I was done so wrong by this guy but was I wrong for dumping him?

i never been dragged down through the road before by any guy. my last relationship before the guy I just turned alose from was abusive. he beat me with his gun and stalked me everywhere I went. I always be careful with who I date but it seems like they change once in a relationship. this guy who I recently broken up with was with me for over 6 years now. people change over the years it seems like. I feel pathetic and dumb because since last year I feel stupid for pouring my heart out and making mistakes I thought I was not going to make and doing things I couldn't picture myself doing because I tried to fix things. he dogged me last year. he's now with this girl and they been together for 2 months now. she's 4 years younger than him and next month she will be 5 years younger than him. I don't know what she has that I dont...she also just moved in with him and his parents. she tells all her business in every detail on the internet. they go out on dates together and movies and take pictures together. but I don't see any pictures of her from him at all nowhere anywhere...she don't even drive he take her everywhere...i be glad when she gets deployed...im trying to figure out what she has that I dont...was I wrong for dumping him?

Most Helpful Guy

  • The only think you did wrong was staying with the guy for so long in the first place. A relationship should not be abusive, and it should not be full of angst and stress. If the guy wasn't treating you right, and wasn't willing to talk about it and then have his actions back up his promises, then the ONLY smart thing to do is leave.

    I have a feeling that you are CHOOSING abusive guys whether you realize it or not. If you grew up in a household where the male figure was abusive, then that's a very common thing (to choose abusive men yourself). Even though abusers are bad, when people grow up seeing that, it becomes what they think of as "normal" and it's all they are comfortable with, and so they naturally find themselves being attracted to guys who have abusive qualities, even if they don't realize it. Guys who are good guys seem boring or uninteresting to girls who are used to abusers, and so they are naturally drawn to guys who are more like what they know.

    At least you are starting to recognize this, and that's the first step to changing it. You need to learn that no matter how much you think you love a guy, if he is abusing you or ignoring you or not taking you seriously, he's not good for you. That's not normal or healthy in a relationship, and it's up to you to demand better treatment, or seek better treatment elsewhere. And to do that, you have to KNOW that you deserve better, and have enough backbone to TALK to the guy the first time he treats you badly, and let him know you don't tolerate that, and if it continues, to leave him. No one else can save you from your poor choices than yourself, so you've GOT to find that strength within you.

    • please reread what I said...i was not talking about this guy beating me with his pistol that was the guy before him so why did you right all of this this guy hasn't abused me 0 times

    • This current guy isn't physically abusive, but he was being emotionally abusive by treating you badly, ignoring you, and not respecting or appreciating you. That's what concerns me.