How can I stop blaming myself for my rejection? I'm a female

I've never had a boyfriend in my life, so I've never really had much experience with guys. I'm a social and fun person, I'm sweet and kind hearted. I'm a girl who is down to earth, non materialistic and many people say I'm fun and funny. Yet sometimes around guys I like I get a bit nervous. Anyway, I've never really had many people to teach me about dating, I've learned about it all through experience. There was this guy who I dated, and after barely getting to know me, he already sort of rejected me--- (Stopped calling). I've been on a total of one dinner date, and one coffee date with him. I didn't do anything wierd, wasn't disrespectful, insult him, or act unclassy. I don't know what I did, but every time I get rejected, I blame it on myself. I feel that I'm a good catch and that if he didn't like me, I must have made some sort of dating mistake or something! It's been a year, and I'm still trying to get over him because I like him so much. Every day I am sad because I feel I blew it with him. Although I learn from each and every experience, it still depresses me that it's too late, and I'll never have him. I don't meet many guys on a regular basis, so when I lost him, It hurt a lot.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Stop blaming yourself for the rejection. Remember, some guys will not like you no matter what however, some guys will like you no matter what. Things just kind of got out of your control with your recent date. It's not your fault. You didn't see it coming.

    Be optimistic. There's a lot of guys there who will prefer you over other girls. You just need to hang out a lot. Plan your activities with your friends. Perhaps, one of your mutual friends has a friend that will be a guy who will rescue your jaded heart.


What Guys Said 13

  • Who knows why he didn't call again?

    Maybe he had met someone else..sp don't blame yourself. There's nothing 'wrong'' with you or what you did. You just are letting guys pick you...and you should be out looking to pick a guy YOU like.

    You don't have to be aggressive, but the day when girls could just sit on a pedestal and guys would throw themselves down at their feet, are over...You have to start meeting guys halfway.

  • You've heard this a million times and you're not going to like it, but you're young and it's normal. Many folks have been in your situation who were much older and have more reason to despair, assuming it is worth despairing. Be patient and enjoy life, your times for that will come.

  • Keep waiting for that right one. There's absolutely nothing wrong with not having a boyfriend yet. It sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders and any guy would be lucky to have a girl like you. So stay the course and just enjoy life and your friends.

    Some boys just don't like to make the first move. So if you are now interested in dating, ask a guy out. .. Be flirty, fun, and have some personality! Make the boys notice you now that your ready to kiss, hold hands, hug, and date. Be open. :) confident remember guys love confident girls & confidence is surely your key to unlock the door

  • You know, I have been rejected by a lot of girls in the past.

    There is not all that much you can do about it, I can't force anyone to like or love me.

    All you can do is move on, it's easier said than done, but being rejected once or more in the past will make you stronger if you were to be rejected in the future.

    Don't try to search for love, otherwise it won't show up. When you do stop searching for it, that's when it will come out.

    It is NOT your fault for being rejected. Nor is it mine for being rejected.

    Be confident, drop that guy out of the picture because he is more than likely not be coming back to you. There are tons of guys out there, some that are probably better than him.

    Be strong!

  • Have you initiated the calls & texts its not one sided. also try to be more outgoing an have fun. Love is always around the corner and remember this.

    The Right Guy won't pass you by.

  • The only way to get over a guy is to truly move on. The best way to do that is to contact him one last time and tell him how you feel. If he says no, then you've gotten your closure.

  • Well, the worst thing you can do is obsess over it. I tried that and it didn't work out too well.

  • You said you've had options but didn't like any of them. Maybe you should have given them a chance. Or you can keep holding out for someone out of your league and continue to be depressed about being alone.

    • Maybe you should wait for the right time to get the right guy..

    • She can hold out for the right guy if that's what she wants to do, but then there's no point about complaining that you don't have a boyfriend .

  • you are just 19. a long time to go. don't be so much frustrated. you sound like a woman in mid fourties xD .
    just wait for the right guy :)
    since you are pretty :) you'll get pleanty of guys

  • how old are you? because I just turned 25 and I'm still single unfortuneately

  • when you will get rid of your sadness then you will stop blaming yourself

  • there are ugly guys like me who never had a girlfriend a date or a girl friend .


What Girls Said 4

  • I saw this great quote that I think is actually very appropriate for this situation. "You could be the most beautiful, ripest peach in the world, but there will always be someone who doesn't like peaches." It also means that you can find someone who LOVES peaches. I feel like I can relate to your situation; I've been there. But honestly, it has nothing to do with you as far as the rejection goes. People look for different things. And who wants a guy that doesn't like them? When you do find the perfect guy, he will love you completely. :) So don't worry about the guy who doesn't. There are so many better opportunities out there!

  • I did actually feel that way before. Guys I went to high school with chased me all the time. But I just wasn't interested in any of them. So I never dated all through high school. Didn't even have my first kiss until I was 18 years old. I didn't get my first real boyfriend until I was 20. We've been together since April.

    I did feel like I was going to be alone forever. I worried about it every single day.

    But then one day I made the decision to stop torturing myself over it. There's no point in it. Either it will happen or it won't. It'll most likely happen. Not very many people go their entire lives without ever dating anyone. But either way, you don't know what's going to happen, and there's no point in crying yourself sleep over it.

    You need to change your mindset. Don't think of it as something other people "deserve" and you don't. There's no need for that.

  • In my opinion, I think you are not a girlfriend type of a girl but more like a friend zoned type... cause you are fun and sweet... Sometimes guys like to get rejected and chase the girl. So don't be too nice.. I understand you are hurt but you need to move on, there are plenty of fish out there.

  • On your first date, try to do something that will catch his eye make him want to see more of you. I don't go on second dates if he was boring or dull.
    I'm sure you'll get a boyfriend at some point..