I have a boyfriend. He is such a nice guy and handsome. But the problem is he broke up with his girl friend

before 3 years and after that he started getting tired of girls after dating for 6 month and less. I know its risky and believe it or not he has told me that he might hurt me Because he is not a good guy but since I love him I told him to be together and now we are dating. Now am afraid to lose him. I am just counting days till he dumps me. What can I do so that he won't dump me or make him fall in love woth me deeply so that I won't lose him? Guys you should help me out here. thank you so much.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I certainly would NOT say that there is nothing you can do.

    First, I suggest you limit intimacy with him as a preventative action. The more intimate you get with him, the larger the risk... the harder the fall. If he breaks up with you over this then it's for the best; he was only using you.

    The only way you won't lose him is if you help him change himself. He needs to correct the way in which he views himself, the world, and relationships. He needs to learn who he really is: he is a prince in this kingdom we call Life. I'm not being super religious... this is the right way to view reality.

    He can learn who he is by watching you; by observing your behavior, your words, and your beliefs. You are strong, you are encouraging, you are joyful, you are generous, you are a positive influence in this world, and you are a productive member of the human species. Be this person both when he's around and when he's not around. Tell him who he is, and gently reprimand him when he doubts himself.

    You can only reintroduce intimacy as a reward for change. After you see some change in his thinking, increase the intimacy by a baby step. Continue to look for change, and continue to reward it.

    Once you are satisfied with the amount that his mind has changed, and you are convinced that he loves you, and doesn't want to leave you, learn to be a follower. Let him be your leader, and show your appreciation for his excellent leadership. Deep down, every man wants to be a king for his queen... a prince for his princess.

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What Guys Said 10

  • I hate to say it but I have no sympothy or advice for you, for that matter.

    The guy admitted he is not a good guy and deep down you know, yet your attraction to him clouded your judgment and you felt you subconsciously you could change him and be the one girl to win his heart over, because deep down you want it to work because he just so hot.

    If you had been strong willed you would have let this guy go even though you were attracted to him (yes there is nothing wrong with doing that). If you get hurt you have nobody to blame but yourself. Not even him, because you can't say he didn't warn you.

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  • You can't. The reality of life is that you can't "force" people to do anything. All you can do is be the best you can be, be honest, kind and considerate. If he doesn't appreciate this, or has a hole in his personality that he's trying to fill by being a 'bad boy' and getting as many notches in his belt as he can...there's nothing you can do to prevent that.

    Loss is part of life. Fearing that loss can help the loss come about because you end up pushing people away by being overly possessive.

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  • First, calm down. your fear will negatively affect your relationship. remember that IF he dumps you, it's not the end of the world. Just try to enjoy the time you have and don't worry about it. Relax, that's the most important advice I could give you.

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  • "he has told me that he might hurt me Because he is not a good guy"

    Maybe you should listen to him.

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  • "Because he is not a good guy but since I love him I told him to be together and now we are dating"

    See, this is kinda what I mean. You are chosing a guy that has admitted that he could hurt you. You won't really have any basis to compain if he does.

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  • you can try to figure out what went wrong in his last relationship or figure out the certain things he doesn't like that girls do so you can avoid it. Like, for example if he doesn't like girls who get tattoos or smoke. Or girls who cut their hair too short. Then of course allow him to ask you questions too.

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  • hmmmm... Well, I think he is frustrated because he thinks he keeps hurting everyone around him and that he can't keep a steady relationship? I think that you need to show him how deeply you respect him and appreciate him. Assuming he really doesn't hurt you, you need to show him how happy you are that you are with him. He just needs a little boost for his confidence to show him that he isn't letting you down. I'm sorry I can't be really specific here but this is the main idea.

    hope I helped :)

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  • If you know deep inside it won't workout, why bother continuing with the relationship?

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  • ya you deserve it for not giving ugly guys like us a chance to prove that we are more than trash people

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  • You are setting yourself up to be hurt. There is nothing we can do or say to help you.

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What Girls Said 1

  • "he has told me that he might hurt me."

    I think you should get out of it while you can. All girls want to believe that they can "save" the damaged man, but its unrealistic. Find someone who isn't setting the relationship up for failure.

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