Can the ladies help me understand what is going on here?

I'm absolutely crazy about this woman. She is a quiet type. Thoughtful and intelligent. Late 30s Has been single for a few years now after her last long term relationship ended.

She is quite introverted so its hard to tell face to face. She smiles and s conversational most of the time. She isn't really a natural conversationalist but we make small talk reasonably well.

On text /Facebook it s really weird. If I message her she is sometimes chatty, sometimes personal and sometimes short. The conversation rarely comes to a natural conclusion - she just stops replying. Sometimes her messages are jokey and conversational, sometimes quite clipped/ short. I start to feel like I'm bothering her and back off and leave her alone. After a while, though, she will find an excuse to message me and it starts again.

I'm just so incredibly confused right now. I can't move forward and I can't get over her.

Advice?!?!?

Updates:
Thanks for the responses. I'm having to be pretty careful as I see her quite a lot through a hobby we both share and can't afford for things to get awkward!


I've actually asked her out for a coffee twice now, most recently yesterday . Both times she said she was too busy. After she said no yesterday I'm thinking that at least I know where I stand at last. Later on that day she starts texting me again and liking anything I put on Facebook. After a little while of this, she was off again!

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Most Helpful Girl

  • When a guy I like talks to me a lot or is being really friendly I usually return the favor by being open and friendly back, but when I think about it later I start to feel kinda shy because I don't know if he actually has a crush on me. I don't want to come across to him as some slutty flirt, so I kinda back off and desperately hope he talks to me again.

    As girls, we sometimes have these alter ego things and try to pull off two different sides of our personality...at least I do:) It usually happens with someone I like:)

    So chances are...she likes you especially if she "finds a and excuse to message you"! Be Happy!

    Go for it and tell her you like her...ask her out for a drink or something:) good luck!

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What Girls Said 2

  • Ask her out during one of your conversations. You would nvr know what she thinks until you take a step forward and let your intention b known. You hv nothing to lose by asking her out. Either she says 'yes' and you know she's interested too or she will b ambigous to your invitation, which you know is not a gd sign.

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  • Well why can't you lol..." SMH.sheesh , ...women huh"..hey whatcha gonna do...right..lol

    Ok kidding ...but she sounds like most women...I do it cause well I like the guys.

    And I try to follow his lead..if he's flirty I would be if he's in the mood to have a heart to heart then so am I etc...I think she likes you and it's OK to ask her out...good luck :-).

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What Guys Said 0

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