This girl wants to date me, but she has a kid. Help?

This girl really, really, really likes me and she asked me on a date and I said yes, but just a "for fun" date nothing serious. She probably doesn't think this and thinks we can get into a serious relationship, but I won't because she has a 4 year old daughter and I do not get into relationships with single moms.

We have a lot in common (same favorite bands, movies, even video games and comics!) and she really likes me a LOT, and has since we were in High School (we are each 23). In fact I haven't seen her since High School and she recognized me from those years ago! She remembered me even though I have not seen her in 5 years (and I did not recognize her lol). I know that once I tell her I cannot be in a relationship with her it is going to CRUSH her... so I was wondering how to ease the pain for her?

Should I tell her the truth that I won't date her cause of her kid? Or should I lie? Help?!


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I recommend not even going on the date or spending time with her unless she knows the actual truth.Don't lead her on.

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What Girls Said 3

  • Just tell her that you don't want to hurt her, but that you aren't ready for kids, and that you aren't ready to be in a relationship with someone who has a kid. Don't lie, but don't tell her that you won't date her because of her kid.

    Try and make it a more of a (as cliche as this is) "its me, not you" thing than it about her kid.

    Best of luck to you.

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  • I'm a single mother and my advice to you ahugecat, would be to tell her how it is. Be a straight shooter. Every single mother I've had the pleasure of knowing has this incredible strength and resilience to them. Honesty is where it's at.

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  • Definitely don't go on a date if you know in advance you don't want to have anything with a single mom! Just tell her that self-blaming stuff already advised and try not to be around her much. She clearly feels more for you than you do, so it's only fair to point out why this relationship won't work, but try to avoid anything negative related to her kid - or you'll have to face an offended tigress protecting her cub :)

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What Guys Said 3

  • too young to be a mother LOL kid won't be a problem at all

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  • Tell the truth.

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  • let's face it honesty is the best policy, I would tell her but be tactful, point out that you realize you're being shallow and closed minded but kids scare you. Remind her that not all men are as closed minded and apologize.

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    • How am I being shallow and close minded?

    • that's what you tell her lol i"m not comfortable dating single moms either but don't want them to take it personally

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