What is the right time to have sex with him?

If a meet a guy and we start dating and I think we like each other and how long should I make him wait that is acceptable, he does not think I am a whore, yet he won't think I am frigid either? What say you guys? What is the acceptable amount of dates that a guy think is cool and natural for having sex?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Assuming your listed age range is correct, I will give you age-appropriate advice.

    Younger folks don't know themselves very well, much less know what they want and need in a relationship, so they NEED to move more slowly to avoid mistakes. As people get older and have more life and relationship experience, the assumption is that you know your own needs much better, are less naive, and are better able to figure out quickly if another person is a good match for you, so they don't need to wait as long.

    I'm sure you've heard of the "Third Date Rule." This simply means you wait for the third date to have sex, BUT, this rule assumes you are AT LEAST in your mid-to-late 20s and are an active, experienced dater. The less experience you have with dating, the longer you should wait.

    At your age, unless you haven't dated in decades (recently divorced, etc.), you should probably know yourself and your needs pretty well, and shouldn't be shy about asking a lot of questions of the new guy and figuring out if he is going to be compatible with you. Assuming you are feeling good about compatibility, and that you are both attracted to each other, than 3-5 dates is a good guideline. Older folks have less need for "games", but by making him wait at least a couple of dates assures him you don't just jump into bed with everyone. If you're comfortable on the third date, then I'm sure he'll be happy both ways (getting sex, and being reassured that you don't sleep around like crazy).

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    • Thanks MrOracle than 3-5 dates it is. I will certainly trust you on that. That seems pretty reasonable and you give good advice. I don't date that much and have been divorced for quite sometime.

What Guys Said 14

  • Honestly, it is when the female says it is. Guys can move fast but in the end, the woman is the one to say yes or no.

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  • This is a subject the I really hate, how long do you make someone wait. You should have sex when it happens naturally, if you are serious about someone and you are comfortable with them. When both of you are comfortable with each other, the moment will happen with no planning.

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  • Hi, I don't think there are any set times or amount of dates that you should wait, see how you both get on , and if the chemistry feels good between you both,then listen to your inner feelings, and intuition, maybe kiss on the first date, and increase the intensity a little each time, if you feel safe and comfortable with the guy all should be fine,and I think you will know when you are ready for sex, after I was divorced, I met another lady a year later and worried about when and where, sex should happen , but it just kinda worked itself out and we just new it was right for us to have sex,

    I hope this has helped in some way, and good luck.

    Regards

    Al

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    • Thanks shyboyal at least you know what I am talking about. I appreciate your advice. Thanks

  • I don't think about it in terms of time, but in terms of steps. Imagine to yourself a perfect encounter that turns into a perfect relationship, then see what steps you have to go through.

    For me it is:

    - I say hi, I get her attention

    - I make a compliment or something that makes her feel a bit flattered and smiles

    - we flirt, laugh,

    - We go on a date, we get to know each other

    - we kiss goodbye

    - we go have fun. ( like go ice-skating or something)

    .

    .

    .

    - ultimately when we have grown fund of each other, we'll have sex and it feels natural.

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  • 3-5 or as soon as you're exclusive.

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  • A few dates before is normal. As a guy I'd be accepting of a girl who wanted to have sex quickly, but It is always better to get to know each other more before hand. If for no other reason than to make the time after sex less awkward/stressful and you can sleep or carry on some kind of conversation which isn't forced.

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  • If it goes well after a couple of dates, there is mutual respect and the chemistry is there go for it!

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  • there should be no time limit or anything like that you will no when the right time is you will feel it don't pressure your self to do anything you might regret just wait until you feel and no that is what you want to do

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  • The 3 date (3-5) rule is tried and tested. If it takes much longer than that then I woud probably start to wonder a little

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  • That is really a question only you can answer. It depends on how you feel about him and what you believe.

    I know that if I slept with someone on a first date I would not have more than sex with that person.

    I also know that I waited as long as 2 years for one special person.

    Hope that helps.

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  • Some people may question your age to this simple question, but do it when your feel comfortable.

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    • I wonder why that would be? I will certainly will wait until I am comfortable. I have been quite comfortable being single for many years and by myself. I don't see why my age is such an issue. I kind of like being my age and alone. Of course, he is kind of handsome and I was just curious. Nothing wrong with being curious at any age.

    • Show All
    • I disagree about the age. If anything, being older makes it more confusing. Here's why. When you're younger, you're expected to wait for exclusivity. So those of us who are not casual about we do wait for exclusivity and it all works out. But when you get older, you get this 3-5 date rule. The problem with the 3-5 date rule is that you can be on date #6 and not have exclusivity! What then? What if you are on date #6 and you want the guy and exclusivity but don't have it? Then what?

    • Its possible that age roles reverse,

  • I always have sex during full moon,so should you

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  • Depends on where you want the relationship to head. If you believe the relationship is what your are looking for and you have gotten to know each other well, then all you need is the right moment. For a long lasting relationship, you would want to wait till that person is someone you can depend upon evidently and you two mutually care for each other. From that point on, a romantic date gone well typically sets up the stage for more intimate things.

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  • idk, most guys prob first date, if it was me, prob 4-6 dates or more :)

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    • Lol , that is if they don't plan on seeing you again. 4-6 dates seems cool.

What Girls Said 4

  • I read something that was pretty interesting. If you are comfortable to walk around naked in front of the person, then you are ready. Seems pretty strange but somewhat accurate lol

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  • I think its something that you will just mess up by over thinking it, when the time is right the time is right and you can't put a number on dates on it.

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  • after I feel comfortable with the person then it will happen naturally.

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  • I'd say after 3-5 dates.

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