Looked at my gf's phone while she was texting and saw her constantly texting some guy the whole weekend

Girlfriend and I just made up Thursday after a big fight, and we've been together for 5 months total. We spent the weekend together and stayed at her house because of plans we had made months ago.

This always happens when I go to her house, but she barely talks to me. I asked if she was mad or something and she said she wasn't going to have individual conversations with me when we're in a group.

I understand this, but she was sort of distant whenever I talked to her.

Then I looked at her phone while she was texting all weekend and she's constantly texting someone named "Devin". I have no idea who this is. It could be a girl, who knows.

But when we were on our way back to her house, it's like 1:30 am and we're still on the road. She's opening and closing this person's text window, then seeing the whole conversation again, then replying with a long text.

This sh*t bothers me so much. She barely puts effort into our texts anymore. Maybe it's still an open wound since we got back together, but Friday night we had a great night of drinking and she said how much she loved me and I'm the best valentine and boyfriend. This is the first time she said she loved me.

Maybe I'm overreacting? But seriously, how am I supposed to feel that she's texting someone that late and barely talking to me?

How could I even bring that up? Sorry I was creeping while you were texting who's this guy?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I think you have the right to be at least minimally concerned at your lover receiving a text that late. I don't even text my guy friends that late. At the very least you have the right to ask why someone is texting you so late. She'll probably respond with something along the lines of "what...you're setting texting curfews on me now?" And you can say "no, I just think it's a little bit inappropriate to be texting that late unless it's something really important like an emergency and you seem to be quite involved in that conversation, I'm wondering if everything is okay...no need to get defensive unless you've got something to hide". Anyway, it would have also bothered me for her to tell me "I'm not gonna have individual conversations with you when we're in a group. Why not? It's not necessitated, but there's nothing wrong with it...I mean after all...you guys are in a relationship and that would imply to me that you guys are more intimate that just regular friends, would it not? it seems like she's setting ground rules to prevent and really seriousness between you two, that's just my opinion.

    point of the story, when the texts start coming in at 1:30am, you definitely have the right to ask why the late texts.

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What Girls Said 3

  • Straight up ask her, but don't do it in an overly accusatory way. Just say, "I've noticed you've been a little distant lately, and I'm starting to feel hurt that you spend more time on your phone than with me. Is there something going on that we should talk about?" Any reasonable person would simply answer the question, or at the very least, apologize for unintentionally hurting you. If she gets overly defensive and angry, she's probably up to no good.

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  • I'd say something, because it would bother me way to much, I'd get jealous and I'd have a good reason to be. I'd be straight out no beating around the bush & I'd expect her to give me a straight answer because I deserve the truth. Basically if you got nothing to hide then you got nothing to worry about. &like the other girl said tell her if your gonna hangout with me hangout with me, dnt say you wanna hangout with me and then ignore me that's shady.

    And if she said she loved you make sure she meant it and not just slipped out because of the drinking or because she was in the moment.

    Best. Of luck tho

    And if your guts rite then think of it as its better I know now than later

    And its best this way ull find someone better

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  • If someone was barely talking to me, and constantly texting other people, I'd say something. I'd ask who they're talking to, not in a demanding way or anything, but in a way that lets them know I'm noticing they're talking to someone else while they're with me, not talking to me.

    If you're hanging out with me, hang out with me. Don't hang out with me, ignore me, and stay on the phone texting everyone else. NOT cool.

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What Guys Said 3

  • Sorry man, sounds like she's playin' u. This seems to be the signs of her loosing interest. Being distant(I hate that one), lack of communication with u, and more communication with this unknown mystery dude. I would def confront her non aggressively, and if she is talking to some other guy do yourself a favor and end the relationship on your terms.

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  • Since you guys had a big fight she probably found another guy to talk to or possibly even hook up with. But that is the worst case scenario. She probably needed someone to console her if you guys broke up and she found him. I would be a little worried but if you guys broke up in the first place, you will definitely break up again. Ask yourself do you really see this girl as a long term relationship?

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  • I'd ask her what's going on. I'd be a little concerned if I were you.

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