Should I leave him because we have different religions?

My boyfriend and I have been dating for 3-4 months and we're both in our senior years in high school. Prior to dating we were friends for 2 years.

Everything has been going fine so far. Our families like each other, we have great chemistry, and I can easily see myself spending the rest of my life with him.

But the problem is we have different religions.

He's heavily Christian and I'm floating between Atheism and Buddism(because of my upbringing).

So far we haven't had many disagreements because our practices don't interfere with each other. We both don't mind waiting until marriage for sex and I typically do homework on Sunday while he's in church. My vegetarianism and meditation don't really affect him at all.

But he wants to convert me because he believes that it will be holier in god's eyes if he dates another Christian and because he's scared I won't go to heaven with him. And I don't know if I could ever believe in Christianity because I've spent my entire life thus far believing in nothing.

While I do acknowledge that there probably is a god out there somewhere I don't believe there is only one and I certainly don't believe that every detail in the bible is true. And it completely astounds me that he doesn't believe in evolution or the big bang.

So far our parents haven't cared too much. His parents in particular don't care as long as he continues to practice his faith and I don't convert him to buddism or something.

So I'm stuck. We've talked about it countless times and he always tells me he truly believes that we are meant to stay together which is why he fears living an eternity in heaven without me. And it makes me feel terrible because he actually cries when he thinks about me going to hell. I honestly don't know what to do because he clearly cares about this a lot.

We've discussed the concept of practicing both faiths and raising our children to believe in both but he believes it's spiritually wrong and worries that this will drive him further away from god.

So now I'm considering leaving him just to avoid the potentially very painful relationship before the painful part happens.

So yeah...help?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I've had this problem before.

    Honestly, you need to resolve your difference. That sucks and it's hard to hear, but unless you come to a compromise, or one of your effectively converts the other, it's going to eat away at your relationship.

    So talk it out with him. Maybe you can show him that, say, the bible is not a divine document? That it has numerous blatant contradictions and authorship by more than one individual? etc.

    You don't have to boot him out of Christianity, but the Christian "left" can get along very well with any liberal Atheist/Buddhist.

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What Guys Said 7

  • "We've talked about it countless times and he always tells me he truly believes that we are meant to stay together which is why he fears living an eternity in heaven without me. And it makes me feel terrible because he actually cries when he thinks about me going to hell. I honestly don't know what to do because he clearly cares about this a lot. "

    this is what happens when you deal with religious lunatics. actually, what you're dealing here with is not just a delusional lunatic, he's a religious totalitarian.

    no matter what, you need to ask yourself, can you handle such a delusional guy for a long period of time? I mean, can you stand listening to all this religious crap all the time?

    you're obviously not stupid, and you know this is and will continue to be a big problem. you know that if you won't become a full fledged obedient god fearing wife and raise kids to be the same way, there is not future. you can be sure that what you have seen is not even half of it.

    so again, answer the question: can you handle being in this bubble of restraints and delusions?

    i doubt it.

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  • "But he wants to convert me because he believes that it will be holier in god's eyes"

    That certainly won't change the longer the relationship lasts. You may not care if he is an agnostic but he definitely cares if you are a christian. Time to have a frank discussion with him about it. If your conversion is a must for him you need to decide if that's acceptable to you or not and let that guide your decision.

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  • First, you're agnostic not atheist. Agnostics accept that there's the possibility of god while atheists reject and claim there is no god.

    Second, point out the fact that the parents don't care about your faith and that there's plenty of time for you to slowly learn about his religion and decide if you want to be a part of it.

    According to Christianity, God is a merciful god. Not being christian won't sentence you to an eternity in hell.

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    • Forgot to add. You guys are in freaking high school. The reality is, your relationship won't last through college if it even makes it through the school year. Just go with it.

    • "Not being Christian won't sentence you to an eternity in hell." It's true that God is a merciful and loving Father, and sending people to Hell isn't His way of punishing them. Heaven is an eternity in God's presence, and Hell is an eternity in God's absence. Hell is God's way of saying to the non believer, "You may finally have your wish. I will leave you alone now."

      Sorry for butting in here; I just want QA to know the whole truth. Other than that, I liked your answer.

  • nope. if you rwspect his and be does the same. stay togwther

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  • Get him to read Richard Dawkins' "The God Delusion" and Christopher Hitchens' "God is not great", show him some of their debates about God on YT. That should get rid of his nasty god thoughts.

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  • He probably will not stop trying to slam his views on you so leave him now while it is easier. He sounds like a judgmental, self righteous ass

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  • "But he wants to convert me because he believes that it will be holier in god's eyes if he dates another Christian and because he's scared I won't go to heaven with him."

    See, here's the problem. Your boyfriend thinks that if you don't believe in his magical fantasyland, you're going to end up being tortured for eternity by an evil being who just gets off on that sort of thing. So of course he's going to want you to convert.

    This. Will. Never. Change.

    Unless, of course, you convert your boyfriend to atheism, which is the most likely result of a believer dating a non-believer. Fantasies don't stand up to logic very well, and over time, he'll come to realize that his ancient tribesman mythology has been outmoded by scientific discovery.

    Personally, I'd just remind him that if his god is the type of god who tortures people for eternity for not believing in a story, then his god is kind of an a**hole and doesn't deserve worship in the first place.

    Christianity isn't a religion. It's mythology, and it's insanity. Tell him to use the same fact-checking process that he uses with the fantastical claims of other "religions", and see if his own stands up.

    And your boyfriend isn't even a Christian in the first place. Being a Christian means being Christ-like, and being Christ-like means asking yourself "What would Jesus do?" and then actually DOING what Jesus would do. This raises the question, "What DID Jesus do?" Jesus gave away everything he owned and devoted his life to helping people in need and publicly advocating forgiveness, acceptance and love. By that definition I've never met a single Christian in my entire life.

    Look, your boyfriend isn't really all that religious, he just been brainwashed to think that he is. You need to just slowly work on bringing him back to reality. It will happen in good time, don't worry.

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What Girls Said 2

  • So you're in high school, you've been together for a few months and you you're thinking you guys are gonna be together forever? I'm sorry but chances are very small that's gonna happen. I'd say don't take your relationship too seriously, you're still very young, enjoy your time with him and see how it goes. Once you grow up, and realize that you guys are meant to be, you could discuss this stuff. If he truly loves you, he would accept your religion. And don't ever convert religion for someone if you don't truly believe in that religion and agree.

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    • I know we haven't been together long enough. My last relationship was with a guy 2.5 years older than me(He was a junior and I was a freshman). We were together for 2 years and we broke up once he went to uni due to lack of time and due to other circumstances.

      But the benefit of it is I still have time to get out now before it turns into something more serious, which is why I'm thinking about all this now.

    • But that's the thing, you don't know if you'll still be in love with the same person in a few years! You're still very young. Enjoy every moment you have with him for now. If it does turn bigger in the future, think about it then and I'm sure that you will love each other endless by then and compromise and find a way to be together.

  • Religious people are nutjobs

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