Do you believe the theory of "successful/affluent black guys prefer not to date black women"?

This is a common theory in black American culture.

Black guys that are considered by American standards successful or affluent (either college-bound in middle school or HS, in college, in white collar careers, and/or making a seven figure income in any career aspiration )...

...

...prefer to NOT date black females, thus having a high preference towards dating females of other races.

The black females who read the above know exactly know what I'm talking about.

----

Do you think this is true or false? Please vote on the poll, sharing your experiences / observations, as well as your perspective, on this topic.

  • Im a black person; I overall believe this theory
    38% (10)20% (6)29% (16)Vote
  • Im a non-black person; I overall believe this theory
    15% (4)30% (9)23% (13)Vote
  • Im a black person; I overall DONT believe this theory
    12% (3)20% (6)16% (9)Vote
  • Im a non-black person; I overall DONT believe this theory
    35% (9)30% (9)32% (18)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

0|1
11|14

Most Helpful Girl

  • Yes.

    Many of the black men of fhis era are so disgraceful. They are the only men who not only degrade and belittle women who share their features, but they continuously harshy state their "dispreference" for black women. Which really, I'm finding many people are simply using the idea of 'preference' to excuse any possible prejudice and/or self-hating mentality they may have. Instead of being humble and owning up to being at fault even in the slightest way, they simply parrot "Everybody has their preferences" *as if they are the first person to say it and it makes them sound so intelligent and creative. Yet, "It's just my preference" has got to be one of the most unoriginal thoughts*.

    I think it's sad and black men need to stop further contributing to reasons as to why they can't get their sh*t together. They already generally have many other ethinc groups and even mixed people looking down on them and coming up with bullsh*t reasons to deem them a less than; now they are giving their own women reasons to have ill thoughts towards them as well.

    2|3
    1|5
    • If you look at the poll, not one black female voted "no". Interesting...but not shocking to me at all. :-P

    • Many non-black females who overall don't believe the theory just don't get it because they 9/10 times have little if any insight at all into the black community and the issues that truly go on with black males. They can't relate and tend to be either uninformed, misinformed, or flat out in denial to the possibility that their relationship could be the source of a very ugly mentality that glorifies them for being whittened up.

    • Because you've had contact with all black men? I'm a black man who thinks that's black women are beautiful. Some people would consider me "successful". Yes, I have dated outside of my ethnicity before...but that was because I saw something attractive in a particular individual. I didn't purposely seek a non black woman. I think that you've had some negative experiences and because of that you are painting with a broad brush. But I pretty sure you can only represent yourself.

What Girls Said 10

  • I used to agree with this, not in a bitter way or anything, I was just going by what I saw in the media. In the media, it seems as if black men/non-black women couples are in the majority, but they're actually in the minority. The black women/black men couples just don't get as much coverage, so it almost seems as if they don't even exist anymore, which isn't true if you look outside of the couples in the spotlight.

    However, there definitely are black men who prefer to date non-black women, and it doesn't bother me much, because as a 19-year-old black woman, I'm usually attracted to men outside of my own race. The only issue I find with the situation is when some (not all or even most) black men justify their preferences by belittling black women.

    1|2
    0|0
  • I don't believe it. I think they would look for what they would are most attracted to, regardless of income.

    I'm not entirley sure about the number but statistically people pair up with someone of similar income and education. So if there are not enough black women available in a certain income education bracket they may be inclined to swift to alternatives

    0|1
    1|1
  • I don't believe it. Every successful upper-middle-class black man I know is married to an equally successful black woman.

    3|1
    1|1
  • I thought any man want a successful or at least attractive lady in his life. I saw white guys with white wife because it is a preference. Maybe, I need to look harder.

    0|0
    2|3
  • What about successful white guys who prefer black women?

    0|2
    2|1
    • Do they prefer to marry black women? And it sounds like you are implying that black women can't be successful too?

    • Lmao I'm not implying anything believe me. I was just stating something that few haven't. In the same sense that successful black men can date white women, it can and does happen with white men/black women. Also, if what you're reading that deep into my previous answer- are YOU and others on here implying that successful black men go for unsuccessful white women?

  • I don't think this is true. As a biracial girl I can say I've been hit on by 'successful' (I use that term loosely because who really can measure someone else's success) blk men before and many have wanted to date me and some of my friends. I think a lot of it is that successful blk men prefer to date very attractive blk women like the model types, that dress well, have long hair and are more pulled together looking. I'm not trying to come off bitchy but some blk women carry themselves in an unkempt looking way, going 'natural' doesn't look that attractive on everyone and dressing unfashionable isn't helping anything. Whenever I see an attractive 'successful' blk man with a blk women she usually looks more like beyonce then quen latfia (and I mean 90's latfia not cover girl)

    0|1
    1|1
    • I wanna add that tweak team videos do not help blk women regain any credibility. (The same goes when I see white girls do those vids) ratchet is ratchet.

