Do you think the opposite gender has it easier or harder in dating?

Who has it easier? What's the most frustrating part for you?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • By far women have it easier in MOST aspects.

    Physically:

    The average woman is better looking than the average man (both sexes tend to agree on this).

    Culturally:

    Men are traditionally expected to approach women when it comes to dating. Because of this many women feel they shouldn't have to go out of their way to approach as guys are expected to approach them. Nowadays there are some women who go out of their way to approach guys, but all of those guys are relatively handsome (or fall in a fetish category, astonishing as that is to hear). However, guys will often approach even plain girls if something about them raises a spark of interest.

    Risk vs Rewards:

    Since men are expected to approach they have to look their best in order to receive favor. If you are an average looking guy who cold approaches a lady, she is PROBABLY going to reject you because you LOOK average, and most women are only interested in finding one man in their life and sticking with him (meaning they only care about first class, top-of-the-line guys in terms of starting a romantic partnership with). Only handsome guys can pull off the cold approach without having some sort of history with the girl. Most guys know they will face rejection. Women who do not approach do not have to fear rejection (as such they have none of the risk but can reap all of the rewards of a relationship). They just have to decide whether to press the rejection button. As a result, for the average Joe a history of being an awesome friend is a mandatory prerequisite to starting a relationship.

    HOWEVER, there is one field where men do not have to worry as much...

    FASHION:

    In terms of fashion, there aren't nearly as many powers or responsibilities for men as there are for women. Men's fashion is very limited, so he just has to wear a suit or appropriate clothing that looks good and fix or mess-up his hair (if he's not bald). For women there are so many different ways to dress and wear hair it's astounding and confusing. But honestly, this is about the gist of where men have it easier in terms of dating.

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What Girls Said 15

  • In dating? Definitely girls have it easier but we also easier get called dirty names if we were being too flirty.That's how it goes.People won't impress by something that you easily can get.Guys have it a lot harder but with their achievement of getting many girls they will be called as player.

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  • Lol no, I think a lot of guys here like to use their gender as an excuse as to why they are failing at dating. They want to claim that being born with a penis and not getting certain advantages that all human beings with a vagina get is the reason why they are not successful at dating. To me, that's just them not being humbly wise enough to admit to their personal fautls. Which is why they remain faults and their dating life never progresses.

    My only frustration with dating is how hard it is to find a high quality guy.

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  • I think it's pretty equal. The people who really have it easier are the hot ones and the people who really have it harder are the ugly ones. It has nothing to do with gender and everything to do with attractiveness.

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    • So all an attractive guy has to do is sit back and let women come to him?

      If that's the case then every guy who has never been approached is not attractive.

      But if that's not the case, then that means even attractive guys are expected to do the approaching. Approaching is one of the toughest parts to dating, because rejection can make one feel less confident -which is supposedly what makes men attractive.

      Would you approach an attractive guy and ask him out?

    • Why does this always turn to approaching? It's not that hard to walk up to a person and ask them out. I personally would not approach a stranger because I don't even know them and I don't want to get chopped up and stored at the back of their freezer.

      And nobody can just sit back and let people come to them. Even attractive women have to open up. Guys wouldn't flock to a hot girl who looks disinterested in social contact.

  • I think guys have it harder because, they all seem to be mostly complaining about being in the friend zone.

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  • We both do.

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  • Equally it's hard. Sometimes one can't understand the other. Personally, I think it's hard for a girl to get a guy. It seems easier for a guy to get a girl but I guess it just depends.

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    • You are still only 16, so of course it will seem hard for you NOW...

      Guys your age are just discovering their sexuality and interest in the opposite sex (and many are afraid to take action about their discovery). In addition you probably would have trouble even fathoming dating someone 5 years older/younger than yourself right now, so you are limited to a very tight age pool.

      See how easy/difficult things are in 5-10 years...

    • So how hard is it for you then? I don't know, I don't even try. I just say what I've been seeing in my friends relationships, which yes are pretty immature.

  • Both have it hard for different reasons.

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  • Completely depends on the person. I hate this kind of generalization.

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  • guys have it harder... They have to do more "courting" but I think to maintain the relationship and to take care of a family, women have more work(I don't like that word though... give more emotional energy..idk)

    The most frustrating/hardest part for me is trusting the other person and being myself and being confident.

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  • It sucks for both sexes.

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  • Men have it easier because they have an active role and aren't judged for it. If a woman is active in any way shape or form when it comes to pursuing someone she is desperate or a whore. Men don't have to care as much about their appearance. I mean as a woman it's like you are a piece of meat waiting to be picked out or something. As men you are the picker in a lot of ways. Women can choose among the men that are interested but that's it. In dating men are rewarded for their success but in dating women have to dumb down or minimize their accomplishments to seem valuable. Women are to be seen and played with men are the players or catalysts in dating and that is where the power lies especially in the beginning.

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    • You have no idea how much rejection can hurt. It's easier said than done to approach a girl and not seem like a creep.

      In terms of fashion, I agree that women have it tougher. But if you are at least average looking and manage to start a conversation with me on some shared interest that will do 100 times more than any pretty girl who is intimidating!

      I, for one, would love to be approached by a girl so long as she didn't try to kiss or sleep with me immediately.

