How come guys are more willing to risk the friendship by dating a girl than girls are?

Anyone else notice that? it seems that when a guy and a girl are friends and they both develop feelings, the guy is usually more willing to risk it by asking her out than the girl is.

Why do you think that is?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • How come guys are more willing to risk the friendship by dating a girl than girls are?

    Probably because:

    - it seems most guys are way better at being a friend than a boyfriend

    - the relationship is likely going to end so she may think why bother starting something that's just going to end and won't be any more special/different than the rest

    - he was never interested in being her friend but f*cking her so understandably he's more willing to get a chance at f*cking her than remain her friend and not f*ck her

    - he can easily go back to being friends with someone he f*cked as guys easily compartmentalize sex while many gals can't thus it'll be awkward for them to remain friends with someone they got f*cked by

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What Girls Said 13

  • I'm willing to risk a friendship for a relationship. I feel like a relationship is just extra friendship with fooling around included. Every time I've said this to a guy, I usually said it to avoid saying, "I don't find you attractive," or something like this. I actually thought both men and women used, "I don't want to risk the friendship," as an excuse to not date without sounding mean to a friend.

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  • Guys are willing to risk an entire friendship and emotional bond for one night in bed with a girl. Girls are not like that.

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    • im talking about going for a relationship. most girls aren't even willing to risk the friendship for that

    • Because guys never have the goal in mind of being friends. Girls do.

  • in my culture it's usually the guy who initiate most of the time and the girl is considered "cheap" if she will ask the guy FIRST :)

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  • Because women think with their heads and men think with their pants. lol. jks. I've had relationships with and lost friendships because of it a couple of times.

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  • I have noticed that too actually. No idea why that is though...

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  • It is really hard to get a good guy friend. I am not going to ruin that if I am not romantically into the guy.

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  • typically girls don't do the asking out. if we have to ask guys out and can't get asked out, there's something "wrong" with us. so the guys end up asking and the girls don't.

    i wish my guy friends were like that though. I've liked most of my guy friends but I'm just permanently friend zoned and it sucks. but that's probably more my fault than theirs since this happens all the time so it doesn't say anything about my guy friends, just me, since apparently this is never ever the case and guys and girls who start as just friends almost always end up dating or sleeping together at some point.

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  • Maybe its because a lot of guys try to befriend the girl first and wait so long to tell her he likes her.I've never personally had a guy friend confess his feelings but I've trying to befriend a guy for the fact that Iwas psycally attracted I've only done that twice and it didn't even work the guy turned out to be a jerk and I ended the friendship...and once I started likeing my guy friend who I didn't think was good looking at first but he had a girlfriend and I didn't wana tell him caz he probably didn't like me since I was mean to him when he tried to jokily flirt.we were good friends.

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  • guys are more willing to date in general..

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  • Cause guys and girls can't be just friends to the guy

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  • That is because most guys are all out for sex and if they're attracted they want sex so they'll risk anything to get it. Girls aren't like that. That's not how our brain usually functions.

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  • Because usually she doesn't feel an attraction.

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  • Usually, the girl has a greater instinct of how much she is attracted to a guy sexually and romantically. For example, she may think he' a good person, but not really laugh with him. Or she may be really sexually attracted to him, but realize that he wants to move around and she wants to stay in one place. Or she knows that he wants to go to bed with her quite a bit, but she isn't very interested in doing so. It's not always just sexual attraction -- it can be other kinds of attraction and compatibility that are lacking that make a girl not want to try dating a guy friend.

    To a girl, if the romantic payoff is not to a degree that she feels the relationship will be successful, it's not worth risking a good friendship. For guys, the off chance of having sex with someone he's attracted to is usually worth taking a risk.

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What Guys Said 7

  • Because of a few factors which might sound sexist but I'm not trying to go that route.

    It boils down to who has more confidence, When it comes to approaching the other gender, Men do most of the approaching because we are viewed as strong/confident, so women hide behind the old fashion way of things and say " Men should approach women."

    I'm not saying women don't have any confidence, but most of women aren't bold enough to do that when it comes to a guy they like, So when it comes to coming out and saying "I like you" To the other friend, Reason A) They are afraid about losing a friend if something bad happens between them, but in my eyes, that's a poor excuse, Reason B) Because they are shy and don't know to say and don't want to get rejected.

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  • The girl is much more likely to be playing the field, and getting serious with any one guy means giving up all that playing. Most girls aren't willing to give up their fun to get intimate with just any guy, unless they have something pretty special.

    Guys are often lonely and don't have a field to lose! So they're not going to play it cool so often.

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  • Most often she's not that attracted.

    In other cases she's just not very sexual. If you have a high sex drive a relationship is MUCH better than a friendship. So it's worth risking.

    I'd suggest women often value these friendships more because the guy is perpetually auditioning to be her boyfriend - that is he treats her far better than any real friend would. She may not realize this though, but it seems like a 'great friendship' to her. Meanwhile he's putting in way more then he's getting out of it.

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  • Because the guy was friend zoned because the girl never found him physically attractive. She still doesn't so it's not going anywhere. The guy stuck around because he though she just needed to get to know him more before she dated him... Girls tend to place that myth out there. They know if they want to f*** you from the moment they see you. It doesn't mean they don't want to get to know you too, but if they don't want to f*** you in the beginning, then they're not going to want to f*** you 6 months later either.

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    • not true.. there are many cases where a girl reject someone (sometimes several times) but changed her mind later on

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    • he didn't mess up too bad (this is the situation you are thinking of). If he's hot and has a great personality she'll be eager to be with him from the get go. The bottom line is, if you're not attractive to her, there's not much that is going to change that

    • You will be stuck in the friend zone indefinitely, or until you confess your feelings for her and then she feels it's awkward and dumps you as a friend because you wanted to be more then friends and didn't respect the line she drew in the sand.

  • Guys are hornier maybe... Societal upbringing of girls that teaches them if they're forward = they're sluts. So fear of being considered a slut for girls. etc...

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  • There are exceptions, but females tend to want male protectors subconsciously and forming these relationships has nothing to do with how attracted they are. Males certainly don't need female protectors and usually only tolerate female friendships as an afterthought.

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  • A woman is more likely to consider a guy just a friend, whereas guys are much less likely to be just friends with a woman without wanting more than just friendship.

    Men are far more motivated by sex than women are.

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