Black guy, white girl?

Why does black guys parents not care what race he dates?

But, White girls parents don't like her to date black guys. Why do they think it is such a big deal?

I am talking to a black guy and I am white.

How should I tell them I like black guys?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Actually, there are a lot of black parents who don't want their children dating white people. And it's actually for some of the same reasons that white parents have. Like another poster said, it's that old-school idea of racial preservation. Some white people are afraid that the white race will disappear with the rise in interracial relationships and some black people fear the same for their own race. Slavery and the Jim-Crow era has also left a bad taste in a lot of peoples' mouths so that has a lot to do with it. It's just that the media usually only shows white parents disapproving. But let it be known that a lot of Black parents do disapprove also. But don't let that discourage your interest in this guy. I don't even think you need to tell your parents that he's black. Racism is real and telling them ahead of time might cause them to judge him before they even get to know him. Just introduce him to them when you feel the time is right and let them see firsthand how amazing this guy is for you.

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What Guys Said 11

  • Because most people are old fashioned and since we are still apart of a generation where people don't care about the race factor, the previous generation was around when race was a factor in the dating world, They try to reject that idea.

    Some black parents do get upset when their daughter/son dates someone who is outside of their race, I had that issue with my mother when I was young but Overtime, She learned to accept it, so what you have to do is stand by your views and ideals, eventually they will learn to accept it.

    My advice, just tell them you're interested in all kinds of races because you have seen handsome men of all races and you don't think race should matter anymore.

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  • The generation of our parents still have the "racial preservation" idea ingrained in them.

    Our generation has the "we're all human; race doesn't matter" idea ingrained in us.

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    • That's a bold assumption. Ideas and ways of thinking are passed down, so I'd disagree with you on that one.

    • Through media influence, the vast majority of our generation in the USA are indoctrinated with the "globalization; race doesn't matter, we're all people" ideology.

      Of course with some ppl, the media influence clashes with the "racial preservation" ideology of that person's parents; this is where the conflict and confusion occur in said person.

  • Okay, it's obvious you're a White woman and he's a Black man. Lets just take race out the equation for a minute. Address to your parents the positive qualities he has, and how happy he makes you. If he treats you well and respectfully, then these should be the points to focus on. Let his personality and the way he treats you be the selling points to your parents, not his race.

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  • To be honest, I can't speak for black women, or any woman for that matter, but for men we have to be just that. We don't need to be babied forever. As a black man, I can tell you we get to an age where we realize and appreciate the role of a parent, but require manhood. Black men lust for manhood. A part of manhood is making your own choices. A parent is there to guide you in the right direction for some time. When you feel you have grown and can start making your own decisions, only then should they lax on the choice judgement. A true parent will love you REGARDLESS. I could wake up tomorrow and tell my mother that I'm not digging chicks anymore, I'm going to start dating men. My mother would not love me any less. She may not like it, but at the end of the day, the only thing that changes is who he decides to date.
    Let me tell you how things went with my black parent. I was fortunate enough to be alright with the ladies, so I had some fun dating. One day my mom up and said her feelings at the time, "Why do you have all of these women around my house? (She was I was 16 when we had our first talk. I had to tell her that she needs to get off that old way of thinking. I don't want to hinder any chances of true love in my lifetime. You never know who that one is until you meet them. You cut that criteria in half when you block out an entire race of people. I only have one life and one chance to be a man. Trust that I won't bring anything crazy around you. Now she can't even remember saying what she said. It is up to you and him to prove that the devil is a lie. They say that the tv is the devil for many reasons. That's just one of them. God Bless

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  • My mom flipped out when she found out I liked black guys. I think she was just getting use to the fact that I was gay but when I brought home a guy I was dating whom happen to be black. She got mad But like the others say parents get over it. My dad doesn't talk to me much cause it these days but my mom git cool with it. Good luck.

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    • thats good to here she got used to it. I want my relationship to be like that. because my parents seem the exact same way.

  • My parents generally don't care, but I know they're concerned when I like white girls (my father even assumes girls are white once I tell him I got rejected). Plus, I know they'd be upset if I don't marry a black or at least Hispanic girl.

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  • Because a white womans womb is a black mans revenge (for slavery)

    I would never ever approve of my daughter being with a black under no circumstances. (if I ever have one)

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    • Are you one of those people that believes in the theory about "pure" Caucasians being bred out of existence because of white females interracially dating and/or having less children compared to other races?

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    • Trust me Don, this guy is pretty much one of those lower echelon member in our society. He's basically ranting about not being able to get a girl. He went from only wanting a White woman and a belief that interracial relationships should be illegal to they're okay as long as it doesn't involve Blacks to thinking an Asian woman would seriously want him. The man is a bit confused and not wanting help to become a better person. I guess I could be mad, but in reality, I feel rather sorry for him.

