I'm a 20 years old, currently in my third and final year of university. After high school, I set out to make myself a better person and do the things I love. I act, sing and dance, I go to the gym 6 days a week, I get great grades, I have a great job, I'm doing very well personally.
But still, at the age of 20, I still have never had a girlfriend and have only kissed one girl. I've done everything in my power and I keep hearing the same advice where I go. "You're awesome and a catch! It'll happen," when it's sounding more and more like crap.
Another thing I also hear is the 'It'll happen when you stop looking,' which doesn't make sense. If I stop looking, how is anything going to change?
I see guys in my classes who do nothing but to go uni and play games and they have awesome, geeky girlfriends and I'm alone as I watch everyone have dates and sex and be happy.
I'm wondering if it's even possible anymore. Once I get out of uni, won't it be impossible to find a date if I leave uni with no experience or anything at all?
Most Helpful Guy
My situation is similar to your's and I know just how you feel - especially with the cliches people say so irresponsibly. My position is no better than your's I'm afraid but there are things recent events helped me realize. And so far I go by those realizations and the future doesn't seem this dark to me anymore.
1. You're not special and you're not being selected. If you want to have a girlfriend you have to get out and ACT in order to get what you want. You're not going to just meet "the one" one day and out of the blue fall in love with each other and live happily ever after. In other words don't think you're entitled with anything from any girl - you must work and earn it.
2. It's not your fault that you don't know how to communicate with girls in a way that makes them willing to be with you. Before the age we live in today (about 200 years ago) people weren't "suppose" to get their spouses themselves as it is expected from them today. The marriages were arranged by the parents and/or matchmakers. This "freedom" we have today has it's price - yes people who have developed high social skills are happy with it because they can choose who to be with. And there is us - the losers in this new deal - those who were kinda left out and somebody forgot to inform because no one remembers we exist. Most people naturally do develop those skills of course so it's not a social problem but rather a personal problem of a certain minority.
So the key is simply to realize that you ought to work in order to get what you seek for. And start developing those skills that will help you get there. It's really not your fault... It's just that no one has told you that before or taught you this stuff before. You know in my country religious schools teach guys in the last year in high school how to communicate with the opposite sex. I heard that a lot of religious nerds are really shocked when this information is revealed to them which only emphasize my points...
If you want some guidance from me contact my privately and I'll send you some links.0