me. I started off by saying I've lost all interest in the jerk. That says a whole lot. The guy turned me OFF. If I was younger, maybe he could have a little fun before I get tired of the games but I'm more older and less patient with jerks. Soon as I spot a "jerk" I take off. lol

  • Okay lets be real here.

    You LOVE the jerk because he's a jerk, and there is some hope you'll change him

    You hate the nice guy because he's nice and he's boring and you have no challenge.

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    • whats with guys on this website claiming girls love jerks and want to change them? I'm experience with guys, I know that one, jerks are hard to impossible to change and two I DONT CARE about changing him. I'm moving on. Hence the reason why I've ignored his call? As for the nice guy..the feeling is JUST NOT THERE. And forcing it isn't helping either. I tried that too.

What Girls Said 1

  • You need to be open and honest with both men. Don't use people, that is BS.

    Just tell the "jerk" you aren't interested and leave it at that.

    And don't keep stringing along the nice guy; that's how they get ruined for the rest of us.

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    • You're right. I am being kinda selfish. lol

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