Should I give up on dating completely?

every time I approach a woman she always rejects me, they would either say, "You're not my type, I like you as a friend, I don't date black men, & you're to ugly to be talking to me." This is a losing battle for me and I'm so close to giving up on dating completely and stay alone forever. I'm 23, and I feel like no woman is attracted to me I don't see why a woman would ever love a geek college nerd like me so I'm throwing in the towel and giving up on dating. Is this a bad idea? Women aren't attracted to me, so why should I talk to them?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I hate how people say you have all the damn time in the world, because we are only young once, and women, girls are the hottest, most attractive when they are in their late teens to early 20's, or just 20's and somewhat early 30's, and us guys gotta use our time wisely because doubtfully a woman is gonna want to date or marry a man who is old enough to be her Father, and plus, I hate how us guys have to work, fix, change, improve upon ourselves way more than girls do in order to be dating and relationship material, a girl can be insecure, have low self-esteem, socially-awkward, socially-retarded, bad social-skills, reclusive, introverted, and the odds will be much more heavily in her favor to land a relationship, date, etc.

    Girls are allowed to attach their sense and worth of having a boyfriend, relationship in their life, allowed to validation but not the other way around, unfair double-standard there, if it's not a double-standard, and it's because men and women are different in their perspectives on attraction, well, it's a reason why I hate a hatred of women, and don't mistake hatred for blaming, the key word is hate, because I hate the standards they have in us guys in order to be dating and relationship material, a girl does not really need anything going for her in her life in order to be dating/relationship material, they simply just have to exist!

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    • Too much work and that's why I might start avoiding relationships.

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    • Sadly, I'm the shy quiet type.

    • yeah fills me with rage

What Girls Said 6

  • You've met some nasty b*tches, but you know what? There are ways to up your game, and by your explanation I'm guessing the most important one for you is to start believing in yourself. I'm not saying this as some the-secret-preaching-self-help-guru, but a graduate of the school of life. Look around in the world and you will see that there are guys out there who are dumber, uglier, meaner, clumsier, nerdier, weirder etc. WHO STILL HAVE GIRLFRIENDS.

    If you don't believe that any woman would ever love you, then why should the women believe so? Give them a reason to believe in you.

    Also, on the comment you gave to one of the guys' responses "Women don't like great guys, they think they're boring. So why bother trying." Excuse my frankness but that is pure bullsh*t, why would I think that a great guy is boring? I wouldn't! If a guy is great he wouldn't be boring, if a guy is boring he wouldn't be great.

    If you're a geek college nerd then you probably have a very good head for analysing and book learning, so drop the excuses (because true or not, they're not helping you) and start looking inside you and around you. What guys get the girls' attention? Which guys have a girlfriend? How do they behave when they get attention? What do they do? In what ways are they different from you? Reflect upon it as impartially as you can and figure out what things you can emulate and what things you shouldn't. Read books, read stuff online (and reflect on whether they're good for you or just Strauss'-the-game-lookalikes). I've heard a lot of good about "The way of the superior man" by David Deida, so I recommend you to start there (if book learning is your thing).

    I'm sorry if my words are too harsh, I'm not saying this to be mean but to get you out of the being hopeless stage and some motivation so that you can fix it, instead of just growing up to be another old, bitter man.

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    • At this point, I would rather grow old and alone. Women don't like me and they never will. Why should I convince them? Have a nice day.

  • Everyone gets rejected.EVERYONE.I've experienced this too.

    Suck it up,and keep it moving.

    Some women are rude,but not all are.Keep trying.Good luck.

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  • You sound like your associating with some major b*tches. You don't need to give up on dating, but you can of course give yourself a break to collect your thoughts and focus on other things. I went through something similar where I was only attracting mean men, then I decided a take some me-time, and I really took my time. I was single and loving it for 2 years when I met my wonderful boyfriend of 3 years now out of the blue.

    Sometimes all you need a little time to realize your own worth, then others will be able to see it as well.

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  • Well imo your mixing with some nasty women if that's how they normally turn you down...

