Why don't guys pick up their dates anymore?

This guy asked me out and wants me to meet him at the restaurant. I believe the guy should pick up the girl. If a guy doesn't I don't consider it a date. Should I tell him to pick me up? What should I do?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Sometimes it comes down to being "safe" ... I think many guys are fearful of seeming creepy wanting to know where you live. And, as a woman, you might consider that a good thing... do you really want some guy you just met to know where you live before you know if he's a stalker or not?

    That being said, if you're comfortable I think is't safe to ask something like this, "That's great! Is there any chance you can pick me up?" If he can't then perhaps he's not as mobile as you.

    One last thought... it's possible that these guys are nervous YOU'RE the stalker and they want to meet in a neutral location that they can escape from quickly should the date turn boring... because it would suck to have to drive you home if you're creepy. :D

    ~ Robby

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What Guys Said 9

  • It's because they only have the money to pay for the date, and doesn't have any extras to pick you up. Or I think he doesn't have an obligation to pick you up because you're still not in a relationship with each other.

    If you really want him to pick you up, tell him subtly like " I would love for you to pick me up next time. I would really appreciate that."

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  • Actually I think most girls don't want to be picked up on the first date. That's because the girl is looking out for her safety.

    If the guy has to pick her up, then he knows where she lives before they even begin the date. And the girl probably doesn't want the the guy to know where she lives until they've been on a few dates and she knows him better.

    And like others said, it gives the girl an easy exit if she has to cut the date short.

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  • I don't know. Most single people I know live right downtown, and nobody drives.

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  • Cuz equality, that's why.

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  • Because that would interfere with the right for women to be equal to men.

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  • I believe that is nonsense and a date is supposed to be about the activity you're doing to spend time together and get to know each other, and not the way you actually get there.

    But with such preconceptions at hand, the best advice I could offer him is, "run while you still can".

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  • Tell him you're an old fashioned girl and you want to be picked up and dropped off home, and if he's a gentleman, he'll do it.

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  • If it's a FIRST date, then this is the modern gentlemanly thing to do, and I'll explain why.

    1. It gives you an easy out if you decide the date is going badly. You can make up some bullsh*t excuse and excuse yourself without having to have him drive you home.

    2. It gives you a chance to "preview" him before you decide to give him your home address. With all of the bullsh*t going on the world today with stalkers and other weirdos. It allows you to retain a certain level of security.

    Picking you up is likely something that will normally begin happening on the second date.

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  • How long have you known him?

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What Girls Said 5

  • For a first date with a guy I didn't know too well, I'd actually prefer to drive myself. Then I can leave when I want, and he doesn't know where I live.

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  • I agree that a guy should pick up his date. It just seems more considerate and that he's actually putting in some effort and truly wants to spend the time with her. You can still meet him there if you like him, but sometime during the night, you should tell him how you feel. You can't expect him to know unless you tell him.

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  • eh idk, but I prefer meeting a guy for a first date. I don't know why but too me its seems odd for them to pick me up the first time we hangout. maybe I just feel bad cause my house is super outta the way lol

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  • Really?

    I rather drive. If the date became disastrous or I have decided I don't like him anymore. I can leave without the awkwardness being in the car with him.

    Also, just in case for my own safety.

    - Just tell him. He might think he has to kiss your ass.

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  • Girl,I'm with you. If they don't pick us up,it.is.not.a DATE!

    Tho I had one pick me up a long time ago. it was nice:))

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