I am unhappily married, still live with him, plan on a divorce, is it too early to go on dates?

It is agreed between my husband and I that we get a divorce but for now for financial reasons and because of the kids we still live together. He sleeps on the couch, drained our bank account and opened his own account, we barely talk and haven't had sex in over a year. We will have been married 10 years come March but things have been tough for the last 6 years. My question is this. Is it too early for me too be looking? I mean I am only human and I am lonely. I am not talking sex here just getting out and enjoying the company of a guy, rediscovering life, and feeling appreciated again. Would this be wrong? Of course I would be honest with whoever I would be interested in, they would know from the start. But would this be cheating? We share the same roof but that is all we share and he and I are on the same page. What's your opinion?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Reading this it is almost like I wrote it.

    I always put my children first but I still needed to take care of myself. I think the first thing you need to do is live separate. I know it is hard financially but you will make it and the beginning is always the hardest on everyone including the kids. Once that happens you should start going out. I met someone in your position and he knew everything. He helped me through it all and had it not be for him I would have ended back with my ex even knowing that it would be the worst mistake for everyone. They say that people enter your life for a season, a reason or a life time. He was my reason. Good Luck

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What Guys Said 1

  • I see no problem with dating a guy at this point. Your marriage is a mere formality at this point and if you intend to be open and honest about what you do it would be of great benefit to you and your emotional situation. There is no reason to put your life and your dating life on hold just because legal papers haven't been signed yet.

    The most important matter is that you feel comfortable dating. And if you do, you should.

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What Girls Said 1

  • This may sound harsh, but I think it's completely unacceptable. Morally, it's wrong, and as a married woman I don't think you'd be attracting many good guys any way. Wait at very least until the divorce is final.

    I understand you're feeling lonely and everything, but there is one thing you can do to occupy your time: focus on your kids. They should be the most important thing in your life right now.

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    • I agree with putting the kids first and I always have, but if I am not happy, my kids are not stupid, they know it and in turn they are not happy. I have them 24/7 except when they are in school. Some adult time would be nice. I deserve that much. No?

    • Of course you deserve it. Everyone does. But wait a little while and see how they're going to deal with your divorce. Make sure their needs are met, and then concentrate on yourself.

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