Does a guy really have to live on his own in order for girls to want to date him? even in his 20's?

is there really no way around this? I'm referring to being 21 and over if a guy lives with his parents, he has a car and a job, is going to school at age 25, well plans on going back during the fall semester

Updates:
i would like to be out of my parents house before I'm 30, I just turned 25 last month, it's just economically viable for me at the moment, besides, would a girl really turn down a guy even if the guy had a great personality, as in my personality matches well, great with hers, we have great chemistry, things in common, but yet I still live at home with my folks, would that still make her turn me down?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Buddy, I am at home, and though I love my family dearly, I'm dying to get out on my own, but can't afford it. I can understand why a girl wouldn't want to date someone living at home

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What Girls Said 8

  • I'm 27 and I've lived independent from my parents for the past 6 years or so.

    When I was younger, it wouldn't have phased me. As I get older, it's a little different. I mean, living at home for an extended period of time does make a lot of sense for some people in our day and age. For example, school is expensive and so if you can save some money by living at home, that might be a smart idea.

    But it does raise a set of... concerns, I guess, for me:

    1. The step to meet his parents will likely come a lot sooner than if he didn't live with them. That's okay, but it does cause me a little anxiety.

    2. If he has overbearing or crazy parents, they're more likely to cause problems for our relationship.

    3. We'll probably end up spending all our time at my place, because we wouldn't get much privacy at his.

    4. Independence (This is probably the biggest one for me). When he decides to move out of his parents, I feel like the question of whether or not we will move in together will arise. I'd probably want to live together (assuming we had been together for some time), but I'd be concerned that he hasn't had a chance to live independently yet. Manage finances, cleaning, cooking, laundry, repairs, and so on. I'd worry that if he was used to his parents taking care of him, I'd be put in a position where he didn't really know how to take care of himself and I'd end up playing the "mommy" role rather than partner role.

    Obviously that isn't the case for everyone who lives with their parents well into their twenties. Some people pay rent to their parents, as well as all their other bills (phone, car insurance, and what not). Some do all their own laundry, cook, clean, etc. But I would be a little apprehensive upon learning that he still lives with his parents that he might the stereotypical "mamma's boy".

    All that said, him living with his parents in and of itself isn't a deal breaker to me. If I liked him, I'd want to get to know him better.

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    • I had never seen things from this point of view, great answer, very explicative ^^

      I'm 18 and live with my parents, my boyfriend is the same. My opinion was that it didn't really matter; I wouldn't "dislike" a guy because he lived with his parents...

      But never thought of those things. And I guess I should learn those things soon, I'm getting old too... x_x'

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    • Uh, what? Where did I say anything about bisexuality?

    • wow sounds like things can be negotiable with you

  • I personally prefer my next boyfriend to live on his own (boyfriend's parents can be meddling/scary), unless there are specific circumstances that kept him from living on his own (e.g. he can't afford it even though he works his butt off).

    If he sits in his mom's basement playing WoW all day, no go. :p

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    • that's cruel

    • LOL it's cruel to have standards? I don't want to support a guy who is perfectly capable of working but refuses to.

  • Anyone who is in school (enrolled and actually taking classes in the current semester) is able to live at home with his parents. I think girls are attracted to success and want a man who can already take care of himself. By the time you're out of college for at least a year, you should be able to at least find a job or career that you can support yourself on. Even if you're living in a studio apartment with a beat up car, it's better than living at your parents with no job. That's going to make a girl feel like she's going to be needed a lot more than she needs her man, which is a really scary feeling. Personally, at 25, if you just got out of college then it's fine to live with your parents. As long as you have a job and a car; something that defines your success in life. But if you just sit on your parents couch playing video games and smoking weed while your parents go and work to support you and make you food all day that is a huge NO!

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    • girls make a big deal out of this but not so much guys so it feels like girls are somewhat of a gold digger

  • That's exactly what my boyfriend is going through right now. He's 25 and living with his mom...but...he's just saving money for grad school which starts in the fall. We've been dating for 2 years.

    As long as you're driven and have a plan understanding women will be OK with it.

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  • Nope, as long as he has good reason to be living at home (which you do) it wouldn't be a problem for me at all. In some cultures its the norm to live at home until you get married etc. I kind of think it's sweet

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    • at least I have a job so I am being somewhat responsible, do you think I made a good point there?

  • No. My boyfriend has been living with his parents since I met him. Its not that unusual these days. Granted I'm currently living with my parents also so I may be biased on this topic.

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  • No, sometimes its hard for people to get enough money to leave their parents house. The economy is not good enough for people to live somewhere alone. It´s better to save up money until you get the neccesary means to live alone.

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  • It makes things difficult, and it introduces the family into your dating life sooner, but I am dating/talking to a guy who lives at home (temporarily) due to moving back home from college... and he actually has no job. But he treats me very well, and THAT is a rarity with guys in todays society.

    Point is, it won't matter to the right person. Keep your chin up.

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What Guys Said 4

  • I was in this situation myself after I graduated college, and it was several years before I was able to sock away enough money to afford my own place. Just taking a shot in the dark here, but I would hazard to say that for the majority of women, they'd be much more concerned with a guy generally having his s**t together in life than where he resides.

    Not having your own place can be a hurdle with some out there, but if you are continuing your education, have a car and/or otherwise demonstrate responsibility for your own life, I think that would be OK for most people. Let's face it...economically, times are tough right now (and have been for most of the last decade). The days of every newly-minted college grad going from campus housing to their own place are over, for the time being...and I think if people took that into consideration, they'd be less likely to overlook you solely based on your residential situation.

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    • yeah I at least have a job eventhough it is minimum-wage but I don't plan on working on that for the rest of my life, just to have some sort of income so I can have a social life, and help pay for my education

    • "they'd be much more concerned with a guy generally having his s**t together in life than where he resides."

      Pretty much this, at least for me. Some guys live at home, don't have a job, parents do everything for them, etc. and that's not attractive. But if he has stuff going for him (going to school, taking care of his own sh*t, etc.), then it wouldn't be a big deal.

    • but if he has a job and lives with his parents is that still a turn off?

  • Well I'm in a situation with a job in my field and currently and going to move out of my mom house soon. First, I going to buy a car this week and save up for an apartment with my brother. I'm not going to be in a relationship until I get a car and a house/apartment. I go on dates with girls but not go any further with them. Feel like I want to be independent when I get into a relationship. Maybe that's just me.

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  • i dunno. I live by myself. I own my own house and my own car and have a full time career.

    I have friends 23+ that live out of their mom's basement, play video games, have no drivers license (much less a car) yet have amazing (and pretty) girlfriends.

    Yet I'm single.

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    • so they live on their own but have no car?

    • no, they live with their family, some are 23+ and don't even have a drivers license.

  • for guys yes it is, but I'm sure with some girls it can be negotiable

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