i never been dragged down through the road before by any guy. my last relationship before the guy I just turned alose from was abusive. he beat me with his gun and stalked me everywhere I went. I always be careful with who I date but it seems like they change once in a relationship. this guy who I... Show More
Most Helpful Guy
The only think you did wrong was staying with the guy for so long in the first place. A relationship should not be abusive, and it should not be full of angst and stress. If the guy wasn't treating you right, and wasn't willing to talk about it and then have his actions back up his promises, then the ONLY smart thing to do is leave.
I have a feeling that you are CHOOSING abusive guys whether you realize it or not. If you grew up in a household where the male figure was abusive, then that's a very common thing (to choose abusive men yourself). Even though abusers are bad, when people grow up seeing that, it becomes what they think of as "normal" and it's all they are comfortable with, and so they naturally find themselves being attracted to guys who have abusive qualities, even if they don't realize it. Guys who are good guys seem boring or uninteresting to girls who are used to abusers, and so they are naturally drawn to guys who are more like what they know.
At least you are starting to recognize this, and that's the first step to changing it. You need to learn that no matter how much you think you love a guy, if he is abusing you or ignoring you or not taking you seriously, he's not good for you. That's not normal or healthy in a relationship, and it's up to you to demand better treatment, or seek better treatment elsewhere. And to do that, you have to KNOW that you deserve better, and have enough backbone to TALK to the guy the first time he treats you badly, and let him know you don't tolerate that, and if it continues, to leave him. No one else can save you from your poor choices than yourself, so you've GOT to find that strength within you.