Guys - How can I let him down easy?

I just started seeing this guy and he is getting really serious really fast. He is way more interested in me than I am in him, and he is constantly pressuring me to invite him to my home. He has major emotional issues that he is using prescription drugs to address, for example we have never gone out without him being drugged up on Valium; I don't need someone with this much baggage.

He has told everyone in his life about me and how important I am to him. He brought up engagement rings on our second date! Not at all the direction I'm going, even if I was interested in him!

I don't want to tear him apart, I just want to be free of him. The thought of another date looms in my mind as a threat to learn more awful things about him.

Any suggestions to let him down easy?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • there is really no "easy" way to get rid of a clingy guy, I was just reading a girl who can not stop this guy from bothering her, so desperate and needy, he won't move on, and she was still feeling pity for him, that is very nice of you girls, but you said it, you do not have to go through that, the problem is letting them down "easy", my best female friend would always be like like this, and in return, she has a pair (more) of clingy guys she can not get rid of, in fact it came to the point that one of those guys would show up at her house, bother her parents, a mess, then she yelled at him, cold, cruel, but it was too late, she was cut-throat but the guy still was like "you are blinded by anger, I'll come to see you later my sweet girl", likem totally on denial, but I warned her more than once, do not kindly let those guys down, even if you coldly and bluntly rejected them they would still find the way to cling to you, there was one episode of Malcolm in the Middle, in which Craig (who always had a crush with the mom) would let her know he loves Lois, and she was like "well, this is going to hurt me more than you but you listen, NO, NO to everything you said, no to any 'what if?', no to your dreams and expectations, and if I have to cause you pain I would, again, is for your own good, it won't happen, aknowledge it, accept it, deal with it" and you guessed, not even that stopped him, but then again, that's the best you can do, be as cold and crude as you have to, and even then he may not get it

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What Guys Said 3

  • Just tell him subtly and gently.

    Like "I'm sorry but I can't see us getting together. I think we have to go on our separate ways." Something like that. Telling him bluntly will also be painful for him, but it's a good way because it will stop him from making sacrifices for you.

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  • "easy" would likely make him think he still has a chance. Just be honest, give constructive feedback if you want, and make it clear that it is permanent, and that there is no chance of getting back together. I would also suggest that you cut off all contact.

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