He wants to date more girls..what do I do

Hey!

I'm confused.

Met G a month ago, we started dating. We are communicating greatly and getting closer. Last week we had a talk.. about the things we're looking for in the romantic field. He had a 9 year old relationship that ended 10 months ago, and hasn't dated since (except for one bad date, couple of months ago). He said he's really not in a hurry to enter a relationship because he hasn't experienced enough ..(they met really young),he doesn't have enough relative experiences.. So when I said us dating might not be a good idea,because of that, he just dismissed it and went on as usual... We talked a lot, and on very honest levels.. we both agreed we like taking things slowly, and not rushing into exclusivity. I did not just agree with him. I really felt that way. Still feel that way.

Now.. it's been 6 dates and we slept together already, last night he said he had to be somewhere tonight.. And while still in bed, I asked him about his plans.. He admitted he had a date planned.

I reacted really patiently, but it bothered me.Right away.

I really do like him, and feel we're starting to connect.. so I can see a future there maybe, but this whole thing threw me in the corner, unprepared .. I knew there was a chance of him dating others, but didn't imagine it this way I guess.. :\

I told him how that made me feel and he apologizes for "being stupid" but still ..i know he will go if he can, and that he needs it. More than that if he feels the need for more, then I guess he doesn't really like me, the way he says he does..and shows.

My initial instinct was to get the f*** up, go and never look back.. but I'm glad at least I tried talking to him, and expressed myself.. I also like the fact he's honest with me.Kind of a rare commodity these days.

I strangely want him to go to this date, maybe it'll make him realize what he's got here.. and it won't just delay this issue,of uncertainty, like in the case where he doesn't go.

I really feel pushed away and not willing to talk\meet with him under these conditions..

It's 9:30 in the evening and he sends me messages about series I once told him about..I guess he's trying to show he might not be going..

Anyhow .. I'd like to hear your opinions.

Right now I feel like he'd need to work hard to fix this


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Most Helpful Guy

  • You KNEW the right answer in the first place: when he told you that he wasn't ready to settle down (and he has a pretty legit reason for that: he doesn't feel like he's had a chance to experience dating different girls in his life, and that's something that was important to him), you should have broke it off with him right then, because clearly you WANT a serious, committed relationship, and more than that, you aren't actually prepared to "share" him with someone else. Most people can't do that, so that doesn't make you a bad person or anything, but you lied to yourself that you *could* handle it, because you weren't willing to let this guy go.

    The thing is, he told you exactly how it was, and even though you didn't want that, you pretended that you were okay with it, and now the hard reality of the situation is hitting you. I would NOT expect that this is going to stop with one date with this other girl; he clearly wants to date around and have some fun for a while before he's ready to get serious again. It's not personal, and has nothing to do with how good you are for him or any of that. He simply isn't ready to have a serious relationship again with ANYONE, no matter what, and he TOLD you that, and you didn't really listen.

    Now you have to make a decision: can you handle "sharing" him with other women for a couple of years until he's gotten it out of his system? If not, then you need to end it now, before you get any deeper. If you're still single once he's ready, then maybe you can try again. Otherwise, you need to move on and find a guy who wants what you want, because right now, "G" doesn't want the same things you do.

    Compatibility is VITAL in a relationship, and you had a guy who was open and honest with you, but you didn't make the right decision with the information you had, and now you're faced with a worse decision than if you had broken up in the first place. That's almost always what happens when you're in denial about the realities of a situation: it just gets worse.

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    • I didn't pretend and I didn't lie to any of us. I really do feel a slow paste is the way to go. I didn't have any problem with the thought of him going out with others.. but I guess things change, since I like him more now :\

      I remember telling him that us dating might be a bad idea .. since the problem remains, but he wanted to continue. so I assumed it wasn't that big of an issue. :

      Thank you for your response!

    • "things change"

      That's what I was getting at. Of course, if you start dating someone, your feelings for them are probably going to grow stronger, and so while you might not have had a problem with him dating (or sleeping with) other girls at the beginning, you HAD to know that you would have a problem with it as time went on. That's where I feel like you weren't being honest with yourself.

What Guys Said 1

  • yet girls hate me becuase I'm ugly

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What Girls Said 1

  • Dump him .

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