He's not ready for a relationship... so now I'm in the friend zone. Now what?

I was dating a guy for a couple of weeks... things were going great! However, my guy just lost his job and is trying to find a new one... and he is temporarily living with his parents until he can find a roommate (because he moved back from college out of state). He said he is still attracted to me, and still wants to hang out and talk and hopefully/possibly date in the future.

Is he truly not ready for dating/a relationship because of his situation? And how do I act now that we are friends so I can convince him that I am girlfriend material?

We have a date tonight... so that's why I'm asking.

Updates:
Our date went well... we went bowling and mini-golfing and then got a redbox and came back to my place to watch it. We had great conversation, and held hands during the movie and hugged before he left.


I'm confused with the holding hands part?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Just be there for him. Your presence alone will tell that you're a girlfriend material.

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What Guys Said 3

  • I hope you're a hard study because intuition is not your strong suit. The man is incapable of having a platonic relationship with you and you with him. You're playing a game of cloaks and daggers.

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    • haha yes you are absolutely right. My issue is that I second guess myself (which I'm sure a lot of people do), so I ask for advice. Why would it be a game of cloaks and daggers if we truly want to be together? What if he just needs to feel comfortable with me to open up? I honestly feel that this is normal as another user stated in their answer, the beginning of a relationship is always scary and confusing because it is the unknown.

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    • Meaning, I have shown you weakness. You are strange, and you have been blocked! If you aren't going to offer a good piece of advice, don't say anything at all!

    • In that case I apologize for your misunderstanding, being true to my nature, and most of all my weakness in finding offense at quick and rash judgement. My intent was decent and honest regardless of outcome as is so much else in this world.

  • girls do not get friend-zoned

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  • I'm not trying to sound rude, but why do you ask all these questions about him expecting us to tell you what's in his head? It's unrealistic for us to give you anything other than what we *think* he might be thinking. Have you thought to ask HIM these questions instead of people who are the outside of the situation?

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    • Yes I have and these are the answers provided. I am asking questions just like everyone else, mine are no different. And yes, you did come off as rude. Asshole.

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    • I mean, show him that he can be comfortable around me, and for me to act true to myself (which I do anyways). It's hard to really explain my thoughts, ya know?

    • I guess if that means just hanging out with him normally, then we are talking the same thing.

What Girls Said 2

  • hes probably just embarrassed that he doesn't have a job and doesn't want to get into a relationship now since he wouldn't be able to pay for anything. I say give him some time to find a job, while still talking to him, and when he does find a job he will probably be ready for that relationship again.

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  • Well, I can tell you this. He's the type of guy that wants to make you happy and satisfy you in a way that he can provide for you, so you can think he's the perfect guy, and when that happens, he will feel good inside and feels that the relationship is 100% secure. Get my gist?

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    • Kinda... so all I have to do is convince him that I like him no matter what?

    • If you do, you have to not only tell him but you got to find a way to prove it to him by enduring and getting used to a different life you might face being together with him and by showing your affection and love towards him at the same time. You have to do it long enough to make him start to feel comfortable and confident that he will then trust you and then start that relationship with you no matter what situation you BOTH might be in.

    • Thank you, I will definitely do that!

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