Dating a nice guy but want the bad boy?

The title is self explanatory. I'm seeing a really nice sweet guy who is great but doesn't turn me on.he's physically attractive, but it's more like his attitude doesn't make me feel sexy.

There is another guy who's trying to date me and he's a player.he has a girlfriend, he's not as handsome but something about him is very sexy and he turns me on.he makes me feel so excited even though I don't want to admit it.

I wish I could put both of them together and I'd have the perfect man. Why can't the nice guy be as sexy as the a**hole?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • First of all I don't understand why you would want a guy who is willing to cheat on his girlfriend with you or any girl. Oh wait...he's the bad boy. Well I don't really know what you are really looking for, but then again, I don't think you even know what you're really looking for. I don't think anything will come good out of this relationship if you choose to pursue it and if you get attached to the bad boy, you could end up getting your feelings hurt. Not to mention you run a great risk of losing your boring but stable relationship with a good wholesome guy, by tainting his viewpoints on women and love and may even corrupt him to the point that he may carry the baggage of your cruel selfishness into his next relationship.

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    • Great advice. I don't want to do that to him. I'd break up before I cheated. I'm no angel, but hurting him is the thing I don't want to do

    • It's just a little food for thought. I know everyone wants and needs some excitement in their lives. Maybe you can try and figure out how to inject that into your current relationship to break the boredom of it. That way you can have some excitement and a stable and healthy relationship and no one gets hurt emotionally.

What Guys Said 6

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  • what is it about a-holes that attract women? I consider myself a "nice" guy; I'm still confident, make funny jokes, and I have a relaxed attitude around people yet I consistently see women draw themselves to guys that treat them like crap; almost borderline psycho killers

    And I hear the same girls complain about their boyfriends being abusive or mean.

    Perhaps some insight into this flawed logic can help us answer your question

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    • Watch how those guys interact with women.they're usually sexual, confident, not bumbling or nervous and charismatic. I wish nice guys would stop whining and acting like women are evil for simply wanting what we want.can't help who you're attracted to so no need to complain about it

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    • How can I make him sexy? If I could get him to make me feel like the player it'd be amazing

    • if he's introverted, he needs to get out more- make new friends and build confidence. I was very quiet for the longest time and wouldn't talk to anyone outside of family. Then I moved to a place by myself, made some friends, and while sometimes I can be a d*ck; the extra confidence attracts both dudes and women. People want to be around someone who acts like they know what they're doing. Even if the don't.

  • This is very common with women. Later in life when you realize that you can't build a relationship with those guys, you'll try to fall back to someone more nicer/more reliable. This is what I'm seeing as I get older. However, I now reject those women. They wanted the bad boy then they should have to stick with it.

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  • It must be because of their personalities.

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  • Uhh ''There is anther guy who;s trying to date me and he's a player. he has a girlfriend but is not as handsome.'' you just said the bad boy isn't as handsome.. and why can't be as sexy... because its not his personality and he dident get to choose how he looks lol? are you high?

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    • You must be high because your reading comp.is a little off right now. Lol please come back to this question when you sober up lol

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    • well ide go with the nice guy if I were you. Because in relationships someone's feelings always get hurt and the bad boy isn't going to care about your feelings at all.If you date the nice guy and your feelings change for him he will probably be nice enough to stay friends with you so your feelings aren't hurt as bad. I speak from personal experience it hurts real bad when your in a relationship and your feelings change or you SO changes nothing anyone can really do about that though people feel.

    • People feel what they feel and they want what they want nobody can help this so just do what you want when your young and have fun but do NOT let yourself develope feelings.

  • And the girls on here wonder why guys are getting the "nice guys finish last thing." This isn't uncommon.

    What does the guy that you're with need to do to be more attractive sexually? And why aren't you telling him?

    Also, I would hope that you have enough sense to not cheat, but who am I kidding?

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    • I've tried to tell him but he says that's just the way he is. I don't want him to be a flat out a**hole,I love and respect that he's a respectful guy with morals,I just want him to be not so gentle all the time and bring a little more caveman masculinity. How can he change that? Maybe he needs more confidence but can you just say "hey babe,I need you to be more confident and manly"?

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    • Whining is what little boys do. they do things like that and wonder why women don't get turned on by them. If you don't have qualities women like, either adapt or accept your position. Getting all emo over the feigned plight of a nice guy is really ineffective as well as counter productive

    • You don't listen very well, do you? They complain afterward. They're not being turned down because they're moping. That's just a result. You have to think about it from their perspective. Do you see where I'm coming from? You're basically saying to them "Stop complaining about no one wanting you." wtf? Girls are incredibly lucky that they have a vagina.

      What you're doing now is trying to rationalize why you aren't as attracted to these types of guys. Attraction rarely can be.

What Girls Said 2

  • youre an idiot. you really are. you don't know the treasure you hold. but you will. and itll be too late. sh*t I wish I had a nice guy. sweetie do better.

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    • Don't attack me.that's rude and uncalled for.if you are miserable because you don't have a good guy of your own, I'm sure there are many people on this site who'll gladly help you. don't be disrespectful. I need you to do better

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    • oh. I changed the settings. you can look now. but let me guess. you don't want to...because you already put you foot in your mouth lol and brantley is a very nice guy. but he's not my boyfriend yet shug. because I'm CHOOSING to be single! lol! and yes. I am angry because you have a blessing and you're wanting to trade it in for a headache... dumbass lol

    • I'm agree with katkaintkwit... girl who wants to date those type of bad guys either have low self esteem or don't care how other guy will feel... I was in same situation when the girl was hiding things from me and dated ugly dudes who are typical bad guys and was lying to me... I cared for her..but I left her ASAP when I saw her with that dude she was lying about... I don't respect this type of girls who don't have enough self esteem to attract guys with good qualities.. and the answerer is ri8

  • bottom line human nature sucks sometimes. I was attracted to a player too. I don't know if he had a girlfriend he claimed not to but he dated me for a long time without being serious so it was possible. he treated me like crap, talked down to me, you name it he did it, but I still felt ridiculously attracted to him. it was toxic.

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    • I know how you feel! It's like why can't I want the one who is good to me? Why do I get so excited about this a**hole? I don't want to like him

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