Boyfriend not calling or texting much through the week

My boyfriend of 7 months is confusing me with his inconsistency. We live an hour apart and spend the weekends together (Fri-Mon morning). During this time, he is sweet, attentive, and we get along great. It feels like we practically live together during this time. But come through the week, I don't hear from him much. I might get a couple good mornings, and a couple night calls, but that's it. I don't know if this should be a concern, but it makes me feel like he's not thinking about me...outta sight outta mind. He says he loves me and through the week he is just busy doing things he don't get done during the weekend. It just feels weird to be so close for a few days, then hardly nothing...until the weekend again. any thoughts?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • You're middle aged...waaay to grown to think this way. Does the guy have a job? Other important responsibilities? It seems like you are on the verge of going neurotic and female on this guy and tanking the relationship. If when he's with you he makes you feel really good about yourself, then you've got a good thing going. Afterall, it's only 7 months you've been together.

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    • I am recently divorced after a 15 year marriage, so dating again is a little unnerving. I don't want to scare this guy away, but I always thought, if a guy is into you, he'll make you feel special all the time, not just some of the time. Yes, he works. No kids. He's busy...but not too busy.

    • It's not a man's job solely focus on pleasing you 24-7. That's fantasy. That's Hollywood. That's stuff from romantic comedies. He should treat you well and let you know that he cares, but he should not dote on you. Neither should a woman dote on her man 24-7. You may need to re-examine what you expect from a relationship. I think you're asking a lot. Besides usually, the only guys who will really be all up on you 24-7 are co-dependent and insecure men who don't feel comfortable being away from u

What Guys Said 4

  • He might be busy with work or school, try calling or texting him, he might be thinking the same thing about you at this very moment

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  • Think you're asking too much

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  • That sounds typical for most guys - out of sight out of mind, or in other words, don't ask us to multitask.

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  • That's normal guy behavior. When a guy is sweet, attentive, caring, etc. to his girlfriend all the time, it actually means a few days a week or when he sees her. Not every freaking day. Damn if I had to be all nice, caring and sensitive to my girlfriend everyday, it would be a full time job! A great boyfriend is one who will love you close for few days then from a distance, silently, for the rest of the week.

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    • Really? I don't expect texts all day, or hour long conversations, just little check ins to let me know I'm on his mind. Wouldn't he, if he was thinking of me? Kind of makes me feel like he has enough of me those 3 days, and needs a break. But we get along so good. It's just weird

    • Yes he may be thinking about you and he probably is, but that doesn't mean he is gonna text you everyday. I love my girlfriend but I can't stand talking on the phone with her. It's not her I just hate talking on the phone for more than 5 minutes. When I see her, I'm totally devoted and dedicated to making her feel like she is the most special girl in the world. "When I see her" But other than that I will only, maybe, text her good morning twice a week.

What Girls Said 2

  • Not that I'm to talk but I think a relationship is about communication and trust.

    Sounds like you've spoken to him but you're still not content with the answer. Talk again. If something is worrying, talk to him again. As much as we can speculate, we won't be spot on. If anything, an answer here could be taken by you as a sign that 'he doesn't care' or 'it's normal for men' and then reality says that it's quite the opposite.

    I have to say, men don't seem like the most consistent people? Although, there are men who are. Ad hoc text and calling sounds pretty standard to me.

    My ex enjoyed 'him' time and after some chat, we agreed that we wouldn't text or call if we knew the other was going out for example. We also agreed we wouldn't question each other over the night out unless the other offered to share to avoid any "who's James?" "who's Jenny?" "oh I didn't know about them! tell me more" cases. I guess that's how my relationship worked then, yeah OK we've broken up but it wasn't because of his inconsistent call or text habits. I gathered that my ex wasn't great at calling and I ended up calling him most of the time and leaving a message on his voice mail to which he'd reply when he had 5 minutes to spare.

    Finally, trust. He is busy. To me, further speculation really ruins a relationship but hey, my opinion.

    It has been 7 months so that honeymoon period of the relationship is over. It will be different to when you first started out and you were all he could ever think of. You still are, but to a less obvious extent.

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  • Me and my boyfriend are in the same situation. I think that maybe he's just comfortable in the relationship and maybe wants to give you space since you hang out with him 3 days in a row. Me and my boyfriend Skype 1-2x/week, it makes a big difference. I don't mind good morning texts but sometimes its hard to talk consistenly all day with work and stuff. I'm sure he's still thinking about you! (:

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