    • I'm sure you would LOVE it. But it means a lot more when a girl is rejected by a man men are seen by society as sex fiends that will do anything pretty much and if you are rejected by a guy that would have sex with anything what does that say about you? Also in dating it's truly unequal women that expect to have anything paid for are gold-diggers, yet when men expect to get oral sex they aren't perverts.. I mean the sex alone can make dating unequal putting men at a clear advantage.

  • Men have it easier they can control their feelings more than women.

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    • There are very emotional men and there are very unemotional women. I don't see how this directly affects dating or starting relationships.

    • Men are trained from the time they are 2 or 3 years old to consider their own feelings unimportant and try to ignore them.

      I'm not sure if that's the same as 'control'.

    • This is my opinion from my experience.

  • Guys have it easier in the long run

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  • LOL, ummm being a guy would be much easier! Being able to compartmentalize things and not get too emotional sounds awesome, girls over think, being a guy would be easy.

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  • Just as hard.

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What Guys Said 14

  • My life as the opposite gender would have been heaven. My mixed complexity would make men of all races drool because I would have had the butt and chest to charm the world over. My beauty would have ended wars and racism. Billionaires would have begged for my hand in marriage by age 17 and showered my family with riches and the like. I can't think of all the sex I could have obtained with my current sex-drive-from-hell. Only a question of what career path I might have chosen: acting, modelling, politics(being the power behind the throne) or adult video industry. I would have been SPOILED ROTTEN!

    That's the fantasy. The reality is that I would have been knocked up at age 12, dropped out of middle school, stuck with five kids from six different fathers by age 22, living in a trailer park in the slums of Louisiana and miserable for the rest of my life.

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

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  • Easiest to toughest: Attractive guys>Attractive girls>Average girls>Average guys>Unattractive guys>Unattractive girls

    The biggest problem is that the people who are in the averages and who constitute the majority of people feel as though they are settling if they wind up with an average person. Many average people overvalue and overestimate themselves and the type of partner they deserve. I've seen tomany people staying single and becoming frustrated when there were good men and women right in front of them. There is nothing wrong with wanting an Aston Martin, but people need to be realistic and realize that sometimes they are more suited to a Toyota as they are more similar and probably have more in common.

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  • I doubt it. I think the tendency is to not compare like with like - it's mostly less attractive guys that bitch about how girls have it easier, but that's because they're only really thinking about more attractive girls - not the girls of equivalent attractiveness, who probably can't just smile sweetly and have guys fall at their feet all the time (it must really suck to be a girl who doesn't get asked out, and feels like it's not okay for her to ask a guy out instead).

    Similarly it's the hot girls who think they have it better than guys, but in reality they have it good because they're hot, not because they're girls.

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  • I generally hate these questions on gag because both genders are bitter about each other. As far as serious dating. A lot of difficulty comes because men and women don't always communicate the same

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    • Been like this since grade school. Remember how boys and girls always taunted each other?

  • I would think it depends on the people.

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  • I'd guess at my age and position in life, men.

    When I was young and single, at that stage, women.

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  • Men probably have it easier.

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  • IMHO I believe women have it way easier in dating

    The most frustrating is being the nice guy and getting rejected time and time again

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  • The woman, hands down, has it easier than the man!

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  • I wish I had a pizza, I'm starving!

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  • i get sick and tired whenever people make this comment, argument, about which gender has it easier in dating and relationships, boyfriend/girlfriend, they are always like "for every girl that has a boyfriend, that guy has a girlfriend, ". Who wants to date someone wallowing in self pity with this "girls have it easier" stuff? I mean honestly, if a Girl has a boyfriend, doesn't THAT then imply that a guy had a girlfriend?"

    DUH! I KNOW THAT!, BUT THE GUY HAD TO DO ALL OR MOST OF THE WORK IN ORDER TO THE ATTRACTION, RELATIONSHIP TO START IN THE FIRST PLACE!, well almost all the time!, women just have to welcome or deny advances, they have the final say, I always believed that women do the choosing, and not men, and even this guy admits it:

    link

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    • I personally don't like dating so a guy gads to be persistent to date me. And really awesome. But I think you're right about having to chase a girl. I honestly think its genetic makeup. Guys are the ones doing the pursuing since forever. I think there is a biological reason. Like how makes in the wild fight with each other to mate the female. Sounds weird saying it that way but sort of same thing no?

    • you're right but I stumbled upon this lately, I was reading that female gorillas Initiate courtship, but I'm still looking more into that

  • What's so hard about being a woman when it comes to dating. All she has to do is either accept, deny ...or ignore. Real tough.

    The only ones who think it's harder being a woman are the one's who make it harder...the game players.

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    • No because actual dating involves emotional support of each person. But going on dates for most girls yeah is easier. For me it's hard because I get anxiety so I have I pretend to be normal. Haha I actually exert a LOT of energy.

  • I think it would be easier. Maybe the trans gendered on this site can give the definitive answer.

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  • Women have it way easier. Show some cleavage, get free drinks, lay on your back while having the guy do all the work. They get gifts, and taken out to dinner where they don't have to pay. Can get mad at us for no reason but for creating excitement (drama) in the relationship. They can complain about us when we are good or bad, and about how bored they are after they "change" us. Women win hands down.

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    • Oh man you sound like a WOMAN STOP WHINING!

    • No whining here, just making a statement.

    • Haha sorry I say that to guys who complain about women sort of counterproductive but funny. At least to me ;)

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