How long does it take for a guy to forgive someone he dated for 2 months?

I met this guy on a dating site. We connected right off the bat. 2 months of glorious bliss, then I overracted when I found out he was sort of still browsing the dating site. I broke up with him, told him he might as well be checking out other girls while with me in public. I told him I was out of his league and to know how to better handle a real woman when he gets another chance. I also told him he would never amount to anything and he was a laborer (I KNOW THIS WAS WRONG!). I felt bad, I apologized with a Christmas card and a letter and a gift for his son. After that, we had 3 encounters where we slept together. I asked him what he thought about it and felt as it made me really miss him. He said he definitely misses me too, but not ready to commit. He left for a week to go home for the holidays. I did not contact him in anyway while he was gone, I even went on a date with a guy I met, BUT during the middle of my date he texts me "hey babe, how are ya", he text me while he was gone, that he missed me 6 times, calling me babe and sweetheart. We chatted a bit, typical conversations. He is back now, He wants to see me soon. How am I supposed to take this? When I asked what he thought, he said he didn't know and not ready to commit but he really likes me and enjoys my company. I am thinking one of two things. 1) he is putting me on the back burner and baiting me with this sweet talk, as I know he is still using the dating site and a friend of mine had talked to him and he lied to her that he wasn't talking to me and told her he had talked to me recently about wanting to work things out and he told me he doesn't want to, a lie and contradicting. or 2) Waiting to see if I go psycho on him again, as I admit, I really did cross a line with him, making fun of his profession/way of life. He is 3 years younger than me as well. I'm trying to move on. Its just really hard. I made a really big mistake and want him back. How am I to interpret his actions? GUYS?!


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I am thinking he's being overly cautious with you - waiting to see if another explosion is on the cards.

    In my opinion, you showed him how flighty and emotionally unstable you were, how immature you were - a girl who prefers to nuke the relationship as a first step and regret things afterwards.

    Girls like that are *not* suitable relationship material. They just aren't.

    So I can easily see him being cautious about committing to you, if he has any fears that that is the sort of girl you are.

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    • Is he being cautious or putting me on the back burner though, because he said he isn't ready to commit? Is he saying just to me or he wants to see what else is out there. I personallyt hink any girl would have reacted (NOT to the extent I did, but similiar) the same. I just came out of an 8 year relationship a year ago. So I'm not immature for a relationship. I just overracted.

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    • This guy is spot on. And your comments lead me to believe that your ex has good reason to be weary of you. 'if he had any value/etc...'

      What do you do for work?

    • I do medical billing

What Guys Said 2

  • I think he is still browsing the dating site, and why not, you slept with him even after you found out! Why would he have respect for you? You still are ga ga, even after you found out he lied to a friend of yours, obviously trying to get her in bed as well.

    I understand you said some indefensible things to him, but allowing him to toy with you to make up for it, isn't a good course of action.

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    • he tells me he isn't a player. I guess I could be seen as a liar too. I went on a date while he was gone and told the guy I dated someone for 2 months off a site and it just didn't work out. The guy assumes I don't talk to him anymore, he never asked though either.

      I still really care about this guy. I don't think he knows how the "sweet talks" is toying with my emotions and making me a wreck.

    • I think yu were telling the guy your dated the truth! iT'S NOT WORKING OUT!

  • You're emotionally unstable, he's better off without a hot head like you in his life just saying.

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    • This was a one time thing. Like I said, I've been in a relationship for 8 years. So obviously its not an everyday occurence.

    • One time to many, you screwed up...hothead

What Girls Said 1

  • You blew it by flying off the handle and makin yourself look like a crazy person. You were only 2 months in w this guy and nothing was established yet and you acted like he was cheating on you. If you wanted to be in a relationship w him you shoulda just had the "talk" before you went psycho on his ass. He is no longer interested in pursuing anything significant w you and can you blame him? He continues to sleep w you because he is a man and they have needs. He prob put you in the hook up/FWB category. If you don't like it then tell he you do not want to hang out w him anymore. Hopefully you learn from this so you do not make the same mistakes in the future.

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    • I've had a friends with benefits before, he never text me he missed me or called me sweetheart or babe. He started calling me these girlfriend pet names recently. we broke up in nov. I feel like he may be warming back up to me again. we have daily conversations at times, but then will stop for a day or two. but pick back up. I don't know what he wants. I just wanted to know if these were signs he was sort of getting over it. guys don't typically dwell on stuff like girls do. I thought anyways.

    • Yeah I've had FWB that called me babe and told me they missed me etc. Means absolutely nothing. Guys can be overly affectionate and loving and still only just want the booty. If you are wondering where his head is at then you need to have the talk so there is no confusion. My gut's tellin me he prob isn't seein anything serious w ya. I hope for your sake I'm wrong and if you guys do end up together then I hope you can relax this time and not sabotage yourself again:)

    • I think you are right. because he came back from out of town recently and he hasn't said one word to me. hadn't even bothered to see me. I am doing my best to cut off all ties.

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