What can I do in our Online relationship?

Me and my girlfriend are engaged. We have an online relationship. We have been dating since May 2012 and have known each other since June 2011 (it doesn't seem that long!). Anyway, we both have weird schedules. She lives with her parents (she's 25) and sleeps until 3pm or later and goes to bed at like 10pm. Firstly - I get really angry at this. I want to spend time with my girlfriend (via text, AIM, etc) and she wants to watch TV or get moody and never talk to me.

I am a student getting ready to graduate (I'm 20, community college) and get up at 6am and go to bed around 11pm. I live with my Mom and help around the house. While I do enjoy TV, I am not completely addicted to it as she is.

A week or so ago, I proposed to her and she said yes.

That was just a little backstory. Anyway, we fight all the time over the smallest things: When she refuses to get online, when she goes to bed after only being up 3 hours, getting annoyed with each other for clamming up after feeling hurt by something the other one says... The list could go on.

My question is, how can I try and stop this crap from happening? The fighting over nothing and the stubbornness we both have?

I plan to see her in May and will be proposing in real life to her then, and I want us to be at a secure place in our relationship for that to happen. I love her, whole and true, and just want us to be together without the fighting and the games we play with each other.

How can I make this online relationship worth it's stress and how can I destress us? Also, are there any tips to keep our romance alive online (I feel kinda weird asking that)?

Thanks in advance for constructive answers.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • If the relationship is kind of rocky, why are you in such a hurry to get engaged? Engagement and marriage come with their own trials and tribulations, some of which will be a lot bigger than the things you guys are arguing about now. Why not take the extra time to work on your relationship, get on the same page, and get things stable for a while before you take the next step? Don't use a marriage proposal as a way to rescue your relationship, because that is a recipe for disaster. It doesn't seem like you guys have quite built up the communication skills or the conflict resolution skills you'll need to be in a committed long-term relationship. See if you can fix the issues in your relationship and then revisit the issue of marriage.

    In the short term, communication is key, especially in a long-distance relationship. So ask her: Why is she more interested in watching TV than talking to you? What's causing her moodiness? Or let her know how you feel: "It makes me feel hurt when you choose to watch television rather than spend time with me, since we have so little time together." Or "I'm really sorry to hear you're feeling down. I would really like to help you feel better, but I can't do that unless you open up to me." If she's not open to at least discussing the issues, I don't think she has much interest in working on the relationship. In that case, it probably won't work out anyway. Relationships take lots of work, and lots of compromise.

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What Guys Said 2

  • first of all "what can I do with an online relationship?"

    good question there, the answer is F*** ALL, that's the main problem with them

    secondly, you proposed in an online relationship... cause yeh there could be NOOOO problems there can there? numpty

    thirdly, meeting her in may to propose in person? I thought in person was how your supposed to propose isn't it? and the fact that you have to meet her in order to propose makes it sound like youve got this whole marriage idea a bit wrong. you know you have to spend time with your wife IN PERSON when your married don't you?

    fourth, you don't spend hardly any time with each other, even online, how on earth can you class yourselves as dating in the first place?

    and finally, my best advice for this relationship is to see her in person more than online, cancel the engagement and say its because you think its going a bit too fast blah blah.

    then go home re-evaluate your life and realize that its not a good idea to propose to people you only talk to on the f***ing internet.

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  • I am getting closed to banned because I am answering this amazingly great questions. I have to avoid sarcasm, being rude and crude. I have to avoid being mean. I have to avoid facetiousness and give a quality answer and not be the prick I want to be. I also cannot use one word or answer the question with a question. My advice is to get a real mate and one that is more mature. You should wait many years before you do this as I suspect you may be a troll, 14 years old, borderline retarded, psychotic, manic, halfway joking or a combination of some or all of this. Best of luck to you my friend.

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    • I sincerely tried but the whole getting engaged thing online set my brain churning and the reason for arguing and the sleeping habits of your "fiancee" made this difficult for me. My deepest apologies.

    • Oh and I stayed away from rating your "question" to be a nice guy and I oddly thought of the show Catfish when I initially read your query

What Girls Said 2

  • The best way to avoid this arguments is to compromise. Try to both get on the same page. Don't be too stuborn with each other. But also make sure the compromises come from both of your sides. Meaning some days do it her way others your way. Or find common ground. If you see an argument coming, give each other time to cool of, then come back later and talk about it. Also don't focus too much on the negativity. Its what kills the romance and relationships. To keep romance alive on line, I guess.. cute videos would be nice, love letters over e-mail or something. I don't know? I only had an online relationship once.. and that lasted for about one week. Lol. so yeah. I hope this advise helped. :)

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  • ugh, I hope you're kidding. Cut it off, run for the hills, go find a person you've met and don't ask people you don't know and haven't met to marry you.

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    • I've actually met her in real life quite a few times since we've met. The no vehicle thing is making that hard right now.

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