Someone please help me before I lose my mind

Ok so me and this guy have been friends for a few months and we both liked each other so we started talking and he's like the sweetest guy I've ever talk too. I like him a lot and he's always said he felt the same so the last time we hung out we decided to start dating and we were both really happy but I was scared to say yes at first because I'm kinda shy when it comes to getting close to people but he told me he doesn't want to get rejected by me so I still said yes even though I wasn't quite ready. But the prolblem happened when I went to leave he asked if he could kiss me and I wanted him too but my shyness kicked in and I, in his words, shut him down and really hurt his feelings so the next day he said its to awkward to date me and wants us to be friends and see where things go. But he stopped texting me like he was so I texted him and he said he still wants a chance with me and feels horrible about what happened and then he texted me the next day saying he missed talking to me and was acting all sweet but now he stopped and I tried texting him and he acts like he doesn't want to even talk to me. I want to try and tell him he's giving me mixed signals but I'm not sure if I should or just leave things alone. I really like him and don't want to lose him over not kissing him but he doesn't act like he wants to fix things so can someone please help I don't know what to do..


Most Helpful Guy

  • You said you both were shy, so that can kind of make things awkward when you are around someone you have feelings for. It sounds like he feels the exact same way toward you that you do toward him. Because you are both shy and are into each other, you both have a constant worry that you will do something wrong and the other will get chased away. From what you posted it sounds like you both are at that stage. I don't mean to make assumptions, but are you both new to dating and relationships? I just ask because everyone goes through that stage. He probably felt embarrassed about the kissing shyness, and being a guy he probably is being a lot harder on himself, thinking he ruined it. So if he seems distant with the texting, he is probably still embarrassed and doesn't know quite how to recover. He probably totaly blames himself for what happened. So don't think it is you, or anything you did. Don't start doubting yourself. You have to realize that when guys get embarrassed, especially in front of a girl we like, we beat ourselves up like nothing else until we feel shamefu, we feel like we just screwed it all up beyond repair...and he probably is not ready to face it again. He feels more nervous now when it comes to talking to you, not because of you but becasue he is blaming himself If you know that he feels the same towards you, that you do toward him, what you have to do is, if you are still interested in him, make the first move to kiss him, just don't think about it. He is busy beating himself up, so you need to show him, not text or call, show him by kissing him when he least expects it. I know it's a bold move, but if you get over your shyness and do this, he will forget about anything he was blaming himself for, Because you showed him, that he didn't fail. I hope this helps. Good luck

    • He's not new to dating I am and that's why I'm kinda shy with him. He's very outspoken and open about everything and that's why I feel like it was me who messed things up. I told him the reason I didn't let him kiss me and at first he was fine with it and said he'd wait but then he flips and said its to awkward. I don't know but thank you for the advise it honestly helped.


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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 3

  • If he is as sweet as you are saying he is, then he would understand you like to take things slow. Just explain to him that. Text him one last time and tell him you are sorry, but you like to take things slow. If he can't respect that and act like an adult, then you are better off girlie.

  • Sounds like his ego got bruised. Maybe try explaining you were super shy and you were worried about taking things quickly. It may be too late though honestly...some guys are super weird about their egos. If this is the case, he wasn't the one for ya! What were you so afraid of when it came to kissing him anywho? Do ya really like the guy?

  • I suggest take things slow give him some time sweetie. Actually set up time to talk about how he really feels about you, and if the feelings are not mutual keep him as simply a friend man's ego is such a precious thing, being rejected is very tough for them, but in the same sense doesn't mean you should rush things! If he cannot accept that you want to take things slow keep this as just a friendship. As for your shyness it is very normal you will grow to find yourself comfortable and confident with the right man, and this will be easy.

    • I apologized right after it happened and he said it was fine but flipped and then said it was awkward but then said he was scared he ruined his chances with me. But I never though about his ego... And he's got a big one, I feel bad and told him that and he said he understands but is still distant. But I really do want a chance with him so ill do like you said and meet him in person, thank you for helping me.