Did she want to date? Her profile said friends?

I hate dating sites but use them a little bit because its next to impossible to meet a girl where I'm from. I'm just wondering about the girls who indicate they are looking for friends, or when they say they are looking to date but nothing serious. Do you mean that or are you still looking for a bf?

I'm curious because a girl emailed me out of the blue and her profile said friends. So I took it at face value. I told her we should hang out and she was excited. She asked where and I mentioned a coffee shop. She said okay but she never had a guy take her to a coffeeshop before. Our meeting lasted 20 minutes and she became very distant after that. Was she let down because she was looking for me to date her? Her profile said Friends. Should I have assumed she wanted to date because she contacted me?

I'd appreciate any thoughts and I always give out a best answer!


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I put friends/nothing serious on my profile. Why? Well, while I was looking to EVENTUALLY settle down, I was in no rush to be tied down, jump right in to romance, nor have guys approach me in a sexual manner. It seemed like an appropriate option. I just wanted to get to know guys, meet them in person and broaden my circle, since I knew I wasn't apt to meet other guys unless I was open to making new connections to potentially find it in.

    The dates I went on were still intended to check romantic interest though.

    I probably would have been off put and confused too, however, before going on a date, we'd talked at least enough times to imply we were getting to know one another on a 'potentially date one day' level, so through that, they had a heads up that friends meant...meeting and dating.

    And through this method, I met my current boyfriend within a month. By not getting serious or narrowing in on any one guy simply because there was obligation to get serious nor were they assuming me to put out, I got to gauge the compatibility and level of enjoyment more realistically. I had the space and time to make a choice and not put too much effort early on in any one direction and end up let down. It gave me time to decide how mutual the build was and whether it was equally reciprocated without any rush or excess expectations.

    It's a very effective approach for finding someone that matches best with you. It was a good foundation for dating and I highly recommend it. It's still working very well for me. Easily and truly the best relationship I've ever had.

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    • I wanted to get an answer from the point of view of a girl who chooses friends but is on the site to date, and you were the only one who fit that. Although I don't like the logic behind why this is done, you still get the best answer!

What Girls Said 6

  • It makes no sense to me why you would be on a dating site if you're not hoping for some kind of romantic experience with someone. Since when did we start to resort to finding "friends" on dating sites?

    Maybe she was simply indicating that she wasn't looking for anything serious at the moment with that status. Either way, I think coffee is a great way to feel someone out before going on an official date. These things can be awkward and quite frankly expensive and a short quick coffee date takes off the pressure.

    If she lost interest or grew distant after that initial encounter because you didn't take her to some fancy dinner of some kind, then I question her motives all together.

    If she was "really" looking for a friend, then coffee and great conversation should have been satisfactory. If however, you're looking for a chump to buy you big fancy dinners, buy you expensive things with no strings attached, then her reaction makes sense. Perhaps she simply didn't feel the sparks, but at this point, it's impossible to tell right? Speculation will only make you crazy.

    If she wanted more, than she should have been upfront about it. Quite frankly, some people don't really know what they want and it always makes a simple situation more complicated than it has to be. You shouldn't have to assume or guess what she wanted. You did what felt right and if your intentions were good, then that is all that matters.

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  • I would honestly have asked her about that. Get back in contact with her, if you like this girl mention to her that you had a good time and would like to see her again. You feel things went well and that there was a connection. If she doesn't respond then you have your answer.

    Then if you do get to meet her again, ask her about it. Ask her what she is looking for. Some people are not very clear about what they want on online dating.

    Hopefully things work out for you:)

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  • As a woman, if I were looking to date and used the dating site for that reason I would say I'm interested in dating.

    Would you put "friends" if you were looking for a date?

    Why does everyone assume that people in the dating world are speaking in code all the time?!

    I say what I mean! I'm not playing hard to get and I'm not "testing" you.

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  • They are looking for friends but are open to a relationship if one should happen.

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  • It means they're looking for a potential date but are also open to making friends on the site

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  • you can never be too sure without talking to her. Just try talking to her.

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What Guys Said 2

  • It says "Friends" on her profile because she wants to "filter" all the guys who'll come after her, and rather choose the guys who'll stand their grounds and pursue her. You're one of them, so you got the date.

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  • Usually when they say nothing serious they want a f*** buddy or a one night stand a lot of dating sites attract people looking for sex only

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