  • I do believe that because there are statistics to back this up

    1|0
    1|2
  • Weirdly, I thought of it the opposite way.

    I feel like the black guys I've met who were "only into white women" weren't as successful.

    The guys I met who were open to dating both races were the more successful ones.

    0|2
    1|1
    • For the above,

      I am a female white and don't believe the theory!

      :)

  • I am not Black but here in my country there are lots of Black guys who come for study or work in big successful companies.Most of them come from educated and rich families.I have talked to them and make friends with them.There was one time we were talking about dating and I was surprised most of them said they never dated their own women and won't even want to try.Their girlfriends are mostly either Asians or Whites.One of my friend,she is Chinese and her boyfriend is Black.She told me her boyfriend been telling her the same thing.So from my experiences yes this is true but of course there is always some exceptions,depending where they live and how they were raised.

    As a non Black female I don't really understand why would this happened so I can't give so many opinions since I don't really know about your culture.I do think its unfair for Black women to face this because in dating,it seems a lot easier for a Black man to date outside their race but not vice visa.

    1|2
    0|1
  • I'm not black, but my boyfriend is half black. He has told me that he dated a black girl once and did not find her as attractive, so he only dates women of other race (mainly white). My ex boyfriend was full black, and has never dated a black girl before. He only dates white women.

    I honestly feel this is unfair, and I hope not all black guys feel this way about women of their own race, but that's been my experience.

    1|1
    2|1
    • Oh and I guess that didn't entirely answer your question about "successful black men." But both men were in college, one was an athlete, the other is in law school.

    • Show All
    • I understood what you said. And as for the offensive part, you said I was "whited up." You don't consider that racist? Watch your mouth, because I'm sure you'd take offense to something of that nature directed at you. There is nothing you can say to change my mind about this so the convo is over. You really need to realize how hypocritical you are.

    • I don't need to watch my mouth. Whittened up equals having European features.

What Guys Said 14

  • I voted D.

    I don't really know, but I suspect a major factor is simply that affluent, college educated, white collar black men AND women ... end up meeting more non-black then black members of the opposite sex through 'normal' channels.

    So unless they make a significant effort TOO date other black people, a high proportion of them are going to end up dating interracially.

    1|4
    0|1
  • I think this is false. As a black male, college grad without children. I feel like I can speak with some authority on this. It's a complete myth. If I date outside my race it's because I met an awesome and very hot woman who just so happened not to be black. But I don't set out to date a woman because of her ethnicity. Sure ball players may marry outside their race, but mostly because there run in circles where there aren't a lot of black women. Certainly not black women who make that kind of money. The clubs, stores, restaurants these athletes visit have a very select clientele. Think about it. Black people only make up 13% of the population. Now millionaires make up 1% of all Americans. What percentage of that 1% is black? Now what percentage of that percentage is a single, heterosexual black female? It's a numbers game. Don't believe the hype. Black men have never stopped liking black women. It's the propoganda of bitter single women.

    1|2
    2|1
    • If you look like a mixed girl, then why be offended? They are just curious. I dislike the term "good hair". There is no such thing. People who use. That term are ignorant. But at the same time I'm not attracted to black women go to lengths to process their hair to look like the hair of another race. It tells me that they don't like themselves on some level. It looks out of place. But I think overall dating comes down to so much more than looks. You have to share interests and lifestyle.

    • Show All
    • If you don't need research or evidence, then you aren't to be taken seriously. Just another angry woman pissed at the world because she's lonely, or guys that she likes don't respond the way she wants. Smh. Keep slamming the men of your own race. If it makes you feel better more power to you. We are the cause of every problem you've ever had. It's true. Maybe you should try to get a a guy outside your race. Let know how that' works out for ya.

    • I agree with all of this answer except for the last sentence.

  • I think that's what it looks like. But I don't think it's true. It's just chance.

    If a brother is in college he is not part of the majority race in most colleges. I forget the statistic but the overwhelming majority of people meet their SO in college. So if a black guy is in a place where there are 5 white girls to every black girls. Just based on odds he has more options that would result in dating a white girl then would result in dating a black girl.

    It's the same theroy as "if all the black people died there would be less crime" well quite. If all the white people died there would be less crime too. It has nothing to do with being white or black. It has to do with the fact that if there are no people there is no crime.