    Also its very true, If you can't love yourself how can you expect someone else to?

    Being down on yourself is sending out negative energy which is unattractive, we avoid feeling unhappy and people who are always down.. To be attractive is not totally down to looks its about personality and the positive energy you generate that draws people to you. My advice is work on your self confidence and liking yourself first otherwise nothing will change.

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    • Sounds like a good idea

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    • Easier said than done, I've always believed I was unattractive to women and I'm accepting it now.

    • friend and pm if you want to chat

  • Don't be so down on yourself. You are only 23 and you've got your whole life ahead of you. You will find someone, just don't force it. Be yourself and you will find someone who appreciates you just the way you are.

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    • Kind of hard to not be down on myself when women aren't attracted to me.

  • Don't give up. You're probably just talking to the wrong kind of women. Talk to women that you have more in common with. You'll find somebody that likes you as much as you like them. But it also really helps if you put some effort into your appearance (i.e. shower regularly, keep facial hair tamed or completely shaved off, wear a decent pair of jeans that are not baggy and have no stains, a decent shirt and decent shoes) because unfortunately first impressions matter a lot and appearance is a big part of that. Hope this helps :).

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What Guys Said 6

  • Not at all dude, just get back out there and keep trying but maybe with a little different approach this time. Look for a different kind of girl. If you keep approaching the same kind of bitchy full of themselves kind of girl then you'll get the same reaction. Find a nice pretty girl who isn't a bitch and go after her. Maybe you're also not dressed to impress or come off to strong or something? There's tons of little things you can tweak to get the reaction you'd like. I'm sure you're a great guy and that there's some beautiful girl out there waiting for a guy like you. Good luck mate

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    • Women don't like great guys, they think they're boring. So why bother trying.

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    • Yea man, just always keep your head up. Not every girl is going to say yes, that's just life. Best of luck to ya :)

    • I would enjoy it if just one girl said yes, It's never happened to me before.

  • Give up , more for me !

    Ok jokes aside , if you are thinking of giving up then just say f*** it and go on an start asking women out without hope of dating them , just flirt with them for the sake of it , as you do and do it again without the weight of f***ing up on you , cause even if you do f*** up you won't lose anything but thin air , you will be able to get better and better with your game and I bet you that you will start scoring great chicks .

    But then again its just me , do whatever the f*** you wanna do (y its tmw) .

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  • i hate how women can be insecure but men can't

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  • be glad you have been in a relationship before, some of us don't get to have companionship

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  • Do you know about indicators of interest? If yes, how well do you pick up on those signals? ...oh, and women smell neediness from a mile away as well as, I assume, self-hate.

    But again - learning about indicators of interest makes the whole "flirting game" so much fun.

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    • Too much work for me

    • Dude, wtf? You just want pity here, not real advice. Heck, just learn about one ioi then - the hairtoss; and especially observe women that are walking towards you. Easy peasy!

    • No I mean it, I accept your advice that really sounds like a lot of work. I'm not looking for pity at all.

  • I feel you man. I have been there and in many ways I still am. I am 22, also a college student, have never had a girlfriend, and still a virgin. But I know that this has been my own doing, it is not any woman's fault it is mine. However, I know that it will not always be this way as I have made great strides in the last couple of years. I have even had a couple of dates in the last couple of months. I know that eventually I will be with someone that I love and loves me back.

    If you don't want to hear my advice then stop reading. You hate yourself man, just like I once did. the truth is that you are only capable of love if you love yourself. When you hate yourself the whole world seem darker and you will drown in that hate. This is not an over night change and it is something you ever to commit to 100%, but you have to learn how to love yourself. Then you will become a source of positive energy that attracts others. Trust me; happiest may be harder to achieve for some of us but it can be done. Seize it, be determined to get everything you want out of life. I will see on the mountain top brother, promise.

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    • I do hate myself, and women hate me as well. But I'm gonna just accept it now.

    • if you hate yourself then no one will ever love you. loving yourself is the first step. Until you learn to do that you only have yourself to blame. this is self inflicted pain my man.

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