For those who say their family wouldn't approve if they dated interracially... ?

How do you know?

Are there little comments here and there or something?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Are you still concerned about Granny? Has anything new come up since your last question about this? Like do you have any reason to suspect more than you did before?

    I think it's commendable that it's important to you to be accepted by his family. If it was me I wouldn't care what they think. Well, that's not really true. I would care because it's definitely better to be accepted. It's just that if I wasn't, I would stay with the person anyway.

    Stories of Romeo and Juliet have been around forever. Unfortunately in all the thousands of years too many people still look at skin color, or ethnic background, or nationality, or social class, or all kind of things other than what they should be looking at, which is the person.

    I think probably in any extended family there is at least one person who is prejudice against one group or another. Maybe it's too much to expect that every single person not have any prejudice at all. That's just the world we live in. I think it's changing, but very slowly.

    I said before that it sounded like Granny was a little prejudice. But here's the thing. You guys got along well and it sounded like she is trying. She was probably brought up in very different times. She's not going to change over night. But as long as she is trying, that's what's important.

    You just have to ask yourself if that's enough. Is it enough that she is trying? (I don't even know if it's granny you are talking about, or if you are just asking in general.) I said before that it sounded like Granny was prejudice and you didn't think she was. Now it seems you have some lingering doubts.

    Even IF she or someone else in his family is prejudice, can you accept that? I know what you want, but can you accept less?

    I also think you need to get your boyfriend to talk about this. He might not want to, but it's obviously something important to you. Just don't push too hard with it.

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    • Awww thanks so much! :) Haha. I wasn't talking about granny at all. I just saw a question asked about interracial dating and family acceptance of it and I saw a lot of people saying "my folks wouldn't approve." I hear people saying that ALL THE TIME so I was wondering whether their fam blatantly voice their disapproval or if they are just assuming their fam wouldn't approve for some other reason

What Guys Said 7

  • questions like this make me feel fortunate that I grew up in a really open minded family that never put pressures on me to date a certain race.

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  • Oh yeah. I used to hear, “I better not see you with a black girl!”

    “Watch you date a black girl”

    F*** them, their ideas are way too old fashioned for my taste.

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  • I date interracally but dealt with 3 families threaten to disown their daughter for dating me. 2Asian Girls & one Black Girl.

    It sucks, very hurtful & Wrong.

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  • My parents specifically said I should marry a Jewish girl, and my mom even made indirect offers to set me up.

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  • Well my mom used to tell me she wants me to marry a White girl before

    And

    My dad once said I'll probably end up marrying an Asian woman

    Idk

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  • I was disinherited and lost out on millions for dating a black woman

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  • It's no secret. It has nothing to do with them being "racist", it's just more of being set in their ways. I'm of Italian decent and basically the unwritten rule is you marry Italian, or you don't marry. I have a feeling it won't be the case when the elders start dying off. I am not against marrying outside.

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What Girls Said 10

  • My father has always made little comments about him not wanting me to date

    1. white guys

    2. African guys

    3. Guys from the hood

    but I will respectfully decline his ignorance if he ever tries to interfere with a relationship that is healthy for me and good for my soul. As painful as it is, the reality is that mom and dad are not always going to be around. They are going to die one day and the only family I'll have left is the one I create. So no, I'm not going to compromise my happines for the sake of submitting to my dad's ignorance. I love him to death, but it's my life, it's my future, and it's my choice to make not his. And if he really loves me, he will get over it.

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    • *after reading other answers*

      I think it's pathetic when grown adults let mommy and daddy make important life decisions for them when they are capable of choosing what's right for themselves.

    • Love your answer!

    • thanks :)

  • I believe this matter is more pressured by cultures. My culture doesn't accept other cultures but ours, but that's back then. I'm sure it's changed since I see my people with other race now. Personally, I have dropped hints to my parents and they seem open minded and accept my interracial ideas.

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  • I'm Indian and my parents are very particular with who I'm dating with.They told me how they wish I will marry either Indian or Asian man.My mum is kinda 'okay' as long as he is sharing the same belief and religion with us but not my father though.

    Since there are a lot of foreigners in my country now,he directly expressed his worries to me saying how scared he was if I ever bring back home an Arabic,Black or a white guy.

    I won't mind dating outside my race as long as he is nice and love me as how I love him.

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  • my parents don't care - growing up they always said we want you to be with someone who makes you happy. end of the story :)

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  • They outright say "you better not bring _ home", they express their disagreement with interracial dating if they see couples on TV, they pretty much raise you from puberty to not date them and give their reasons why

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    • As a fellow black person, what she says is a common thing. I know that my dad is open to me seeing any race of woman I want. My mom, however, has made it known through comments that she would "highly prefer " me to date black women.

      There's a conspiracy theory that "good/quality black men" don't date black women, and my mom follows that theory.

    • I thought it was "good/quality black men" date quality black women

  • My relatives and family are racists. I am not allow to date other outside of my race but that doesn't stop me.

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  • I am mixed, so yeah I think it is safe to assume my family would approve, any relationship I am in is interracial by default.

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  • My mom doesn't care. My dad is massively racist. He wants me with a white guy. I don't particularly care but I prefer white guys.

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    • Wow. What kinda stuff does your dad say for you to call him massively racist?

    • He just says lots of racist jokes and comments about what certain races do and stuff like that. It's pretty irritating but at least he's not a homophobe anymore.

  • You jus know from talking about having a crush on one and their reaction like I don't want grandchildren blah blah blah

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  • It's the comments I hear from my parents.

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