How often should men and women communicate?

How often should men and women communicate while dating? For instance, if they've been dating for 3 months, should communication be 50/50? Or should the guy still be the "pursuer" and contact the girl more?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • My girl calls me at least 3/4 of the time we talk on the phone. I warned her of that when we first started dating; I'm lousy with the phone because I hate being on it unless it's absolutely necessary. We talk a lot in person, and I see her at least twice a week (sometimes 4 or even 5), but I'm not very pro-active on the phone.

    It has NOTHING to do with how I feel about her, I just don't like the phone, and prefer to talk in person. It's always been that way with me (my jobs have always seemed to involve a lot of phone work, so when I'm not working, I hate being on the phone), and fortunately my girlfriends have been fine with it.

    Not everyone is like me, but a LOT of guys aren't pro-active communicators when they aren't face-to-face. Don't take that personally, it's just how they are.

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What Guys Said 5

  • At 3 months if I'm contacting her more than vice versa, something's wrong.

    You know, everyone should be initiating conversation, everyone should be initiating sex, but the reality is, in a stable relationship, more often the guy initiates sex more often (but hopefully not always) and more often the woman initiates communication (though again, shouldn't be all the time).

    And that's fine.

    And when they do, hopefully the other is happy they did and responds with enthusiasm.

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  • it won't make it to 3 months if she isn't putting in effort, unless the guy has no self respect or something.

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  • 50/50. If you want the guy to be the "pursuer" then you probably won't get the kind of attention you want. I'm always a fan of the "if you want it, go get it", approach.

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  • 50/50 if you love that person, healthy relationship should involve evenly love

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  • If after 3 months of dating she's putting forth 0 effort ill feellike its a waste of time

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What Girls Said 1

  • It's never been 50/50 in any of my relationships. The way it goes for me is that in the first couple of months, the guy contacts me way more frequently than I contact him, then it all changes. It's actually one of the things that annoy me about relationships. I don't think there are many relationships where the guy contacts the girl more often than she contacts him after the first few months. If you read a bit on here (and talk to women in general) you will see that seems to be a major gripe among women. What I've learnt is that if you want the guy to "pursue" you, i.e. contact you more than he does, you have to give him less attention. Women tend to smother guys with attention, messages, phone calls so naturally, they don't feel like initiating anything. Also, most guys simply suck when it comes to sending things and talking on the phone. They much prefer face to face interaction.

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