Moved way tooo fast and now pregnant. What should I do?

Ok so I was talking to this guy since November and we were trying to move things slow. One day I had to walk home from work and my ankles were sprained. I was super pissed at him and I told him he needed to make it up to me. He came to my house and hugged me, told me he was sorry and he'd do anything to make it up to me. He just kept hugging, kissing, and taking care of my ankle. But one thing led to another where were emotional and our hormones took over and we had sex. The pain in my ankle immediately went away, it was crazy lol! But we weren't official yet. We were still talking and he was talking to another girl. Ugh, we hung out more and dated more but he said he had feelings for me and feelings for her. Well I saw him Dec. 23 to invite him to a family event. He met my family, we all went out to eat and talk and we had a great time together. When we were away from everyone, we had sex again. But then he was busy all week during Christmas and I managed to give him his present a few days after Christmas, we exchanged gifts and kissed, etc and then we did it again. Well he said he was still thinking about whether he'd choose me or the girl and he said I was being clingy lately because I called him a lot because he was hard to get in touch with. Then recently he said on NYE he got beaten up and got his phone and shoes stolen. I didn't believe him and just ignored the sh*t out of him at work. His own parents didn't believe him either. But he came to speak to me recently to tell me what happened. I wanted to break up with him and be done with him. But he explained what happened and he told me he hung out with the girl and made the decision to be with her. I was super upset. Like I wasted all that time hanging out with you and making memories then you decide you want to date her. I did it to my own self for moving too fast anyway. But recently I was feeling super nauseous and sick. I developed pregnancy symptoms and everything. I took a test and it came out positive. But I didn't believe it. I told him I might be pregnant. He was upset but he told me he still wanted me in his life. Still wanted to be with me and that he wants me to trust him 100%. I'm still not sure what to do about everything. I like him, he likes the other girl, now I'm preggo, he's like he wants to take care of me and that he's willing to drop her. I honestly wasn't trying to "trap" him so I told him he could date her and to just leave me alone. I told him I wouldn't be his friend anymore and that I'm not going to be in his life anymore either, but now I'm pregnant and now he wants to be with me. What should I do?

Updates:
When I was walking home from work, he promised me earlier that he would take me home from work but he didn't so I had to walk 2 hours from home at night and sprained my ankle and I told him he needed to make things up to me.
Well I don't know how far along I am yet and I don't believe in abortion either. I was almost aborted but my mom raised me and loved me lots. The only thing I'm afraid of is supporting both myself and the baby. I believe in adoption but if there was a way to get the baby out and keep it alive, like in a test tube or something, where it can develop into a healthy infant child for 9 months in an artificial womb, that would be great. But medical procedures haven't come along that far yet.
However, I don't want my child to have a miserable life where she/he only survives by the age of 3 due to child neglect so I'd have to do some intensive research into families and foster homes that would benefit my child tremendously. Or raise them myself but if I raised my kid myself, it would probably have a horrible life too as I'm not financially stable. The guy says he'll be there for me whether I have the kid or not and he seemed really sincere.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • All these people suggesting abortion make me sick. Please don't kill your baby because of your mistake. If it's late enough for symptoms to show up, then the heart is beating, and the brain and spinal cord have started forming.

    The way I see it, you have three options.

    1) If you really don't want the guy in your life, you could keep the baby and raise it alone.

    2) You could try to make it work with the guy. Personally, I think this one is worth a shot, for the baby's sake.

    3) You could look into adoption. I would only do this if you're positive the baby would not have a good life with either of the first two options.

    Good luck. This is quite a pickle you're in here.

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What Guys Said 3

  • I would opt for an abortion. It's still in the very early stages. This is not a good premise to start a family on.

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  • Abortion is the only reasonable option.

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    • The guy is not serious. You should abort. Child isn't desired, adoption can be worse, and the months of pregnancy won't help you. This is not a pro-life/abortion debate, this is about you. So do the best thing for you.

  • Maybe you should contact a local adoption agency. They'll help cover your medical bills and place the kid in a good home. That way your life isn't ruined while you're dealing with a flaky guy, and the kid gets a normal, stable home. Also will make it so when you meet a guy you'd actually like to marry and such, you don't have a kid to scare him off.

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What Girls Said 5

  • He isn't in this for you, he's in t for himself. If you don't want he baby put it up for adoption. But I will never promote abortion. I was an unexpected unwanted baby and still I am glad to be alive lovig and breathing and being on the earth. We all have a right to live from the moment we are conceived. I was adopted as you can imagine and I just can't imagine people saying to me that had my mint her wanted to get rid of me that's okay. Because like t or not I was once that fetus. I am now 18 and I have lots of dreams and ambitions nd I'm grateful my mother didn't take that away from me.

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  • thank you for not aborting your child

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  • This guy is a player and you can"t trust him. DON'T trust him! The only way is for you to forget about him and get an abortion. just think about it : if you do have this child you will be unhappy as you will be linked to him forever and since you like him more than he likes you he'll probably get off with other girls and that will make you upset. So you'll be a lonely mum and it will be harder to meet someone else;

    I don't think any child deserves to grow up in this kind of mess.

    Do get all the support you can from your friends and family though , as it will probably be a tough time ahead for you.

    I wish you the best of luck and future happiness with a guy that truly deserves you and the children you will raise together.

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    • I agree a child shouldn't grow up in that environment but killing it before it can experience it isn't right either. You are killing a baby because once that egg is fertilized it has a CHANCE of becoming a HUMAN being. I was Once an unwanted fetus. But now I am alive. You can't deny I'd be dead of my mom had an abortion. I would simply not be here! I'd be a bunch of dirt in the earth but nevertheless I'd be there. My life's been HARD but I am grateful to breathe each day and be here on earth!

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    • just because you are harbouring that life doesn't mean you have the right to destroy it. its like saying a mothers child is depressed, hates his/her life, wishes to die, and so she opts to kill him/her. that's wrong right? because no one should get to choose to kill another being.

    • A foetus isn't a human being, it is a tiny weeny start to a developing one, you cannot make this type of comparison! It is just cells grouped together that are growing, just like any other type of natural life. A human being has a conscience and a history, that's where the difference lies. It is just like saying that a seed is a fruit, it just isn't.

  • This guy doesn't sound supportive what so ever. Is this what you want for your future? I think not.

    Really REALLY think about that. I'm sorry that you have to deal with all of this drama in your life. I hope everything works out for you.

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  • abortion is your way to go...

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