    • I agree with your last sentence VoiceOfReason.

  • Hahahaha probably because we have back bones. I am kidding, its not that they dont care... its just their child will be a child for only so long. I love my mother with all my heart, but she has to let a man be a man. She babied me when I was younger, but she has to let me live on my own, make my own decisions. With women it is different, but men... we have to be that.. MEN! My mom trust I won't bring any crazy chick around her so as long as I'm happy and the chick isn't crazy, its all good. peace

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  • Stop being such a whore.

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  • It would be the exact ssme if a white guy was dating their black daughter. they would go nuts

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  • Black guys and white girls lust after each other and sometimes have other ulterior motives. Plus, they have the stereotypes and image (bad boy thing going on) that they have, which are popular with women and not so popular with parents. It seems natural that they would be a little skeptical. Most parents are that way with their daughters regardless of their race. It's not something that just white girls go through and it's not something that just girls that date black guys go through. It's especially the case with fathers, because they may feel that that reflects on how you see him.

    Just come out with it. It seems like many many white girls lean that way, so I doubt it will come as a huge surprise.

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What Girls Said 8

  • First of all, please don't stereotype because your statement isn't 100% true. My parents wouldn't be phased by the race of the person I was dating, so long as they were a good person and they treated me kindly.

    If you want to warm your folks up to the idea, tell them about all the reasons you like him. Create a good image for him that includes admirable things about him, how well he treats you, his good qualities (perhaps he's responsible, or treats all people with respect, or is a hard worker, etc..) if he's a great guy, make that known to them.

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  • Just be real casual about it like your doing nothing wrong!

    I just have had racist parents that were against intereaacial dating and I have almost always dated black men and they threw me out of the house for it...that just made me go with black men more. The more they pushed me away the more I was drawn to black men and when they saw that they begged me to come back and live at home!

    Just saying everything will be allright and my parents were just extreme but your still their daughter you know

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  • My parents would kill me if I dated a black guy. Its just the stereotype that goes along with their image, you know? Like they are all thugs, criminals, gangsters, low education, bad family life, etc.

    And in all honesty, its kind of true too. Most black men/women are uneducated and have a really bad lifestyle. I'm not surprised that any race doesn't want their daughter dating a black man.

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    • Call me a racist for simply stating facts? Eh, I don't care.

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    • I agree cutiepieguy it's sad how people still talk and think like that.

    • I gave you an up vote for being an idiot. Judging by the other votes, there are more idiots for you to befriend. I have a BA in computer science from the... Tennessee State University. (Just saying) Your parents must be extremely racist. (being from the deep south that doesn't come as a surprise) I on the other hand don't think the same applies to you. You may be ignorant, but too young to be racist. If you still still thought this way at 35/40, then you would receive your race card. That would mean, through all those years you've had to change that warped matrix world you were taught. To learn, explore, experience the real world... you have chosen to waste those time and opportunities. The fact that you are over the age of 20 and are still on that "my parents" routine is the worst part. I'm surprised you didn't say you're still getting breast fed. Clearly not that much has changed since then, you can't think on your own, nor make your own decisions. Blessings.

  • This is coming from a white girl who has dated several black guys. In my opinion, the reason a lot of white parents don't like their daughters (or sons) dating black people is that it violates tradition. Think about it. You're in your 20's. When our parents were in their twenties, it was pretty much still taboo to date someone outside of their race. Then they had kids and now their kids are doing something they never really even thought about doing. It doesn't mean they're racist, per se. I don't consider my parents to be racist, even though they don't necessarily love that I date black guys. It's just not what they're used to. Can we really blame them? Maybe a little bit. But honestly our kids will probably be doing things in 25 years that we don't like. So let's save the hate and focus on the reality. The reality is that our parents might not understand. But if they really love us they'll accept it. And that's how it will become NORMAL. Which it is.

    P. S. This works both ways, people. There are plenty of black parents who don't want their children dating white people either

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    • You put that the best way. And your right my parents aren't racist they just don't like interracial relationships. Like you said their not used to it. But if they love us they will accept it!!

      Definitely agree with you on all that. Thank you for such a good answer.

  • I am talking to a black guy that I'm very attracted too. Black is s totally different race than any other. They are less judgmental because they do things a little less careless than white people are. It's just like that. Tell them, if they disown you there piece of shit. Excuse me.

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  • Don't tell him you like "black guys", tell him you like him! His skin color shouldn't matter.

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  • Stupidity

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  • Plain ignorance

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