How to make a date not seem like 20 questions

ok so I've come up with a few questions to ask a girl if I go on a date. They are open ended questions where she can come up with more than just a yes or no response but I'm still kind of afraid the date will end up seeming more like an interrogation then actual conversation. Do you get annoyed when a guy keeps asking questions? I mean how else do you learn about the other person right? I guess the other solution is to pick a date that involves something else to fill in the time so it won't seem like one big questionare. Any thoughts on this?

Updates:
Also shouldn't the girl be asking me questions in return also?

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Most Helpful Girl

  • A date can be daunting for this reason. It's hard to make conversation when you don't know this person. But hopefully they will be able to open up a little with you and keep a conversation going without you having to ask all the questions.

    I don't get annoyed when someone is asking me questions. Especially when it's a date, because on a date it's kind of implied that they want to get to know you and questions will need to be asked.

    Maybe instead of a restaurant date, try doing an activity. This way you can still ask the occasional question but you have something else to focus on to also help facilitate conversation and get to know her better. Go to a pottery class, mini golf, site seeing tour, obstacle course, wine and food show, anything that will take your mind off having to make conversation. It should then just flow naturally. Yes there might be some awkward silence at some points, but that's normal. It won't last forever.

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    • @Update: that's why I suggested an activity, you both should ideally be making conversation and asking each other questions. If she isn't then she's not that good at having a conversation, or isn't that interested. Some people lack social skills, but she should at least have a few questions. If not just ask her, "what questions do you have for me?" Offer up information to get the conversation started. If she seems receptive then hopefully she will be asking you questions too :)

What Girls Said 10

  • If there is chemistry between you, it won't feel like an interrogation. Like other people have said, usually questions and answers leave room for stories, which fill in the gaps so that you aren't just constantly asking questions. We like to talk about ourselves so it is good to ask questions! Based on some of her answers, you and her will both probably think of related stories and things like that to talk about, and yes she will probably ask you questions too! If you guys don't really match up well, it will be awkward regardless of what you do haha.

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  • Well... this is a great question. I think if there's no chemistry... you can't really save it lol you guys just may not be meant for one another... BUT -- if you kinda like her and are interested see her again.. maybe the more you see each other the more things you'll find to "talk about" :D

    Don't try too hard.. if the date is not going swell don't beat yourself up about it.. they probably just aren't meant for you lol but if you wanna give it a try just be yoruself and see where things go.. don't try to make them go somewhere.. just be you and let them be them and if you feel a connection GREAT :D but if not oh well

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  • I actually love the 20 questions game. I think its cool. I look at as a way to get to know someone in detail right up front. And you can incorporate it into your date. What I've noticed is that the questions are less interrogation sounding when the person you are playing the game with connects with you on a certain level. Most of the time you end up with little stories that go along with the answers.

    And you are right. How else are you supposed to learn about the other person unless you ask questions. I prefer dates that have time where we can actually talk. The traditional movie date is cool; but it leaves little room for conversation.

    I'm sure those questions that you have are really important because it gets at the heart of the type of woman you are looking for. And yes she should be asking questions as well.

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  • Pick something to do that is activity based until you two get comfy with each other to the point where the two of you can just hang around one another without talking. On those activity dates, of course you can ask her questions but you can switch in between asking/answering questions to doing the task on hand.

    My guy and I did things like go ice-skating (GREAT first date!), go to the zoo, walk around downtown at night (lights and it was around Christmas time), rock climbing, bowling, movies.

    Then we moved up a notch and started hanging out at each others' houses, watching movies, playing the xbox, cuddling, etc :)

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  • It lets her know you're interested in her. we really like that. but make sure you throw maybe a joke or something funny that happened to you in there. oh, and try to relate with her with some of your questions such as "do you like roller coasters?" if she says yes then start asking what's her favorite theme park, which ones has she been to and invite her to one she hasn't been to sometime. I just had a guy do this to me and it was really nice. :)

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  • I actually enjoy the question game, like if you actually say "Hey, lets play 20 questions!" but you should go first lol I may just be weird, maybe I like being interrogated. xD or interrogating others.

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    • Yeah well I thought girls didn't like this and I guess found it boring after a while. Maybe not though but I guess it depends on the girl.

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    • Then do you want to go out sometime? lol J/k.

    • Haha I wouldn't date someone I met online. :P might be a creeper.

  • That's why I prefer to go on a date where we DO or SEE something we both like. That way, you have something common to fall back on..

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  • Pick something that's an activity (that you both like, ideally). Something with action works... (this can be anything from skating to bowling to paintball to even tree climbing in a park if you were up to it). This way you don't have to talk much, and you can still learn about this girl's attitude and other aspects - whatever you care to observe.

    Other things that aren't very action-based could be activities like going to the movies/a concert, zoo, museum (science museums are fun, if the girl is into art etc. this is ideal). Festive walks are great - e.g. during the Christmasy period - when you can just walk around the neighbourhood and look at everything around you.

    Honestly I really don't mind if someone keeps asking questions. After a while, there will probably be something that we both can discuss (which is good!). If it's really like an interrogation, that's really awkward.

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  • focus on connecting.. make her laugh... you can even ask a generic question. Then laugh about it like "I'm only doing this because it's what I'm supposed to do" If the connection is there it will feel effortless. If not then maybe she's not for you.

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  • This is why I hate first dates. It literally is "20 questions".

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    • I guess other than doing some activity that keeps you entertained there really isn't much you can do to avoid constantly asking questions until you get a little report built and talk about other things.

    • Exactly. But dinner time is a given so the "20 questions" are going to come up.

What Guys Said 2

  • It's a big big turn off for a girl if a guy asks a lot of questions.

    Use statements instead of questions. If you are rearing to ask "Where are you from?" Say "I bet you're not around here and I think you're from Minnesota." Whether you're correct or not, she'll be amused why you got that guess, and will be even amazed when you got Minnesota right.

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  • asking questions is leading a conversation and that's what you should be doing. make her feel like your qualifying her by these questions so make them good questions

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