    If there are no black girls (or very few. Or even just a significantly smaller quantity) then there will be NO guys dating black girls. You see? It's not because he's black that he doesn't date a black girl. It's not because he's white that he doesn't date a black girl. It's because the ratio of guys to black girls is so out of balance. It's just highly unlikely to happen

    0|1
    0|0
  • This is difficult to say. I have found over the years that black women are far more prone to take complete charge of their men, wanting to dominate the whole relationship. Black women are loud, boisterous, scary and very quick to fight a man for whatever reason. For this, a majority of black men look elsewhere for women. I'm not saying that other women are far more submissive. I'm saying that a mad black woman is a force to reckon with and there are plenty of them.

    The truth? I dunno. I do hear about how so many black men are just fed up with the sister girls. In a parallel comparison, African men are completely afraid of Black-American women.

    0|1
    2|1
    • Fed up with their own women? Maybe some but I don't think its true in all cases.I believe some of them are using it as an excuse to hide their self hating feeling.

    • "African men are completely afraid of Black-American women" lol that's funny cause I have definitely been hit on by African guys before.

    • I have two roomies from Kenya. BOTH of them have told me they fear the black chicks in America because the sista girls here look like they want to fight and have shown how they can give someone a ton fo flak.

  • As a black guy, I don't care about race. I generally look for things in girls that aren't really race specific, like their values and interests and their general attitude. Attractiveness also plays role, but that isn't race specific either

    1|3
    0|1
  • It's Skitty!

    *returns to topic at hand*

    Well this is completely beyond my area of expertise... *scratches head*

    I'm going to guess there is some sort of trend, but like all trends there are always exceptions.

    I'd say it's kind of like how Asian women would prefer not to date Asian guys...I guess? *shrugs*

    0|0
    0|1
  • It's only because these guys are in a mind state that black is ugly. Whether they admit it or not deep down they want none of the hardships that come with having a black family. I personally don't care what race my woman is but currently I'm talking to a black girl that's awesome.

    Another thing might be the stereotype that black girls cheat, don't cook, complain, and overall make for poor wife material. There are ofcourse truths to this but there are people like that in all societies.

    2|0
    0|1
  • I'm nowhere near the seven figure sum, but prefer other races. There's many reasons maybe the most prominent being that I was raised in a mostly white area. I was in a school in which the situation was the same.

    0|1
    1|1
  • Idk the president seems rather respected and he's got a black wife. It's just that many many black women are "ghetto" to use jargon, and white women have the reputation of being respectable so if he's looking for that he might be subconsciously following that stereotype.

    0|0
    5|1
    • So kim kardashian is respectable?

    • Jesus Christ calm down you excitable little children. I said stereotypes. When you see black women on TV, it's either Michelle Obama or some black chick in a rap video dancing in booty shorts. I don't choose what's on TV and to be honest I don't even care for TV, I'm discussing stereotypes which lead to subconscious Freudian judgements.

  • Said successful African American men will usually want to marry a white girl.

    1|1
    1|1
  • I don't know why it happens but it does, as soon as they are making money many seem to want a non black woman

    1|0
    0|1
    • Kanye West is a great example

    • Kanye west dated a bunch of black women. Has a kid by a black woman. It didn't work out, but he hasn't put down black women.

    • *I addressed this on PhilaPenn's answer so that I'm not spamming on someone else's answer*

  • mewto

    as for the answer I think its partially correct...there are so many rappers and celebrities and even president of usa who have settled down within their race

    0|3
    0|1
  • As much as they say it's about preferences, I think there's usually some underlying inferiority complex or self-hatred when people flat out refuse do date their own race. Dating white is considered dating up and successful guys have more options so they're more likely to be able to date a white girl if they want to. I think it's unfair to the black ladies.

    3|1
    0|1
    • THANK YOU! Finally someone who's being COMPLETELY HONEST AND REAL instead of just playin along and pretending that the word preference is the true answer when you get down to it!

  • I don't even know if it's just affluent black men. If the varying statistics floating around are to be believed...

    I think a lot of guys are just enamored to white girls for some reason, which is unfortunate for almost everyone except white girls. lol

    It's harder on black women of course. I mean, there's barely any black guys on televisions that are with black women. I don't watch much tv, but it seems like every black guy is with a white girl on that too. That has to be hard on them too.

    1|2
    0|2
    • That is true. You rarely see that on tv

    • Buf it this were true would 7 in 10 black men be with black women? I could see if it were 50%, but the majority of black men choose black women.

    • You'll have to elaborate on that statistic. I'm assuming it means marriage, and I think it could be somewhat misleading if it is. Like I said, there are a lot of statistics floating around and some of them sound really bad for black women, so I don't know. I don't care enough to research this stuff extensively to be honest.

      I can only go from what I've read, what I've seen, and what I've heard. Most of which has lead me into forming the opinion you see above.

Loading...