Should I text him and what would you recommend I say?

In late November, a guy I've been hanging out with came to my house and met my family. Neither of us were at our best, as he was hung over and I was exhausted. He had been acting more couple-y with me - putting his arm round me when we walk, listening to me when I'm down, meeting my parents, kissing me...well he had to leave so I saw him to the door and awkwardly looked around for the outdoor light switch for a good few minutes and then he said quietly, "It doesn't matter", turned me round and we kissed. After a minute or two, his tongue was in my mouth. I've only kissed a guy once and that was him! I barely knew what it was! Basically I was so surprised that I didn't reciprocate the tongue action, and contact has been less frequent since then, although he did ask me the next week what I was doing over the weekend which I took to mean as a casual "would you be interested in hanging out again?". We've not seen each other since and now its January. I sent a couple of texts, neither of which he replied to. He's never been much of a texter, but this still seems a little strange. I want to text him in the next few day because I'm worried that we've really split, although we were never officially "boyfriend-girlfriend" - I just want some closure if that's the case so I can move on etc. Its Valentine's Day next month too so I kind of just want to know what's going on, what to expect, etc. His last text was in mid-December. I'd really like to know your thoughts on sparking off a nice conversation with him that will maybe make him think I'm not so bad after all. And do you think its worth it? What do you think is going on? Did he hate that I didn't use my tongue so much that he doesn't want to see me again? Did he think it meant that I wouldn't ever, or that I didn't like him enough to do that? This is my first relationship of any kind at the tender age of 17, so I'd really like some help! :)


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What Guys Said 2

  • It's not because of your tongue that you're having problems.

    It's not a good idea to deal with this dilemma through texting. It''s best if you can hang out again and have personal talks. You can also see there if he's willing to move things forward with you. That would lead to an increase rate of texting between the two of you which will be much more enjoyable.

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    • Thank you for your answer.I probably wasn't being very clear - I'm not planning on confronting him about anything via text. My reason for wanting to text him is really just to re-establish contact and test the waters, as I don't really know what's going on. I don't know if he'll even respond if I ask him to hang out. But if we did hang out I can see that things would probably be much clearer. Where I'm at with my text is "Hey:) how are you? Its been a while, how are things ?" - any thoughts?

  • You need to phone him if he isn't answering texts and arrange to meet up. These things need to be discussed face-to-face.

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    • That makes a lot of sense - but would you be nervous if you were in that position and I rang you? We have only ever rung each other when its absolutely necessary - like "where are you? Can't see you and we were supposed to meet 20 minutes ago" kind of emergency things. If you were trying to cut me off, or were annoyed with me, would you feel a bit nervous? Its definitely a thought. What would you say if you were me in this position? Not sure how I would word things if I rang...

    • If I were you I'd just call him an go "Hey, we haven't had a chance to see each other for a while, do you want to get coffee or something?" Keep it casual. Ask him how he is, small talk and so on.

      If he wants to meet up, arrange a time and place, and then see how things go. Talk to him, maybe tell him you like him. Or maybe you make the move & kiss him, that will definitely be appreciated! He's probably just massively embarrassed that he pushed it to far because you didn't reciprocate last time

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